Paul never gave two shits about me. That’s what my mother hammered into my head when we moved away a few weeks after that summer. He didn’t give two shits about me, or her.
But… could I have repressed the true memory of my rescue? Could I have made myself believe that my escape plan worked after what my mother told me about him?
Why? Why would she lie?
Childhood memories are always tricky. But, I remember that my mom started drinking later that year. Right when I turned thirteen. And when she drank, she always talked about Paul.
Alcohol was the catalyst that deteriorated my relationship with my mother. Could her regret over leaving him, coupled with the booze, have driven her to deceive me?
Not that any of it matters now. There is no Paul to pull me out of this hole. I have only myself.
If the most comforting memory I have is false, what hope do I cling to now?
I fold my hands under my head and lie on the floor. The cold tiles leech away my body heat. The only thing to do now is wait.
Chapter Nine
(Present day)
In the dark, the hours all mesh together. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about the vile collar around my neck.
I need to find some way to get it off. My fingers have explored every millimeter of it. There is no weakness to be found.
Every minute that goes by brings me closer to tomorrow’s confrontation. What will the contract say? What demands will my captor have of me?
It does not matter. I will never sign that filthy sheet of paper. I will never willingly surrender my freedom.
My mind keeps turning back to those initials: J.S. I’m sure I’ve seen them before. I—
In a brilliant flash, all the lights in the room go on.
I curse and squeeze my eyes shut, pressing my forehead to the cool floor against the pain. When it subsides, I look around me through slitted eyes.
There is something new in the room. A tray cart on wheels, covered by a black cloth. It’s well within the space where I’m allowed to move.
Still, I walk toward it very slowly, waiting for the telltale warning jolt that tells me I’ve gone too far. Caution is my sole mantra at this point.
As I get closer, delicious, mouthwatering smells waft from beneath the cloth. How long has it been since my last meal?
I get to the tray and lift one corner of the cloth. There’s a platter of hot breakfast foods covered by a clear glass dome. Two small holes by the handle let out the delectable scents and prevent condensation.
I put one hand on the lid. It’s still warm. This was brought here recently. Why didn’t I notice?
I find a little note by the platter. It reads, “As a gesture of goodwill.” There’s an arrow pointing to the other side. I flip the note over.
The contract is in the compartment below. You may sign when ready.
– J.S.
Suddenly my appetite is gone. I throw the cloth back on and storm to my pillar.
I go to the other side so I won’t be tempted by food. I’ve never been a big eater. Some days I don’t even have time for more than a bagel.
But my body knows it needs nourishment. Hunger lies heavy on my brain. I shove a fist into my stomach to stop it from making noises and try not to think about eating.
That works for about a minute. Then I catch another faint whiff of the breakfast waiting for me.
Just one bite, I tell myself as I get up. I justify it by admitting that food will boost my strength.
I walk around to the tray and wheel it to the center of the room. I take the cloth off, intending to keep it as a blanket. I throw it over my shoulders. It’s sad, but I feel like the barrier offers some protection.
I eye the plate of eggs, stacks of waffles, and bowls of fruit before deciding on an apple. It’s still whole, so nothing sinister could have been done to it.
I grasp the handle and lift… then frown. The lid doesn’t move. At first, I think it might be the pressure difference, even with the holes for air escape—like when you cook a sealed pot of rice. But then I notice the baby blue Post-it note on the drawer underneath.
Open me first.
Clever, I admit. He won’t give me food until I see the contract. I pause in thought. Pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make anything easier. And if I read the contract, at least I’ll know what I’m up against.
Information is vital.
I open the drawer and hear a click. The lid over the food springs free. I see the thin metal hinges that held it in place. But, my eye is drawn to the single sheet of paper inside instead of the food.
I take it out. The lettering is tiny. All of it is written by hand. The rows are perfectly straight, the words arranged like armies of marching ants. I bring it close to my face and start to read:
AGREEMENT OF SURETYSHIP:
I, Lilly Ryder (there is a blank space that has already been filled with my name) enter into this agreement with the understanding that I:
Have accumulated substantial student loans in the order of $180,000.00 (one hundred eighty thousand dollars and zero cents),
and,
Am unable in my current or anticipated future financial situation to satisfactorily settle said debt,
and,
Am liable to default on the full debt amount plus collected interest.
Therefore, I grant subrogation of the full debt amount to J.S. (“The Guarantor”), thereby granting The Guarantor all my former creditor’s rights, privileges, priorities, remedies, and judgments.
This is done with the understanding that:
All outstanding accounts held in my name will be assumed, and settled, by The Guarantor, who, acting on my behalf, ensures no further financial burden to me,
and,
Settlement of newly-created debt between myself and The Guarantor will be remitted through fulfillment of the employment contract (“THE CONTRACT”) contained herein:
THE CONTRACT
(the title is capitalized and takes up two regular lines of space)
Purpose:
This agreement outlines the parameters of the professional relationship established on this, the ____ day of __October__, 2013, between
J.S., (hereinafter referred to as “the Employer”) and,
Lilly Ryder, (hereinafter referred to as “the Employee”)
WHEREAS the Employer desires to obtain the services of the Employee as remittance for debt(s) owed, and,
WHEREAS the Employee agrees to render all such services on the terms and conditions set forth in this document (“THE CONTRACT”).
Employment:
the Employee shall at all times and to the best of her abilities perform all duties required by the Employer.
The Employee shall comply with all policies and procedures, written and oral, as announced by the Employer and described henceforth.
Compensation and Accommodations
The Employee agrees to waive her right to monetary compensation. Instead, all services rendered will count against debt owed to The Guarantor.
The Employer agrees to provide the Employee with all accommodations necessary for the maintenance of current health. This will be done at the Employer’s expense, and includes essentials such as food, water, shelter, etc.