This is the first time I’m laying eyes on him since the fight, and he looks pretty bad. He’s got a giant bruise across his cheekbone, a big gash across the bridge of his nose, and his lip looks like it was split open. It’s clear Todd won this one.
“What was great?” He gives me his bright white smile.
“Oh, my God. What happened to your face?” Janice shrieks. I try not to laugh at her reaction. I will be forever grateful to her for distracting him.
“What, this?” he asks innocently as his green eyes land on mine. “Just a misunderstanding, right, Ashley?” His confidence, even in defeat, is incredible. And from the way he looks at me when he says ‘misunderstanding,’ it’s as if he knows something. But he couldn’t, right?
“Were you there?” Janice whips her attention back to me.
I shrug and try to stall, but thankfully, we are interrupted by George’s shrill whistle as he calls the team over to the pool. Thank you, George.
TODD
I’m having a hard time concentrating at practice today. I can’t stop thinking of Ashley with Casey. Every time I kick the ball, I picture his face on it. I hate that he is with her right now. I hate that he gets to spend time with her out in the open, while I have to sneak around just to see her.
I’m grateful when Coach tells us to run laps. I love the feeling of my feet pounding the pavement or asphalt or whatever it is we are running on. Usually, we all run together as a team, but today I need to be alone, so I take off at full speed and keep it up.
I know Ryan knows the whole story and will cover for me. I just need to concentrate on my feet and the track, nothing else. I try to push everything else out of my head, but it keeps creeping back in, so I just run harder, faster.
I feel the sweat dripping down my back, running into my eyes. I don’t care. I slam my feet harder with each step, trying to stamp out my dad’s voice, Casey’s face. I hate that I can’t even pick her up from practice today.
With each lap, I feel stronger. I don’t care about anything else, just running faster. I lose track of what lap I’m on, but it doesn’t matter; pushing myself is the only thing that is helping.
“Todd. Todd!” Ryan’s in front of me, running backward to get my attention, trying to get me to slow down. I’m at full speed, so he’s got to be running incredibly fast backward. He’s always been faster than me, the asshole.
“Todd, stop!” he shouts in my face.
I slow down a bit. He’s going to kill himself running backward this fast.
“I can’t!” I shout back. I need to keep going.
“Dude, just stop.” He reaches out to me. At this point, we are at a slow jog, but I need to keep going, or I’m going to have to face reality again.
Out of nowhere, Mark side tackles me, and we land on the grass in the middle of the field. Damn, that hurt.
“What the fuck? Are you trying to kill me?” I shout.
When my eyes finally focus on them, I realize they are out of uniform and have already showered.
“Shit, how long was I running?”
“An hour?” Ryan shrugs and looks at Brian and Mark who all nod in agreement.
“Coach wants to see you in his office,” Mark says as he gets up off the ground and reaches his hand out to help me up.
“You need to pull it together before you go in there,” Brian says. I know it has to be bad if Brian is telling me to pull it together.
I run my hands through my hair and feel how drenched with sweat it is. “Yeah, you’re right.” I wipe the sweat off my face with the inside of my shirt and take a deep breath. “I’m good.”
Ryan gives me a look that says he doesn’t buy it for a second. “Good luck.” He pats my shoulder pads.
When I’m finally standing outside Coach’s door, my heart won’t slow down. What could he want? Shit.
I have pulled my hand up to knock at least a hundred times, but I can’t bring myself to actually do it. I can’t afford to lose football, too.
Knowing I can’t put it off any longer, I take a deep breath and finally knock.
“Come in,” I hear from the other side of the frosted glass window.
“Todd.” A smile graces his face, causing my heart to slow for a second. “Come in and sit down, son.” He gestures to the wooden chairs lined up in front of his desk.
I’m still in pads and uniform, so it’s awkward to sit here. I should have changed and showered first. Damn.
His eyes study me for an uncomfortably long time. He threads his hands together, rests them on his desk, and takes a deep breath. “What is going on with you, son?”
“Me? I’m good, Coach. Really.”
He leans back in his chair and crosses his feet at his ankles. “Well, you see, you told me that before, and I didn’t believe you. Then you got yourself suspended for the first quarter of a game, almost kicked out of that game, now you’re sitting here with a black eye, and you were out there running a marathon. You were off at practice today. You are never off.” He leans back into his desk and threads his fingers once again. “So, you see, I have a hard time believing you when you tell me you’re fine.”
I have no words, so I shift my eyes to the floor and start to study the specs on the tile. I hope he breaks this silence soon.
“I talked to the Penn State coach. I know they gave you a verbal offer on Friday. Nothing is solid until signing day, though. You know that, right? They want you. Don’t blow this for yourself, son. I don’t care what is happening in your personal life; don’t bring it on this field.”
With that, my eyes dart up to meet his.
“Ryan told me a little of what is going on.”
I feel my fists tighten and my jaw clench. I’m going to kill him.
I can tell Coach notices, because his look softens for a second.
“He’s concerned about you, son. And I’m glad he told me. You need to talk to me. I’m tired of you telling me you’re good when I know you’re not. I’m here for you in this office, but out on that field, I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to hear it. On the field, you need to give it one hundred and ten percent, always. You can’t bring it to practice or to the games. Your focus needs to be on the game, no distractions. You hear me? Use the anger in the game, but don’t let it destroy the game.” His voice has grown to full volume, as if we are in the locker room at half time. All concern has been wiped away.
“Yes, Coach!” I shout back to match his tone.
“Hamilton, you’re a good kid. You have a bright future ahead of you, remember that. Don’t mess it up. And if you need to talk, I’m here to help. Here in this office, not on the field.”
“Right. Thanks, Coach.”
He gives me an understanding smile and nods his head. I know we are done here, but I also know he’s watching me from now on.
I still want to kill Ryan. I need to talk to him, but I don’t even know if I’m still welcome in his house, and it’s not like I have a phone to call him.
ASHLEY
I feel like I might drop right here on the pavement. We have a meet this Friday, so George is pushing us even harder.
I loved every second of my lunch with Todd in the janitor’s closet, but I really wish I had eaten something. I need to remember that tomorrow when kissing seems like the better option.
“Rough practice today, huh?” Casey’s eyes study me as he towel dries his blonde hair.
“Yeah.” I look up and smile. Pretend like nothing is going on, I keep telling myself.
“So how was homecoming?” he asks with a grin.
“Good. Great. Fine,” I say all at once.
“Okay?” His lips are smiling, but I can tell his eyes are studying me.
“George was really pushing us today, don’t ya think?” Janice interrupts us. I feel my shoulders automatically relax at the change of subject. I didn’t even realize how tense I was.
Casey’s gaze shifts before he nods his head in the direction of his gaze. “Your ride is here, Ashley.”
My heart flutters as an automatic reflex, thinking it’s Todd, but when I turn around, I remember it’s not when my eyes land on my mom.