My eyes watered.
“I’ve never had a better friend than you,” I said. “If Gregory makes you happy, don’t hold back because of me.”
“If Thomas makes you happy, don’t hold back because of age or doubt. Waiting won’t change how he feels for you. Once our kind finds a Mate, it’s for life.”
And if I were honest with myself, that worried me more than my age. She watched me for a minute then went back to weaving, letting me think things through.
If I Mated with Thomas without telling him the truth, what kind of life would we have?
* * * *
Thomas wasn’t in the main room when I finally went to find him. He wasn’t anywhere outside, either. I stood in the sun, closed my eyes, and concentrated on where I usually felt him. It was like concentrating on my left hand but in my head. I found the spot and felt a hint of frustration coming from it. How did you call someone with feelings? Impatience? I didn’t want him to think I was mad. Not when I was about to tell him the truth about myself. My insides twisted at the thought. And I didn’t want to wait for him to come back on his own.
I knew two things that would most likely have him rushing to my side. Fear and hunger. I blushed, opened my eyes, and started to think about the kiss we’d shared in the hallway. The memory of his hands on my sides made me shiver, and my pulse jumped. The frustration disappeared. I imagined his mouth on mine, not a gentle, light touch but a starved press of his lips.
My gaze swept over the trees, and my breathing changed as I kept the memory playing in my head.
“You better be ready to run,” Mary said from behind me.
I jumped and spun around. Like a bucket of cold water over my head, her appearance stopped all thought.
She grinned at me.
What were you doing?” she asked.
My already flushed face heated further.
“Trying to get him to come back.”
Hands settled on my shoulders, and I let out a small “Eep.”
Mary laughed, shook her head at me, and walked back inside.
“You succeeded in gaining my undivided attention. Was there something you wanted?” Thomas said from behind me. What he felt flooded me, and my stomach did a nervous dip. Why hadn’t I felt anything until now? I’d thought it wasn’t working.
“I wanted to talk to you privately but maybe now isn’t the best time.
He scooped me up in his arms and took off running into the trees.
“Now is the perfect time,” he said, glancing down at me. His hungry gaze devoured me.
“Don’t run into a tree,” I said, nudging his chin up. He grinned and focused on our path.
As he ran, I tried to settle my nerves and my pulse by taking several deep, calming breaths.
We broke through the trees to the lake’s grassy shore. I was glad he hadn’t taken us to the marsh or garden. He set me on my feet and turned me.
“There’s no one around to hear us. Now, what did you want to discuss?”
I felt like throwing up. The little voice that had cautioned me when I’d thought about telling Winifred was screaming at me now to keep my mouth shut. I looked out over the waters, unsure what to do.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Thomas said. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. “I hate when you worry this much. You can tell me whatever you want or keep it to yourself. I won’t be upset with you either way. Just stop worrying like this.”
His hands smoothed down my back, and the voice quieted. My worries tended to fade when he just held me like this.
“I can control people with just a thought,” I said against his chest.
His chin settled on top my head. “I know. Winifred told me. She and I talked after the first time we saw what you could do. We thought it was tele-whatever, where you can move things with your head. When you told her it was something else, she told me.”
I frowned, not saying anything. I said it needed to be kept secret. And when she nodded, I’d thought she’d agreed.
“Don’t be angry,” he said.
I needed to figure out a way to keep my emotions in check.
“She told me because she had to. She’s responsible for all of us. Keeping information to herself about the possibility of someone in our midst who could control us could have killed her.”
“What?” I said, lifting my head.
“Like I said about Grey. Elders serve us, not themselves. If she knowingly did something that could potentially jeopardize us, she would die.”
I stared at him, unable to speak.
“Winifred does want to protect you. She believes that you’re a key to our future. She will do what she can to keep you safe. That’s why she told me what you can do and asked that I keep an eye on you. I saw what you can do. It’s impressive and as far as I’m concerned, there’s no reason for us to worry. The damage you can do is no worse than when we challenge each other.”
I could do so much more than he imagined. I could make them do things then make them forget. And if Winifred found that out, she’d need to tell Thomas or risk her own life. What would Thomas do if I told him? Would he keep it to himself? I studied his face. He wouldn’t. He loved his people too much. If he knew there was a way I could control them, he’d warn Winifred, at the very least. She’d need to tell all of the rest. I was very unwanted already. It would be my death.
I felt sick but quickly pushed it aside. I couldn’t fall apart; he’d know there was something more to what I could do. Fear snaked its way into my belly, and I saw his expression begin to change.
I did the only thing I could to distract him, to distract us both. I kissed him.
* * * *
Thomas’ head lay on my chest. His breathing was slow and even. I didn’t move to wake him. Instead, I lay there and let out all the worry and fear I’d suppressed since our kiss at the lake.
If I Mated with Thomas as he wanted, as I wanted, I would need to lie to him for the rest of my life. I could try to run, again, but knew he wouldn’t let me go. Even if I managed to leave this place, he would come and find me. He hadn’t wanted to give up his Claim before it had been official. Now that it was official...I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“What next?” I whispered in the dark.
Thomas shifted in his sleep, relieving some of the pressure.
I ran my fingers through his hair. I’d made it this long without deciding. Maybe I just needed to be patient and wait for the Universe to actually answer.
* * * *
Thomas and I stood outside, working together to hang laundry on the line. Everyone else was still inside working on weaving. I’d tried to start a mat but discovered I didn’t have the patience or skill for it. The leaves didn’t cooperate and, instead of a rectangle, I ended up with a weird shape with too many gaps. So, I’d opted to do laundry instead.
“Weaving’s not for everyone,” Thomas said.
How had he known what I was thinking about?
“What gave me away?” I asked.
“Your frustration. It felt the same now as it did in there.”
I wrinkled my nose at him. Thomas’ mat had been perfect.
While I was making my face, his expression went from amused to alert. He turned to look at the trail. A light blue and white truck rolled into the yard. Not Winifred’s truck. I stopped straightening a shirt and squinted against the glare of the sun reflecting off the windshield. I caught sight of a man behind the wheel as the truck stopped and the engine died. I turned back around to keep my face averted. Thomas moved toward the truck.
The man opened the door, and a metal on metal screech filled the air.
“Afternoon,” Thomas said as the man stepped from the truck. Thomas’ voice seemed pleasant enough, but I felt his tension.
“Afternoon,” the man echoed. “Sorry to come in here without warning. Am I interrupting something?”