I took this as a challenge to her request. Before I lost my nerve, I broke free from her grasp, stomped dramatically out of the bedroom, and stood naked at the top of the stairs, “Doug, Patty wants to have sex with youuuu!”
Patty giggled from the bed. When I walked back into the room, I grabbed the sheets to pull them over her naked body. She looked at me funny but didn’t say anything. I squatted on the floor between the computer chair and the headboard after putting a pair of boxer shorts on.
“Are you mad?” Patty asked in a whisper.
“A little. This is just fucking weird. You are gay,” I said quietly.
“So are you.”
That’s when Douglas walked into the bedroom completely unaware of the request that was shouted from the top of the stairs. “What did you say?” He was eating something from a bowl. Whatever it was sounded wet and sloppy.
“Patty wants to have sex with a real penis. She’s never had sex with a man before,” I informed him from my crouched position.
He swallowed his food. “Really? So, what does that mean? You want me to be the penis?” he asked with an incredulous, wet laugh.
Patty shook her head in agreement. When he saw that we were not kidding he pointed his fork to me to ask, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to hold her hand,” I said. He laughed harder before Patty snapped at him.
“It’s not funny, Doug!” she shouted from the bed as she pulled the sheet higher to cover her exposed boob. “She’s my moral support. I’m nervous, okay? I can’t do this without her here. Do you want to do this or not?”
“Are you sure?” Doug placed the fork in his bowl and specifically asked Patty to clarify that this was, in fact, her request.
“Yes!” Patty and I chorused.
“Give me a second to get hard and get a condom.” Without skipping a beat, he turned and walked out of the room.
I leaned in to kiss Patty while Douglas prepared himself. We lost track of time until we heard Doug ask again if she was sure just before he mounted the bed.
She stopped kissing me to squeeze her eyes as tight as she could possibly get them while Doug entered her. He is not exactly your average man; he’s a small anaconda, really. Patty’s grip on my hand was so strong it was painful, but I didn’t make it known. She opened her eyes to tell me she loved me as he began pumping, and then requested my kisses again. I obliged until she couldn’t focus on my lips anymore and needed to shout in ecstasy. I crouched near the bed and literally held her hand until she had an orgasm.
While the two of them transcended in pleasure, I experienced rejection. It was my most prominent emotional response besides the exceptionally traumatizing circumstance. The pleasure he gave her should have been mine to give. I was confused more than jealous as to why this was what Patty wanted, although I never questioned it again.
When they finished, Patty was full of rave reviews over Doug’s penis. She was rather amazed at how it felt in comparison to a dildo and immediately talked about purchasing a realistic toy, complete with mimicked veins and testicles as she cleaned herself.
Doug was exceptionally appreciative of the compliments. In a way, his manhood was validated by making a lesbian have an orgasm. “At least somebody likes it,” he said as he washed his dick off in the sink.
“You don’t like it?” Patty asked me as she sat on the toilet to pee.
“I don’t cum,” I answered frankly.
“All right, ladies, I’m going to watch my show. Glad I could help. Patty, congrats on your first dick-down.” Doug ruffled her hair as his laugh escalated in pitch. He dodged Patty’s attempt to slap him from her seated position and ran out of the room snickering.
“How can you not cum?” Patty asked in amazement as if this was the first time she ever heard me mention any of this.
“I don’t know. I don’t even get wet.”
Patty washed her hands and splashed her face with water. “I can’t believe you don’t cum. That was amazing. I mean, I prefer when you make me, but that was awesome.”
“Okay, Patty, Jesus.” I walked over to the computer chair and spun it around so I could sit in it as I watched her.
“Are you mad? Not even once?”
“Not even once. I’m not mad, but my butch lesbian girlfriend just got the cock from my husband. I’m a little unnerved and totally grossed out.”
“Shut up.” She walked over to me and bent down so her face was inches from mine. Her beautiful jade eyes looked into mine as she confessed, “Nobody can make me cum like you do, baby. Our sex is amazing.” Her kiss seemed to make the world I was in fade away. I sunk gently into the chair until we slowly pulled away from each other and continued on with our normally abnormal lives.
It was a month or more later, when Douglas and Patty left for their second trip to Hawaii. Their common interest in diving made for a perfect vacation between the two of them. My ideal vacation did not involve waters sports or lying on beaches where people kick sand in my face. I am not a fan of sweat, sunburn, or babies shitting in hotel pools. So we agreed that I would stay home to take care of our three dogs and two cats.
Both of them told me in separate private moments as we kissed goodbye that they wished I was going with them. I reminded them of my never-ending complaint list, which refocused them toward having a good time. They were happy little buggers when I dropped them off at the airport. I was relieved to get a whole week to myself.
It was during this week, while painting the living room, that I realized I didn’t want to live this life anymore.
Although it was a small realization, it was just enough to have a conversation with Doug after they returned from Hawaii. I chose a random workout session to do it. It was as hot as it usually was in your typical Las Vegas morning, so conversation while running was short and to the point.
“Do you want to stay in Vegas?” I asked, already winded.
“No,” Doug answered quickly.
“I do. Do you want to have kids?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t. We really want different things in our marriage.”
“What marriage? This isn’t a marriage.” He pointed to our first turn.
“You’re right. What do we do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Johnson told me I’m going to computer school. I leave in December for six months.”
He was used to the military life giving orders, but it is funny that, in the middle of this very serious conversation, he was mindful of how my girlfriend would react. “Patty will be pissed.”
“I’ll send her money for rent, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Thanks.”
When we arrived at the house, Patty was in the kitchen cooking as Douglas and I ransacked her space for ice, water, and food. She was genuinely upset when I broke the news, so I was thankful for Doug’s help with the explanation. It seemed to go over better coming from his calm words. He always had a way with swaying a person one way or the other.
In fact, he must have done this magic word-voodoo on Patty while they were in Hawaii because she wasn’t fixated on my upcoming training, but she began asking lots of questions about anal sex instead.
“What’s wrong with you? Why do you keep bringing it up?” I asked after the sixth comment about the subject.
“Well, Doug had this book and it talks about anal orgasms and all kinds of stuff. I read it while we were there.” As she spoke she was hesitant and used a lot of broken voice inflections that were not natural in conversation.
From these reactions, the truth was exposed, but I accused and asked her anyway. “Oh my God, you let him poke you in the butt, didn’t you?”
“Well, we were doing it and, since I was reading the book, I told him I wanted to try it.”