My mind went blank. A cliché I completely understood: I could feel my brain trying to make words and not coming up with a thing. Nothing. Empty.Nada . Finally I managed, “Do as I say, not as I do. And Eric's a good guy. When he kills in cold blood, he does it for a good reason. You know, like love in his heart.”
“Ah, darling,” Sinclair said, gaze on his book.
“And I know he's cute and all,” Jessica said, “Alonzo, I mean, but I don't think hedates . You know, those types have minions and contemporaries, but I don't think there's much emotional attachment anywhere, with anyone.”
“True,” Sinclair said, still not looking up, “but do not discount Dr. Spangler's scruffy Gen-X charm.”
“No, you don't,” I said, ignoring how Marc suddenly looked pleased and puffed up a little. “I'm on to you, bud. You're not sneaking under Alonzo's radar by having one of us date him.”
Shit, when Detective Nick asked Jessica out, Sinclair practically drove her to her date. Heloooved the idea of a cop being on our little “go, vampires!” team.
“So he's headed back to the hotel?” Marc pressed.
“After a quick stop to commit felony assault,” I said glumly.
“You two are getting so chummy,” Jessica said, “I'm surprised he didn't ask you to go with him to rustle up some dinner.”
“No thanks.”
“You talked to Sophie's people lately?”
I slunk into one of the chairs. “What people? It's her, and it's Liam. And no. All's quiet from their end. They're waiting, I guess. For me. To do whatever.”
Like Alonzo. Like all of us: stuck in the same web of waiting. If I could get my hands on the guy who made the web, I'd throttle him.
“So, what?” Jessica asked. “Did Alonzo try to jump your bones?”
“Or did a slobbering horde of golden retrievers descend on you before he could make his move?” Marc piped up.
“Shut up, shut up. He didn't make any moves. He didn't do anything. He asked me some stuff and I asked him some stuff. And then we came back.”
“What 'stuff'?” Jessica asked, suspicion making her tone heavy.
Oh, whether or not I was going to put the chomp on you, nothing to worry about . “Vampire stuff,” I said, and wouldn't say more, no matter how much she bugged me. Which, by the way, was a considerable amount.
Chapter 18
It was the next night and we were back in the kitchen. Half the table (and it was a big table) was covered with liquor bottles and half-full drinking glasses. It looked like we were all going on a bender, but the truth was, Marc was trying to teach us how to make rainbows.
Jessica was having a bit of success; she'd get her rainbow halfway made and then the grenadine would sort of squiggle into the rest of it.
All my rainbows looked like mud. I was so fucking thirsty I didn't care; I drank the mistakes. The real tragedy was, I didn't feel anything close to drunk.
“Just—okay, watch me again. See? You slooooowly let it sort of dribble off the spoon. Otherwise it'll all moosh together.”
“I can get the first layer,” I said, watching Marc (who had put himself through med school tending bars) carefully build a rainbow-colored drink of grenadine, vodka, that blue stuff that looked like Windex, sweet and sour mix, and something else I didn't know the name of. I wouldn't have wanted to drink it (well, I was drinking it, but if I were still alive these concoctions would have had me on my ass) but once Marc made it, it sure looked pretty. “Then it all goes to hell.”
“Free booze and a metaphor for life, too!” Jessica watched her rainbow come apart, rushed it to her lips, and then made a face and put the glass down. “Why are we all learning how to make a drink none of us like to, um, drink?”
“I saw one of the bartenders at Scratch make one and thought it looked cool. Once I was sure one of the layers wasn't blood—”
mmmm, blood, precious blood
“—I thought it'd be fun to try. And I wasn't going to ask that vampire how to do it. She's fairly surly as a bartender, and worse when she's hostess.”
Where hadthat come from? Actually, I was starting to think about blood a lot more and more. You know those cartoons when the wolf looks at his friends and they turn into rib roasts and stuff before his eyes?
Jess and Marc were starting to lookreeeally good.
“Maybe if you were a little friendlier to the Scratch vampires,” B-positive—I mean, Marc, began, “they'd treat you—”
“Look, nobody's trying to kill me right now and that's just fine. If they don'tlike me, that's just how it goes. I got over needing people tolike me in tenth grade, when I spied the captain of the cheerleading squad on her knees in front of the offensive line of the football team under the bleachers, one day after school. I figured that wasn't the life for me.”
“Of course,” Jessica observed as she experimented with different rainbow colors, “she somehow still pulled off Miss Congeniality two years later.”
“What was your secret, Betsy?” Marc's eyes glittered with a fascination. “Did you do the defensive line instead? I hear that's where all the votes are.”
“Honey, you tell me. You probably blew more guys in high school than I did.”
He laughed. “Miss Congeniality! Seriously, that's great! Do you still have the crown and sash? I could get a date in no time if you'd lend me those props for five minutes.”
I drank another failed rainbow and ignored an empty bottle of vodka as it tumbled to the floor and rolled under the table. “Forget about it.”
“Yeah, but just think—”
“Marc, I said fucking forget it, okay? Do I have get out the hand puppets? Knock it off!”
“Jeez, Betsy, I was only kidding around.”
I resisted the urge to throw my empty glass at him. I wasn't mad at him. I wasn't mad at anybody. I was just…
Just really thirsty.
“I'm sorry,” I said, not meaning it, but that was what people said in such circumstances. “I'm a little on edge these days.”
“Sure, no problem. I had half your problems, I'd stress out, too.”
Well you don't so why don't you SHUT THE FUCK UP?
“Uh-huh,” I said brightly. The smell of all the booze was making me a little light-headed. Not to mention the smell of B-positive's aftershave. I probably shouldn't have been drinking so much on an empty stomach. Not that I could get drunk. Well, maybe I could. Eventually.
“Yeah, uh, Betsy, we've been meaning to talk to you about this.” This from myeloma. I was pretty sure I could smell it now.
“About what?”
“Your no blood-drinking thing.”
“It's not athing , it's a lifestyle. You know,” I added brightly to Marc, “like yours. I'mchoosing not to drink blood.”
Marc almost dropped the grenadine. He turned to give me his full attention when Jessica jumped in with, “Nuh-uh! Picking a fight to get out of talking about this won't work.”
“Right,” Marc said, looking less convinced. “That won't work. Bitch.”
Nuts . “Oh, come on, you guys!” I rested my forehead on the table. “I figured you'd be supportive.”
“Supportive of you breaking Sinclair's heart and making yourself nuttier than you usually are? Honey, your temper these days is almost as bad as mine.”
“Well, why don't you shut your fucking face, then?” I straightened up in a hurry as my vision cleared. “Sorry. That sort of slipped out.”
“Great,” Marc mumbled. “Vampire Tourette's syndrome.”
“And Sinclair's heart isn't broken. And even if it was, it's none of your business.”
“How's he supposed to feel when you tell him not only are you going on a hunger strike, he is, too, unless he cheats on you with other people?” Marc demanded.