“My sister wants to go out...” I released a sigh while I said it. “She says I shouldn’t stay cooped up forever. And I need to loosen up and not let that asshole ruin my life.”
“I agree. But be careful.”
“I will. I’ll probably stay huddled in a corner while my sister takes to the dance floor.”
He smirked. “Will you be drinking?”
“A little bit to take the edge off.”
“Well, I’m staying in tonight so if you need a ride, just text me.”
“Thanks.” He was always a good friend to me.
“Have a good time.”
“Thanks.” I turned away.
“Alaska?”
“Hmm?” I glanced at him over my shoulder.
“You look damn fine.” He winked at me.
I blushed. “Thanks…” Then I headed down the stairs to my truck.
“That’s all you’re going to drink?” Payton pushed the glass closer to me.
“I’m not a horse.”
She rolled her eyes. “What happened to loosening up?”
“Is loosening up synonymous with being wasted?”
She shrugged. “I think so.”
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.
She looked across the bar. “Oooh…look at those two guys.”
I followed her direction. They were cute but I didn’t feel anything. “They’re fine.”
“Fine? No, they are hot. Look at those arms. We should talk to them.”
“Uh…I’m good.”
She glared at me. “If you’re just going to sit here and talk to me, then you aren’t even out. We could have done this at home.”
“How about we take baby steps?”
“Are you not over Jace?”
I was definitely over Jace. “Of course, I am.”
‘Then pick up a new guy.”
For some reason, Ash’s face came into my mind. There was no reason for it, and I couldn’t explain why I reacted that way. “I’m just not ready for that…”
“I didn’t say marry the guy. Just have fun.”
“I don’t know how to have fun…”
“Then I’m going to teach you.”
“How about we just head home and watch TV in our pajamas?”
She gave me the darkest scowl I’d ever seen. “I’m not even going to respond to that.”
Maybe I should have just stayed in tonight. Ash could have made me hot cocoa and had a quiet conversation with me. Wait. That was exactly why Jace betrayed me. I was boring and unremarkable.
Payton waved at the two guys.
“What are you doing?” I hissed. I grabbed her arm and yanked it down.
“Here they come.” She gave them a wide grin then sat beside me.
My heart was beating at a million miles an hour.
One of the guys had blonde hair and blue eyes. His arms were thick like he carried trees for a living, and the other guy was a brunette. They were both six feet tall and easy on the eyes. They whispered to one another while they walked, probably deciding who gets whom.
I was not ready for this…
The brunette moved to me. I guess I was his pick. “Hey.” He pulled his sunglasses over his eyes. “I need to protect my eyes from the sun.” He held his hands out like I was a burning ball of fusion.
“Huh?” I didn’t get it.
He pulled his glasses off. “Your dress. It’s gold.”
“Oh.” Duh. “I get it…” God, I was awkward.
Payton immediately started chatting with the blonde. I knew he was into her because he was leaning close to her, hanging on every word she said.
“I know you’re going to think this is a line, and I don’t really care, but you’re seriously one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. When you guys waved us over, I almost didn’t believe it.”
Most beautiful woman? Yeah, it was a line. But I wasn’t going to be a jerk about it. “Thanks…”
He stared at me hard. “So, what do you do?”
“I’m a photographer.” I guess meeting someone new wasn’t that bad. He seemed nice.
“Cool. What do you photograph?”
“People and places. I do weddings and portraits.”
“Even cooler.” He sat in the stool beside me then scooted it closer to me. The music was loud so conversations were difficult. Or maybe he just wanted to be closer to me. I wasn’t sure. “So, you got a boyfriend?”
My body stiffened at the question. “No.”
“That’s the answer I was hoping to hear.”
I turned to Payton to see if she was just as uncomfortable as I was. Her and the blonde guy were making out like the world was about to end.
He caught my look. “Looks like they’re paired off for the night.”
Damn.
“I’m Kyle, by the way.” He leaned closer to me like he might kiss me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Alaska.”
“Alaska? That’s a very cool name.”
Did he know any other word besides cool? “Thanks…”
He stared at me hard for a moment, his eyes lingering on my lips and my eyes.
I knew what was coming.
He leaned in, going for the kill.
My heart kicked into overdrive. I wasn’t ready for this. I couldn’t make out with a stranger at a bar. It would lead to other things I couldn’t handle. His cologne moved into my nose and my head started to spin. The music was loud, thumping in my ears, but I could still hear my sister’s sighs of pleasure while she practically dry-humped her date.
I pulled away and almost tripped over my chair. “Sorry…I can’t.”
Confusion flooded his face. He watched me like I was a bomb about to go off.
I stormed away from the table, heading for the entrance. I had to push around people just to get through. It was dark and light was limited. The smell of marijuana came into my nose. It felt more like a club than a bar.
I headed past the bar when I spotted someone I recognized. Jace’s tattoo was visible under the dim lights. He stood at the bar while Sarah sat in a stool, her legs open. He stood between them, his face pressed close to hers. With one hand on her ass, he kissed her. Then he pulled away and said something, making them both laugh. Then he kissed her again.
It’d been two months but the sight still bothered me. It wasn’t the fact he was with someone else, the fact he didn’t love me. But it was the fact I wasn’t good enough. Sarah squeezed her knees around his waist and let him grope her openly. She wasn’t shy about what she wanted. Her low-cut shirt showed her obvious cleavage, and Jace stared at it every few seconds, not being discreet about it. She was outgoing, slutty, and lively. No wonder he preferred her over me. I preferred staying at home, hiding from the world. I wanted a quiet conversation over music. I wanted a relationship based on trust and friendship. I never dived head first into anything.
I thought I was living my life the right way, but I clearly wasn’t. My parents didn’t want me and neither did Jace. I needed to change my life, be different. I needed to be fun and outgoing. I wanted to lose myself and be like my sister. I didn’t want to be in pain anymore. I wanted to be reckless without any consequence.
I turned back around and marched to the table.
Kyle was sitting in the same spot, looking bored. Payton and Blondie were still going at it, hard and heavy. I’m sure they’d leave in a minute or two, shacking up at someone’s apartment.
I came back to him then stopped in front of him.
He looked at me, the confusion back.
Okay…now what?
He stared at me, waiting for something to happen.
I took a deep breath then cupped his face. Then I kissed him.
I was drunk off my ass. I had too many glasses to count and my head was starting to spin. I was sitting on Kyle’s lap with my arms hooked around his neck. His erection rubbed against me every time he moved. The alcohol lowered my inhibitions, making me crazier than I’d ever been. We kissed with aggression, sucking each other’s mouths while our tongues rubbed together.
He suddenly pulled away. “You want to get out of here?”
Do it, Alaska. Come on. “Yeah.”
“Awesome.” He finished his beer then grabbed me by the hand. He led me out of the bar. My sister and her date were already gone. Now it was just me and Kyle.
Kyle steered me to the left, but I wanted to go to the right. I wanted to make sure Jace got a glimpse of me. Feeling brave, I put Kyle’s hand on my ass and made him squeeze it.