I couldn’t carry on. I thought of Uncle Sam, and I wanted to tell him that what I was doing was for him as much as for anybody else.
It’s still a war zone, Uncle Sam.
I closed my eyes and began to weep. I didn’t give a damn that I was making a fool of myself. I was aware that Roimata had come to join me at the podium. Then Lang joined her with Sterling and Wandisa.
Oh, such a small tribe in that hall so filled with history.
Lang claimed the microphone.
‘Michael has been brave to bring this matter before us,’ he said. ‘But in this country it is our fight, not his. I ask this conference, in the name of all two-spirited people, to recognise the achievements of our two-spirit ancestors to all our traditions.’
There was a silence. Bertram Pine Hawk, without looking at us, got up and said:
‘A motion has been put to this plenary. I need two delegates to second the motion before I can put it to the vote. I ask for the first —’
There was a murmur and then a receding of noise into silence. I felt ashamed that I had pushed too strongly. Had I been more accommodating, I would not have alienated the audience from the remit.
‘You’ve all known I was a gay man,’ Franklin said. ‘I may as well come out now. I will support the motion.’
He was trembling, but then he lifted his head and seemed to grow in stature. Growing, growing like a tall tree of the forest.
‘I need a second person to support the remit,’ Bertram Pine Hawk persisted. ‘May I ask for a second?’
This time the silence was so deafening that I knew we had lost. My heart went out to my small gay tribe — Wandisa, head bowed to the floor. Sterling, unable to look anyone in the eye, and staring at his feet. Roimata and I, we were leaving Canada in the morning. But they lived here. For them there was no easy escape. For the rest of their lives they would be damned for standing up this day.
From the corner of my eye I saw Albert Pentecost whisper to Bertram Pine Hawk. The old man stood up, came forward, and I heard Lang groan in despair.
‘You all know me,’ Albert Pentecost began. ‘You all know my grandson. I apologise to you all, because it was wrong of him to stand up and to ask you to support and to vote on this thing which recognises people of two spirits. It was wrong.’
I thought the old man was disciplining us. I thought he was against us. Lang thought so too. He shaded his eyes and stepped into the arms of Sterling and Wandisa. But the old man’s voice changed. It was like the wind had turned and was blowing from another direction.
‘It was wrong of Lang because he was not the one who should have done this thing. It was I who should have done it. Me. I am his chief. It is my job to do these hard things and to make the hard decisions.’
The old man pointed at Lang.
‘Look at my grandson. He is just a boy. I am a man. This was a man’s job and a boy has done it. I am ashamed of myself but I am proud of him. He has shown more courage than many men in exposing himself in this battle. He and all who stand with him have exposed themselves to us. They have formed their war party and what are their weapons? Where are their bows and arrows? Where are their spears? Where are their other braves and warriors? They have brought only themselves to their battle. They are foolish, but I salute them for their courage. And I salute them for bringing to our attention something we have known for years.’
Albert Pentecost turned to Bertram Pine Hawk.
‘I join my co-committee member, Franklin Eaglen, in seconding the motion.’
Bertram Pine Hawk would not look at me. At us. He was one of us, but he would not look at us.
‘I will ask for the vote. All in favour, please raise your hands and say Aye.’
For a moment there was silence. Then from every part of the hall came scattered ‘Ayes.’ Surely the ‘Noes’ would outnumber us.
‘You don’t know First Nation people,’ Sterling whispered.
‘All those against, say No,’ Bertram Pine Hawk said.
There was silence.
In the end, it was as simple as that. No thunderous acclamation. No dancing around the totem pole. Change is not always telegraphed in big ways and with grand gestures. Sometimes it comes quietly from the silent places of the heart. Even so, I couldn’t believe it. I heard Bertram Pine Hawk turning to the next remit as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world to do.
‘Can you confirm for me,’ I asked Roimata. ‘Have we won?’
Roimata’s eyes were shining.
‘Yes, you dumb ox, we’ve won.’
EPILOGUE
Liebestod
Chapter Twenty-one
‘Okay, babe,’ I said to Roimata, ‘it’s time for you to get on your plane.’
The conference was over and Roimata and I were separating. She was going on to London, and I was leaving half an hour later for Houston, Texas, to spend a few days with Amiria and Tyrone.
‘Are you sure you’re going to be all right without me?’ she asked.
‘You’re talking like a wife already.’
‘Look,’ she said, ‘I’ve had strict instructions from Carlos. If you don’t get back in one piece and on time, he’s pulling my business class ticket from London to New Zealand. I’m sorry, dear, but when it comes to your welfare or my ticket, the ticket wins. Oh, you —’
Sometimes, when Roimata can’t express herself verbally, she resorts to physical stuff. Usually a furious hug and a badly aimed kiss. While I was wiping her lipstick off my nose, she said her goodbyes to Lang, Sterling, Wandisa and Franklin.
Surprise, surprise, Bertram Pine Hawk joined us.
‘This might be unexpected, Michael,’ he said, ‘but I want to thank you for all you and Roimata have done. Not only did you shake us up once, you shook us up twice! The irony is that I have benefited on both occasions. The Council is going to have to change, and it looks like I’ll be up for a more important position either there or higher.’
‘You?’
Bertram laughed and shook my hand.
‘Goodbye, Michael. Some future time, somewhere in the world, we’ll cross swords again no doubt.’
With a nod to Franklin and the others, he turned and left and — Roimata was hugging me again.
‘Come on, Roimata,’ I soothed. ‘We’ll see each other back in New Zealand.’
‘Oh, I’m not emotional about that,’ she answered. ‘I’m so happy at what we did here in Canada! Bertram knows it, I know it, you’re the only one who doesn’t! And this is just the beginning, Michael. Don’t you understand how much you’ve changed, how much you’ve grown? When we get back to Aotearoa, we’ll have to make our stand there too.’
Then she was gone, running through Customs, a whirlwind of beauty and strength.
I turned to Franklin.
‘Goodbye, Fairy Godmother,’ I said.
‘It’s been an honour, Michael.’
I turned to Lang, Sterling and Wandisa.
‘Be strong,’ I said. ‘You all have a long and hard road ahead of you, but together you’ll get there.’
Lang laughed.
‘Are you talking to us? We don’t know each other. We only happen to be standing next to each other. I’m a mountain Indian.’