“Did the last month never happen?” Was this really happening? “I thought we were friends? I thought we trusted each other? I told you things I never admitted to anyone else. How could you possibly think I would ever manipulate you like that? You’re suspicious of me because I was honest with you from the beginning. Yeah, I wanted to sleep with you. Who cares? But you aren’t suspicious of him? The guy who’s never around? The guy who has to work all the time? It’s like you don’t even know me.”
She turned away from me, her arms across her chest. “Ash, you should go.”
Was this really happening? “You’re going to stay with him?”
She didn’t respond.
Now I remembered why I didn’t care about other people. Because all they did was hurt you.
“Fine. Waste your time with him. Settle for less than what you deserve. It’s not my problem.” I left her apartment then barricaded myself in mine. I was so angry, so livid, that I couldn’t think straight.
I sat on the couch and stared out the window, wondering where everything went wrong. I never cared about anyone and I had no problem staying that way. But then Alaska walked into my life, a blazing inferno full of light and heat. She came too close to me, and as hard as I tried to stay away, she burned me.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Alaska
I couldn’t imagine Jace betraying me like that. It didn’t make any sense. I even asked him if it was time we went our separate ways and he said it wasn’t. He wanted to stay in the relationship, to be a better boyfriend.
So why would he cheat?
I didn’t think Ash was a liar. He probably saw a guy that looked similar to Jace. Ash had never seen him in real life, so how did he know what he looked like? And the fact Jace was at work like he said he would be contradicted everything Ash said.
I stood in front of Jace’s door, carrying a platter of tamales. I knew he hate unhealthy all day at work, so I wanted him to have a home-cooked meal.
He answered the door wearing a baseball cap and jeans. “Hey, baby.”
“Hey.”
He kissed me on the cheek and let me come inside.
“Smells good,” he said.
“Thanks. I always use my nana’s recipes.”
“Good for me.” He took it into the kitchen then set it on the counter. “How was your day?”
“Good.” I kept thinking about what Ash said to me. “You’re probably wondering why I called you at the firehouse the other night.”
He said nothing, just watching me.
“A friend claimed he saw you with someone else at a bar.” I shook my head slightly. “Obviously, he was wrong.”
“Very wrong. I’m a one woman kind of guy.” He gave me a smile then opened his refrigerator. “Beer?”
“Sure.”
He twisted the cap off then handed it to me. “So, you called the fire house to see if I was really at work?”
“Yeah…I just wanted to prove him wrong.”
“I understand.”
I eyed his cap. He never wore hats. “Why are you wearing a hat?”
He adjusted it slightly. “My hair didn’t turn out right.”
He barely had any hair… I decided to let it go. I’ve had too many meltdowns about my hair and clothes to say I hadn’t acted the same way. “What did you want to do tonight?”
“Actually, the playoffs are on…I was hoping to watch it.”
Oh…I was hoping for something more romantic. “Okay.”
“Is that cool?” He cringed while he waited for my reaction.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” I tried to hide my disappointment.
“Cool.” He moved to the couch and turned on the TV. As soon as the game was on, he got into it.
I stayed on my side of the couch and eventually fell asleep. I dozed off for a while then woke up at the last inning. Still bored, I played with my phone and tried to entertain myself. Jace was a fan of almost every sport, so he usually wanted to sit in front of the TV all year round.
When the game was finally over, he clapped. “Shane owes me fifty bucks.”
“Wow…big spender,” I teased.
He turned off the TV. “Ready for bed?”
“Sure.”
“I’m just going to head to the bathroom first.” He walked away and shut the door.
Just like last time, his phone lit up. And I saw the same name.
Sarah.
The paranoid set into my bones. My natural instinct was to grab it and read the message. But what kind of girl would that make me? If I didn’t trust him, then I shouldn’t be in the relationship. I wouldn’t violate his privacy like that. He would never do it to me.
He returned a moment later. “Let’s get to bed. I’m exhausted.”
Oh…I assumed we wouldn’t be sleeping. I hid my displeasure then walked into the bedroom.
I hadn’t seen Ash in a week. He was never in the laundry room, and I never crossed paths with him. It was like he disappeared.
I felt guilty for what I said to him. He was a good guy and I found it hard to believe he was trying to manipulate me. Perhaps he really did see someone that looked identical to Jace. It could happen…
I hated to admit it, but I missed him. Ash was initially some creep that just wanted to get between my legs, but he grew into something more. He was a friend that made me laugh. He was someone I opened up to. I usually hid my emotions from everyone, even my sister. But I didn’t hesitate when it came to Ash. He was a different person than he projected. Underneath all his layers, he was sweet and kind.
Which made me feel worse about the whole thing.
I had an engagement shoot at Pacific Beach. I packed everything and placed it on the passenger seat. I was already running late because my hair just wouldn’t cooperate, so I sprinted to the driver’s seat and hopped in. But when I turned the key, the engine wouldn’t start.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
What the hell was wrong with it now? I just changed the oil, and the battery was charged. I checked the light switch and realized it was on.
Fuck. I left them on when I came home last night.
Damn it.
Shit, what do I do?
I pulled out my phone and called Jace. It went straight to voicemail. He wasn’t at work so where was he?
I didn’t have time to dwell on it. I called my sister instead. She didn’t answer either.
Why did I have the worst luck in the world?
I eyed Ash’s apartment then rejected the idea. I couldn’t ask him for help. We weren’t speaking to one another and I felt guilty for asking him for anything. I knew I pissed him off last week.
I just needed to get someone to jump my engine. I got out and popped the hood. Hopefully, somebody would come home and help me. And hopefully, they had jumper cables stashed into their car. That was my only hope.
But I was running late. Actually, I already was late.
Shit.
I heard footsteps behind me, and I rejoiced at the possibility of help. But when I turned around, it was Ash. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. His bag was over one shoulder and his stethoscope hung out.
Disappointed, I turned back around and ignored him.
“Need some help?” He stood beside me.
“No, I’m okay.”
He didn’t move. “I can jump your car.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m sure you have somewhere to be.” And I doubt he wanted to help me.
“Jace is working?” The anger was clear in his voice.
“He didn’t answer.”
“Hmm…I wonder what he could possibly be doing?” The sarcasm dripped.
“You should probably get to class.” That was my nice way of getting rid of him. I didn’t want to be yelled at during an emergency.
He peeked into my passenger door. “You have a shoot?”
“I’m already late.” I sighed. Maybe I should just get a new car.
He dropped his things on the ground then grabbed the cables from his car.
“You don’t have to help me…”
“I’m perfectly aware of that.” The annoyance was in his voice. He hooked everything up then started his engine. Then he tried to start mine. The engine wouldn’t even turn. That wasn’t even a clicking sound.