“Thirty-eight yards. It was an easy kick.”
“Does this mean no state?”
“Yup. No state.” Ryan looks back down at the floor.
“How is he?”
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t talk to anyone.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. I tried, Brian tried, Mark, even Coach. No one.” He shakes his head again.
“What about his scholarship with Penn?”
“I’m sure it’s fine. I don’t know, though. He didn’t sign anything official yet. I mean, kickers miss; it’s just, Todd doesn’t.”
“He didn’t call or text me, either.”
“You should try to call him.”
“Me? He’s not even allowed to talk to me. His parents will hear.”
“He’s resourceful; he’ll figure it out. But wait, if you didn’t know what happened, why did you want to talk to me?”
“Something happened at the swim meet.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. How’d it go?”
“The race was great. I got my best time.”
“Well, looks like the break up was good for one of you.” His lips turn up into a small smile.
I can’t help laughing, because I thought the same thing, but then I remember what my dad said.
“Yeah, Dad said that, too.”
My brother widens his eyes in shock.
“Wait, it gets better. He said it in front of Casey.”
“Shit.”
“And then he said to Casey that he’s the type of boy I need, someone with similar interests, like swimming, and that I should go out with him.”
“No, he didn’t?”
“Could I make this up? I mean, really?”
“Shit. Todd’s going to lose it if you go out with Casey.”
“I know. I don’t know what to do, Ry. I mean, I’m not going out with Casey.”
“What did Casey say?”
“He asked why I didn’t tell him about the break up.”
“Did you tell him the truth?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“I just said it was because I still love Todd. It’s half the truth. I just left out the part about us still being together.”
“Yeah, that’s good, Ash.” He runs his fingers through his hair as he always does when he’s stressed. “I’ll talk to Todd.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I have no idea what to say, but I’ll tell him. He’s gotta talk to me eventually. Or maybe we don’t tell him yet. He’s got enough to deal with right now.”
“Okay. That’s true, but maybe it should come from me. I really don’t know.”
“Yeah, but first we have to find him.”
TODD
I can’t even breath I’m so mad at myself. I cannot believe I missed that kick. I don’t know what is going on with me. Maybe my dad and Coach are right; maybe I do need to just concentrate on football and scholarships.
But I want to be with Ashley. I need her.
I couldn’t go home after the game—who wants to hear ‘I told you so’ for the thousandth time from my dad?—so I left my car in the school parking lot and started running. It’s the only time I can actually concentrate lately. School, football, colleges, scholarships—it’s all too much to handle. I just need to avoid it all, and running is the only way I can do that.
My legs took me here, to our field, as if they were on autopilot. I need to be here to think. Even as a kid, this was my go-to place when I needed to be alone.
I can’t catch my breath, although I don’t know if it’s because of my run or because I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. Everyone keeps telling me to pull it together, but I don’t know how.
I have no idea how long I have been on this swing like a ten-year-old, but I can’t bring myself to stop pumping my legs. Flying through the air is exhilarating, feeling the breeze soar around me. While I keep pumping harder and going higher, I can see the lights of the town each time I float up. It’s breathtaking.
Thoughts of Ashley continuously run through my head: her smile, her laugh, the epic snowball fight we had in the field, right over there. Our parents can’t be right. We belong together. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have always known that, but it’s never been clearer than when she was ripped away from me.
Headlights suddenly blare through the dark, and I squeeze my eyes shut to block it out like everything else. Then I hear her voice.
“Todd?”
I open my eyes, but I can’t be sure it’s her. My leg deceived me in the game, now I’m sure my eyes are deceiving me.
“Todd.”
I hear it again, and then I see what looks like the outline of her silhouette through the bright headlights.
“Ashley?”
“Duh. Who else would know to come here?” It is her voice; I’m sure.
The headlights finally shut off, and once the green dots clear, I can make out Ryan’s car and my beautiful girlfriend’s amazing silhouette walking toward me.
“Come here often?” I ask, making her laugh. I love the sound of it.
“Everyone is worried sick about you, you know … especially since they found your car in the school parking lot and couldn’t find you.”
I start to slow myself down as she gets closer.
“Were you worried? You’re the only one I really care about.”
“At first,” she says as she climbs on my lap and straddles me on the swing. This is a much braver Ashley, and I like it. “But then I thought about it and knew where you’d be.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Not yet. Well, other than Ryan. I needed a ride.” Her lips meet mine.
“Can he see us?” I ask with my lips still connected to hers.
“Doubt it, and trust me, he’s not looking.”
“Good.” I twirl my tongue around hers.
“Something happened at my swim meet today.”
Shit. I forgot she had a meet.
“How’d it go?”
“It was okay,” she says with a blank face, and then her perfect lips turn up into a smile. “I set a personal best.”
“Ashley, that’s amazing.” My kiss is deep. I want her to know how proud I am of her, even though my game was shit. At least one of us killed it.
As she pulls back, her beautiful, brown eyes meet mine. “I heard about your game. I’m sorry.”
I run my hands over her hair then bring them to her jawline so I can study her perfect face. I love everything about this girl, but I hate the concern in her eyes.
“Stop it. It happens. I’m good now that you’re here.”
She leans in and kisses me, which is the best response I could ask for, so I return her response just as deeply.
“I need you.” I breathe in her ear as she pushes into me.
Then she pulls back. “I have to tell you something. My dad—” She stops and looks down at the dirt under our feet.
I glide my thumbs over her cheeks to force her gaze up to meet my eyes again. “What, Ash? You’re dad, what?”
Her eyes finally come up to meet mine. “He told Casey we were broken up, and he said I should go out with a boy like Casey, right in front of him.”
“What? Why?”
She doesn’t answer me, only presses her lips against mine. Through her kisses, she gives me her heart. I feel her stress and tension release as her tears run over my thumbs.
While she starts to tell me the rest, I hear her words and force myself to calm down, to breathe; I know our parents don’t understand.
“What did Casey do?” I finally find the strength to ask without losing it.
She squeezes her eyes shut. I hate the tears that are falling down her cheeks.
“He said he’d change my mind.” Her eyes go straight back to the dirt.
“Look at me, Ashley.” I gently nudge her chin to force her gaze back to mine. “You know that won’t happen. I love you, and you love me. That is all that matters. Even if you have to go out on a date with him to prove to your dad we’re not together, I know your heart will still be with me.”
She nods her head and finally gives me a smile. “It’s true.”