“What are you thinking?” Thomas asked.
“That you’re too old and too wise for me.”
“Too old?” He snorted. “I’m no more than four years older.”
I grinned at him.
“I like how you didn’t try to defend your wisdom.”
“You’re much wiser than me. Even if you’re four years younger. May I sleep in your room tonight?”
“Yes, Thomas. You may.”
He leaned forward, and for a moment, I thought he would kiss me. Instead, he rested his forehead on mine again, closed his eyes, and exhaled.
“If I’m the hand that holds this pack together, you’ll be the heart.”
* * * *
The group brought back a deer. Thomas made them skin and quarter it before Gregory brought it inside. Mary had enough experience that she could help me butcher it. We saved four larger roasts for the oven and tossed the rest of the meat, diced into cubes, into two pots. For such a large animal, there was less meat than I’d anticipated. But, soon the smell of roasting meat filled the common room.
Thomas walked in, appearing more agitated and pale.
“Two more.”
“I think you should start saying no.”
“If I do, it will only make those already in the pack more resistant.”
I stopped stirring the meat and went to join him at the table. Mary still sat there cutting up the last bit of meat. When I’d caught her nibbling on pieces raw, I’d left her to finish alone.
She grinned at me and popped another piece in her mouth. I shook my head and focused on Thomas, who sat across from me.
“I thought the leader of the pack could give any command and have to be obeyed. Can’t you just command them to stop struggling against you and cooperate?”
“I can’t command them to give up their freedom of will. I can remove certain choices, but ultimately, they have to be willing to obey and concede to my command. If they aren’t, they can ask to leave the pack and become Forlorn.”
“Wait. I thought you said if they didn’t obey, they could shake the pack apart.”
“A voluntary and agreed upon leaving doesn’t hurt the whole pack. It’s the willful resistance of many that can break a pack.”
“Wini says it’s nature’s way of ensuring it’s possible to mutiny against a bad leader,” Mary said.
“Could Winifred ask them to obey?”
Thomas shook his head.
“Elders can make rules and laws to bind the will of all of our kind, but only when they are in our best interest.”
“Who decides what’s in your best interest?”
“The Elders.”
“So two people decide the fate of your race?”
“Yes.”
“She wants me to point out they are trying to find more,” Mary said.
I nodded to acknowledge her. I hadn’t meant to infer what they were doing was wrong or unjust. I only meant to try to understand it.
“You have to keep saying yes until the pack shakes apart, then.”
“I’m hoping they run out of recruits before it becomes more than I can manage.”
Tapping my fingers on the table, I considered what I knew of these new members. They didn’t like me. They couldn’t force Thomas to evict me so they meant to undermine his authority, thereby shaking the foundation of the pack, while also finding ways to drive me away. How did they plan to make me leave? Winifred wouldn’t let them bite me—neither would I. As long as I had a dry roof over my head and food in my belly, I was fine.
They already brought back the food. I stopped tapping and met Thomas’ gaze. Had he figured out what they would do next, too? Was that why he’d pushed to sleep in the room with me tonight?
“Charlene? Are you all right?”
“Yes. Fine. Dinner will be ready in a few hours.” I stood and went back to the stove. Behind me a chair scraped on the floor. The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I picked up the spoon and stirred the meat. A moment later, his hands settled on my shoulders and his jaw pressed against the side of my head.
“Did you know we can sense lies?”
“Yes, I believe that was mentioned already.”
“Then why do you keep lying to me?”
His breath moved the hair by my ear, and I struggled not to shiver. What was it about Thomas that made me want to relax and trust him? Was it that he’d held me while I cried? Or maybe it was that he had a burden of responsibility like I did, and I desperately wanted someone to relate to me.
“Telling you I’m fine won’t always mean I’m fine. Sometimes it might mean I’m not fine but don’t want to talk to you,” I said.
Mary started giggling behind us.
“Wini says you might want to take notes, Thomas. This wisdom is universal for females of all races. She also says ‘It’s fine’ has several meanings. If you’ve done something for us and we say ‘It’s fine’ that means you should go away so we can just do it the right way ourselves.”
Thomas let out a long-suffering sigh.
“Must you share everything with Winifred?”
I tilted my head down as if I were staring into the pot so he wouldn’t catch my grin.
“She likes me keeping her up to date. I get cookies,” Mary said.
“I need to go back out. There’s another waiting to make his oath.” Thomas’ hands fell from my shoulders. The urge to turn around was there as I listened for the door.
I wished I could help him. I just didn’t know how.
* * * *
During the night, a sound on the roof woke me. A single footstep, then silence. It saddened me that I’d been correct. They would try to destroy this place just to force me to leave.
In the moonlight, I could see Thomas. He sat with his back to the door, his head tilted back, and his eyes on the ceiling. From the set of his jaw, I was sure he was mentally scolding someone. From the sweat on his brow, I was equally certain that someone was resisting.
I sat up, drawing his attention. I slowly shook my head at him and held out my hand.
“Leave it,” I said.
He stayed where he was for a moment then stood and walked to me. His hand wrapped around mine, and I gave him a light, reassuring squeeze before I released him. I scooted over on the narrow bed and patted the mattress.
He studied me for several long moments. The disbelief in his expression made me grin; and with an arched brow, I patted the mattress again. He quickly claimed the space, lying on his back beside me. My heart gave an odd triple beat as I stared down at him. His eyes reflected in the light as he watched me.
He reached out, curled an arm around my waist, and gave me a gentle nudge. I gave into what I wanted and rested my head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around me, anchoring me to his side. I laid my hand over his heart and snuggled in with a sigh. He felt so right; so safe.
In the dark, we both listened for any clue as to what the new members of his pack meant to do. The longer I lay against Thomas, the more I became aware of the way he smelled. Like outdoors, just after a rain. I normally wouldn’t have thought it a good smell; but lying on him, it made my head swim.
I adjusted my position, scooting a little higher so my nose touched the undamaged side of his neck. Moving my hand from his heart, I gently feathered my fingers over his chest. The feel of his smooth skin teased my senses. I desperately wanted to kiss his shoulder and moved my head slightly. The arm around my waist held me tighter, an indication of how much he liked me close to his neck. Had he been serious about wanting me to bite him? Would he actually like that?
Worry made me stop what I was doing. I curled my hand into a fist on his chest.
He didn’t say or do anything for several heartbeats. Then he sighed, and I felt him relax. His hold on my waist loosened a bit. He turned his head slightly and kissed my brow, a gentle reassuring touch.