Out there, where fights broke out in the middle of the night, where there was no protection. The warmth of my blankets wrapped around me, and I appreciated that I’d found this place. I’d slept outside often since leaving home but I’d longed for something more permanent, somewhere I might belong. It was that longing, and the possibility of their understanding about my ability, that had me fixing windows when I wasn’t even sure I wanted to stay.
“Maybe they can find you a mattress or bed, too,” I said.
“That’d be nice, but I doubt they would be as willing to fetch me a bed as they were for you.” She grinned at me.
I didn’t want to think about their eagerness to please so I changed the subject.
“What was that fight about last night?”
“This morning,” she corrected. “I don’t know. My dad wouldn’t say when I asked him. He just told me to turn out the light and go back to sleep.”
“You asked your dad? How?”
“The same way I talk to Wini. All leaders can talk to their pack members just like Wini can talk to everyone.” Mary moved to the window and looked out. “The yard’s busier than it was yesterday. Come see. They’ve brought back a lot of stuff.”
I tossed back the blankets and joined her. She was right. More wolves and men milled in the yard below. Amidst them, items lay scattered about. I spotted an old claw foot tub, several wooden chairs, a tipped over table, a dresser with no drawers, and several other objects I couldn’t identify from the window.
“Want to go see?” she asked.
“I’ll join you in a moment.”
She nodded and left me. I pulled the bucket from under the bed and wrinkled my nose. I needed to figure out a better way to pretend this place had plumbing. It had been embarrassing emptying the bucket yesterday. Thankfully, Mary had shown me a back door.
Joining Mary in the main room, I asked her to help me pump some water. There, I washed my hands with the bar soap I’d set out from my bag and brushed my teeth.
“Winifred wants to know how your neck feels,” Mary said as I dampened the cloth with alcohol to dab on the healing marks.
“Still hot and tight.”
Mary nodded at my words and, after a worried glance at the door, frowned.
“What is it?”
“She said that a few of the males have contacted her asking when she means to return.”
I didn’t see why that would upset her. After all, Winifred had told them they couldn’t bite me without her permission. Of course they wanted to know when she would come back. Maybe the frown was because my neck still hurt. But why the look at the door? Was Winifred thinking of sending someone my way?
“I’m definitely not up for another bite if that’s what she’s suggesting.”
Mary shook her head. “She knows you’re not ready.”
A relieved sigh escaped me. Mary gave me a crooked grin.
“Come on. Let’s go see what they brought back,” she said, tugging me toward the door.
I reluctantly let her lead me.
As soon as the door opened, we gained everyone’s attention just like the day before. Many of the men stood possessively by some item or a pile of items. They all watched me closely as I followed Mary across the yard. She went to the bathtub first, and stared down at it with a scowl.
“You wash in this?” she asked me with heavy skepticism.
I tore my wary gaze from the tense men and looked at the claw foot tub. Its porcelain coating had chipped in many places showing the cast iron beneath. It had a drain hole in the bottom, but no holes for faucets. Mud coated the entire thing.
“Not as it is,” I said to Mary. I looked up at the man. My disinterest in the man warred with my interest in how he’d managed to carry it here from the junk yard. “This is perfect. Thank you. Was it heavy to carry?”
“Not at all,” he said.
I didn’t fully believe him. Dirty sweat streaks lined his face. If they weren’t from carrying the tub, then what? I gave him a small smile of thanks and turned to Mary.
“Where do you think we should put it?”
“You fill it with water, right?” she said. I nodded. “Then close to the water, I guess. There’s that little room just inside the meeting room.”
I had no idea which room she meant but turned back to the man.
“Would you be willing to bring it in for us?” I was very careful to include Mary in the request for further help. I didn’t want to raise this man’s hopes as I had Anton’s. The man agreed with a smile, and Mary tugged me to the next pile.
As we meandered through the yard, we collected more dishes, some silverware, cooking items, furniture, and a hammer with a roughly hewn “new” handle. Yet, there were items I refused. A moth-eaten cushioned chair that had a huge, and very questionable, gnawed hole in the seat; and a mattress, likewise gnawed. The men with those items looked like I’d slapped them when I shook my head to decline what they’d brought. I quickly moved away from them to inspect the next man’s items.
Near the woods, a wolf stepped out in front of me. My heart froze for a moment. Mary set her hand on my shoulder, stopping me from running as it stepped closer. It walked with a limp and one of its eyes didn’t open all the way.
“It’s Anton,” Mary said softly. All of the small noises in the yard stopped, and the hostility of those around us grew palpable.
The wolf dipped his head to the ground and dropped something from his mouth. Half a thick candle lay in the dirt and dry grass.
“Thank you, Anton,” I said as I cautiously retrieved it. “Why aren’t you...” Was it rude to ask why he wasn’t a man?
Mary seemed to understand my half-spoken question, though.
“I’ll explain later.” She pulled me away. Her tight hold on my hand worried me as much as the angry stares of the men around us.
Mary stopped when we reached the door. As if it were a sign, those who’d brought useful items began to carry everything inside. I thanked them once more as they left. When we had the room to ourselves again, we went in and closed the door.
I looked at her but she shook her head.
“Let’s go upstairs.”
In our room, she finally confided in me.
“The noise we heard this morning? They confronted Anton because you seemed to favor him.”
I stared at the candle still in my hand then quickly set it on the floor. Sane thoughts scattered as I numbly walked to the window. Most of the men either were no longer in the yard or had changed to their other form. But, Anton still stood near the edge of the woods, looking at the main building.
How many of them had he fought? My hand moved to my throat. How many men had I thanked today? Had I looked at any of them too long?
“Winifred wants you to know it’s in our nature and not due to anything you’ve done. Males will compete for females. The strong ones usually prevail. It means stronger young.”
Young? I didn’t want young. I didn’t want males. I didn’t want any of this. Except maybe a place to stay. I set my hand against the sill. My earlier thought rose again. Perhaps I could just stay inside. If I didn’t mingle with them, they couldn’t hurt me and they wouldn’t hurt each other.
Anton happened to glance up and catch me at the window. His head bobbed in acknowledgement then he turned and disappeared into the trees. Despite his beating, he’d found a candle and brought it to me, risking more retribution. And why? He knew I didn’t want anyone to bite me. It didn’t seem to matter to him. He still wanted to win my favor. He still hoped I’d agree to what he wanted. My throat grew tight, and I knew something had finally killed most of my fear: Pity. I pitied not just Anton, but all the men for their desperate hope.
“Charlene?” Mary said, her voice heavy with concern.
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” I said turning to face her again. “Let’s check out that tub.”