Arms wrapped around me. My world spun as someone lifted me. I buried my face against a shirtless chest and hoped whatever this was wouldn’t result in another form of abuse. I’d never felt so unwanted in my life, not even when Penny tried to rat me out at school. That thought switched the mad laughter to full out tears.
I cried until I couldn’t, until my already sore throat clogged and snot filled my nose. And whoever had me, held me through it all.
As I calmed, I became aware we moved slightly, a small side-to-side motion. A chin rested on my head and hands smoothed down my back. I reached up and wiped my eyes then turned my head a bit so I could see better.
We were in my room, sitting on my bed. The setting sun painted one of the walls bright orange. I pulled back, and the chin lifted from the top of my head.
In the fading light, I stared at Thomas, his face close to mine. I saw the brown flecks in his deep blue eyes and studied his short, thick dark lashes. I realized everything about him seemed dark despite his pale skin. But, he didn’t feel menacing. His gaze held concern, and it made my eyes water again. I’d manipulated this strong man’s mind, and he didn’t even know it. Guilt ate at me. My breath hitched in a typical post-cry rhythm.
He leaned to the side, grabbed a scrap cloth from the pile in my dresser, and handed it to me. I settled back against his chest and blew my nose.
“I’m sorry.” My words were broken and full of remorse.
“Don’t be,” he said gently. “Take all the time you want. I’ll hold you for as long as you’ll let me.”
His arms didn’t tighten. His hold didn’t change at all. Yet, his words changed it in my mind. My breathing slowed; and leaning against his chest, I listened to the steady beat of his heart. My stomach somersaulted.
I lifted my head again. He was waiting for it. Our gazes met. Slowly, he moved forward, giving me time to pull away. I didn’t. His lips brushed mine, a brief soft touch. Our second kiss. This one scared me just as much because I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and lean into the kiss.
He withdrew and watched me.
“Tell me what you need,” he said.
My heart skipped a beat as a single thought raced forward. A home. A place to belong. But I didn’t say it.
“Nothing. I’m better now. Thank you.” I straightened away from him and stood. He caught my hand when I would have stepped away.
“Mary wants to start sleeping closer to Gregory, but she’s worried about leaving you in this room alone. And, now, I worry Mary isn’t enough.”
I stared down at him. His dark brown hair looked like it needed a brushing. Maybe a washing, too. I wanted to reach out and smooth it back from his forehead, just to touch it. Instead, I forced myself to consider what he said. I’d known it would only be a matter of time before Mary left me. However, it seemed so soon. But it wasn’t. Not really. Not when you considered that Gregory would have happily Claimed her at their first meeting. They would have been sleeping together for a long while already.
“Will you trust me to stay in here with you? To protect you?”
His open and sincere expression stopped me from immediately saying no. The idea of sleeping alone wasn’t pleasant. Since my third attack, I had trouble sleeping most nights, wondering who would next creep into my room. Though I could protect myself, I wasn’t always fast enough...or aware. And the idea of using my abilities like that again felt too wrong. Somehow, I knew it was meant as a last resort, and if I chose to ignore that internal warning...I shivered and didn’t let my thoughts dwell on the unknown.
Now, with this most recent attack, I wondered if I’d sleep at all even with Mary or Thomas in my room. I glanced out the window. The vibrant orange was fading into a deep red.
“How do I know I’ll be any safer with you?” I asked.
“I would never hurt you,” he said. His sincerity reflected in his gaze. I shook my head at him, pointed at his mark on my neck, and said nothing. He heaved a sigh. “Never again.”
He steadily held my gaze and my hand. I knew he meant every word, just as I recognized the impossibility of his vow.
“There are so many ways to hurt a person, Thomas. Don’t ever promise someone you’ll never hurt them because you will.” I withdrew my hand from his. “I don’t want to be the reason Mary isn’t happy. You can stay. Thank you for the offer.”
Thomas looked toward the door.
“Come in, Mary.”
She opened the door. The lamp she held in one hand lit her anxious expression.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry for my outburst. I’m not sure why...well, it’s done, now. I heard you’re ready to share a room with Gregory. Did you want help moving your things?”
Instead of smiling as I expected, she frowned and glanced at Thomas.
“I don’t mind staying in here with you,” she said when she met my gaze again.
I stepped forward and gave her a hug. “I know you don’t mind. But Gregory makes you so happy. Why wouldn’t you want to spend more time with him?”
I pulled back and caught her looking at Thomas again. I glanced over my shoulder at him. He still sat on my bed, relaxed and unconcerned by our regard.
“Could you step out for a minute, please?” I said.
He nodded, stood, and left.
“Winifred is worried about him sleeping in here with you.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, hoping Winifred’s concern was for me and not Thomas.
Mary nodded hesitantly.
“She wants me to remind you she’ll be here tomorrow.”
I smiled.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry for crying like that. Maybe I just need a few more cookies.”
Mary finally returned my smile. It was weak, but it was something.
“She said she’s baking them now. I’ll stay with you until Thomas returns.”
I gave her another quick hug then kicked off my shoes and changed. Another long day gone. I crawled under my covers and closed my eyes.
Tomorrow had to be better.
* * * *
Snuggled under the covers, I lingered between asleep and awake. I was comfortable and felt well-rested for a change. It took a moment to remember the prior day, the fight, and the subsequent permission I gave to Thomas.
My eyes popped open. I once again had an up-close view of the wall. I held still and listened for a sign I wasn’t alone but heard nothing. But, rolling over, I found Thomas sitting with his back to the door. His eyes were open, and he watched me closely.
Neither of us spoke. Was he remembering how he held me last night? I had to look away before I blushed, and I noticed Mary’s bed and clothes were gone. They were so quiet, sometimes.
“Good morning,” I said, softly. He smiled slightly, making me feel a bit more relaxed. “Did you sleep at all?”
“Yes.”
I sat up and winced at all the sore spots.
“Well, what should we do today?” I asked.
He chuckled, a smooth pleasant sound.
“I was about to ask you that.”
“I know. That’s why I asked you first. How close is the nearest town?”
“Further than you’d walk in a day.”
“Where did Mary and Gregory go to find everything?”
“Town.”
I arched my brow in question.
“We’re faster than you are.”