“Why?” he asks with a chuckle.
“Because we are already in enough trouble. And if we get caught together … I don’t even want to think about it, actually.”
“What can they really do? They already made us break up, and we see how well that worked.” He squeezes my knee on those words.
“So we’re not going back?” I ask, half scared and half excited to hear his answer.
“No, we’re going back.” He laughs then shakes his head. “I mean, I have some money saved, but not enough to live on.” His eyes slide over to lock with mine. “But I would love to do that if we could, you know—just you and me, together.” He entwines his fingers with mine while his other hand grips the steering wheel. I know I have said this before, but seeing Todd driving a truck is almost as good as seeing him play the guitar.
We drive like this for a while until he unlocks his fingers from mine to turn the truck onto a dirt road I have never seen before.
I glance up at him with questioning panic, but then, as I take him in, all of my nerves melt away. I trust him with my life, even if he is taking me on a deserted, dirt road.
The truck’s tires retaliate against the unpaved road, and we bounce up and down on the leather bench seat. We both start to laugh as we’re enveloped by a dirt cloud spilling around the truck from the dust being kicked up by the tires. With wide, open fields on either side of us, you can’t see a house or person anywhere. I have grown up here my entire life and never knew this road existed.
Everything is so crowded where we live. There are so many people. Here, though, it’s like we are in the middle of nowhere, yet it’s so close.
We drive through a small group of trees, and then, right in front of us, the trees open up to a small lake. It’s gorgeous, reminding me of a painting or a postcard it’s so pristine. The sunlight is bouncing off the water’s surface, creating what looks like golden, diamond droplets.
“Wow,” is the only word I can come up with.
He turns his lips up into a smile that is almost as beautiful as this place.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“Well, we call it the opening,” he tells me as we get out of the truck and walk toward the water’s edge. “A few guys discovered it years ago, and each year, they pass it on to a select group of seniors. That’s how we keep it a secret. Only a handful of people know about it. That’s also how we stay off the cop’s radar when we have parties here. Technically, I’m breaking every rule there is by bringing you here.”
“I love it.” I smile up at him. “And I won’t tell anyone.”
“Oh, I know you won’t.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me in closer to him. “Hang on. Stay right there.” He runs back to the truck, jumps into the driver’s seat, and turns it around so the truck bed is now facing the small, glistening lake.
“Come on,” he calls out once he’s settled in the back of the truck.
Blankets are laid out already, making me wonder if Mark keeps it like this all the time. Then I think of what that means and what Mark might be doing back here with God knows who, and I quickly push that thought out of my head as I climb up into the truck bed.
Todd is lying back and resting on his elbows. I love every single thing about him: the way his shirt falls onto his chest and outlines his lean muscular body; the way his perfectly messy hair hangs low, almost in his eyes yet never masking their beauty; how peaceful and relaxed he is in this moment; and the smile in his eyes whenever they land on me.
He pats the blankets next to him. “Come here.” Then he hands me a homemade PB&J in a sandwich baggie. “Your usual.”
“This place is incredible.” I lean in to kiss him. “I feel bad; I don’t ever have any special places to share with you.”
His eyes study me for a second before he leans his forehead down so it rests against mine. “Any time I’m with you is special,” he says as he cradles my face in his hands while his thumbs gently stroke my cheeks. “I brought you here today because I have something to tell you.”
“That’s never good,” I joke and smile up at him.
The smile he gives me sets whatever part of my gut that started to twist at ease. “Did Shane say anything?”
“Huh?” Okay, now I’m confused. Shane? Does he know about Shane and Johnny?
“I thought maybe he might have said something. Joe’s Pizza invited the Sour Lollipops to perform there on Friday nights, and now that the football season is almost over, we can do it. It’s like two hundred fifty a gig.” He leans closer to me. “So that can go directly into our runaway fund.” His smile lands on my lips.
“I like it,” I say, returning his kiss, cherishing the feeling of his lips against mine. They are so soft. Losing the joking tone, I run a hand down his chest. “That’s really incredible. I’m so proud of you guys.”
“There’s something else.” His tone turns more serious, and my hand freezes.
When our eyes lock, his smile is gone. I know this look.
“What?” I try to control my pounding heart, but it’s not listening to my head.
He runs his finger down my jeans as if he’s tracing every fiber. “I’m not telling anyone else this. Not anyone.” His finger continues to trace invisible pictures on my thigh, his eyes focused on only that. I wish he would look up so I can read his expression. “This summer, I mentioned to the Penn coach that I was interested in music and theater as possible majors, and he made a phone call to the head of the theater department.”
My heart starts to slow to a steady rhythm because this is so much better than the scenarios that were running through my head.
“I didn’t tell Ry or Bri, but I met with him over the summer, and he kept in touch with me. He invited me to audition, so I sent in a video and”—he pauses and I realize I’m holding my breath—“I got invited to do an in-person audition, Ash, for both their music and theater program.” The excitement in his voice is clear, and it’s so wonderful to hear it erases any anger I have that he kept this a secret for so long.
“That’s incredible. Does the football coach know?”
His smile drops just slightly. “He does. He said it will be tough, but you don’t really focus on your major until junior year, and he said players have done it before.”
“Really? See? And you were worried.”
He sits up a little straighter, his hand never leaving my leg. I can tell he’s happy, and I see the relief in his body language. I can’t help feeling the same way. As much as I don’t want him to go, I want him to get everything he wants even more.
“I still can’t believe I made it to the next round. I sang a song with my guitar for the video audition and figured it would never work, because it wasn’t from a musical or anything. I know this sounds lame, but I pretended I was singing it to you.” On that, his eyes meet mine. I can’t wait any longer.
I slide my body so I’m now sitting on his lap with my legs wrapped around him. I push my fingers through his hair and show him just how much I care about him through my kiss.
“Not. Lame,” I say through breaks between our kisses.
His hands slide down my back. There is so much passion, longing, and urgency in our kisses. I wish we could do this openly, but having to hide has made the time we are together even more special. Here, surrounded by such beauty, is so much better than making out by the lockers in the hallway at school.
“I have to tell my parents.”
“Yeah, you need to. How do you think your dad will take it if you get in?” I ask while he runs his hands through my hair. There is something about his fingertips running over my scalp that I can’t get enough of.
“I don’t know,” he says between kisses, “but we’ll find out, I guess.”
“What about baseball?”
“I can’t do both. I’d have to choose. Professor Murray said you have to be in either the fall or spring show, so if you can’t be in the fall show, it’s okay, but then you have to be in the spring play.”
“Oh. Are you okay with that?”
“I think I am. I mean, you have to do what you love, right?” I know he’s repeating my words, but he says them as second nature as his kisses trail down my neck.