The countess released my hand and motioned for me to sit in a chair across from hers. A bead of sweat ran down the side of my face. I wiped it away as politely as possible. The countess tucked her hands under the blanket. “I hope this heat isn’t too oppressive for you. I’m afraid I need to maintain this temperature, otherwise my joints become quite painful.”
The countess gave me just enough time to nod before she continued. Her voice had been as feeble as her handshake, but it suddenly shifted into business mode.
“Your services have been recommended to me by a trusted friend, who prefers to remain anonymous. Suffice to say that your unique abilities are what I need right now.”
She didn’t waste any time. For an instant I thought about asking her who’d referred me, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t tell me. “Which of my unique abilities are you referring to?”
The countess didn’t smile. “I’m sure you have many unique abilities. The one I would hire you for is your knack for locating people and things. I understand that this knack has made you some friends — and more than a few enemies.”
I crossed my legs nonchalantly. “Well, wasn’t it Roy Rogers who used to say you can’t please all the people all the time?”
The old woman turned her gaze toward the fire. “It’s good to hear you say that, Mr.
Murphy, because this errand may make you unpopular with some people.”
I studied the countess’s face, trying to guess where this was headed. She stared impassively into the dancing flames, which threw shadows across her ancient profile.
“What exactly do you mean by unpopular?”
The countess pulled her eyes from the fire and looked back at me intently. “Let me give you some background information; then you can decide for yourself.”
I nodded as she pulled the shawl closer around her slumped shoulders.
“Some time ago, a family heirloom was stolen from this bungalow. I keep most of my valuables on my estate in Europe, but on this visit, I brought the item to show to a friend. I have made extensive inquiries trying to retrieve it, but have found out very little.”
Bungalow. That was rich.
“Pardon my ignorance, Countess, but I’m guessing that you have the resources — cash, I mean — to buy all the information you need. What makes you think I can help you?”
The old woman didn’t bat an eye. “I don’t, though you shouldn’t take that personally. I have others working for me on the same matter. My friend recommended you, and I’ve exhausted every option, without success. I’m afraid you’re something of a last resort.”
I wasn’t certain if I’d been insulted or not. “Referring to me as a last resort could double my fee.”
The countess sighed, as though the subject of money was distasteful. “I’d already planned on paying you much more than your usual fee. I’m a wealthy woman, Mr.
Murphy. To give you an idea, the stolen artifact alone is worth more money than most men could earn in ten lifetimes.”
These jabs were putting me on the defensive. Keeping in mind my destitute circumstances, I tried to be pleasant. “Well just see about that when I win the Clearing House Sweepstakes.”
“How quaint.” The old woman didn’t seem amused. “Let’s not waste any more time. I need some work done, and I’ll pay you well for it.”
“In my experience, getting paid well is a relative term.”
The countess’s distaste was now fully apparent. “Is this the way you negotiate your fee for every job? I find it appalling.”
I shrugged. “I have any number of appalling traits… but I am a good PI.”
She looked at me appraisingly, her eyes squinting slightly. After a few moments, she turned her gaze back to the fire and spoke.
“If you prove to be as good as you think you are, I will pay you a thirty-thousand-dollar finder’s fee.”
Thirty thousand clams. Hmmm. That was a lot of seafood — a good bit more than I would have asked for. “Let me think about it… OK, I’ll do it.”
The countess nodded and turned toward me. “I thought you might. I’ll expect you to focus all your energies on this. The methods you use to retrieve the artifact are of no interest to me. But as more time elapses, the less likely it is that the item will be found.
For that reason I must require you to find it and return it to me within ten days. After that, the value of the artifact will decrease significantly, as will the finder’s fee.”
Ten days wasn’t much time, but this appeared to be a no-lose situation. I nodded to show that I was following along. The old woman narrowed her gaze. “I should also warn you against any thoughts of double-crossing me. The statuette is valuable to only an obscure handful of collectors. If you were to find it and try to sell it on your own, you would certainly fetch less than the fee I have offered.”
I’d never double-crossed a client, but the countess couldn’t know that, so I didn’t take offense. “I understand. Now, what exactly am I looking for?”
“The artifact is a statuette made from a rare crystalline substance. It is shaped somewhat in the form of a bird in flight. It is unmistakable and extremely rare — there is no other piece like it in the world. It has been in my family for countless generations and, as I said, it is extremely valuable. There are many collectors who would stop at nothing to own it. Whoever stole the statuette would likely have gone to the black market and offered it to the highest bidder.”
The countess produced a photograph from under her blanket and handed it to me. It was a poor-quality print, like a copy of a copy. She wasn’t giving me much of a head start.
“Is there anything else you can tell me? I could use a little more to go on. For starters, do you have any idea who stole it?”
The countess shook her head impatiently. “No, no. I’ve told you all I can. As I said, I don’t expect you to succeed in finding the statuette.”
That qualified as a double-dog dare in my book. I stood up, still holding my fedora, eager to get to work. “I’ll see what I can do. Pleasure to meet you, Countess.”
The old woman looked up at me, no expression on her face.
“I’d prefer that you not contact me until you have the statuette in your possession. I am not fond of receiving visitors under normal circumstances. But thank you for coming, Mr. Murphy. My valet will give you a retainer of one thousand dollars on your way out.
I assume that will be enough to get you started. Goodbye.”
I’d gone straight to work, looking up all my old connections in the seamy underbelly of the city. The countess had said that whoever had stolen the statuette would have gone to the black market. It sounded logical to me — the buying and selling of hot property was one of Old San Francisco’s leading enterprises. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the statuette had been heard of by even the low-grade parasites, who comprised most of my underworld contacts.
After spending three sleepless days and half of the M note, I met up with a small-time gangster named Franco Franco, who gave me a fair amount of information in exchange for a favor to be cashed in later. I wasn’t altogether comfortable with the arrangement, but I had twenty-nine thousand good reasons not to worry about it at the moment.
Franco passed along a name: Eddie Ching.
I asked around and found that most people experienced a strange form of amnesia when Ching’s name was mentioned. Luckily, there are plenty of cutthroats willing to do anything for money. Eventually, I got a lead and followed my nose to Mexico City.
Now here I was sitting pretty with the statuette in the bag and two days to spare.
“You all finished, honey?”
LaDonna had refilled the mug in my hand as stealthily as a pickpocket. My usual limit was three cups, but it would’ve been a shame to squander such stellar service. I took a sip as LaDonna removed my plate and silverware, then wiped down the table in one motion, leaving it as clean as it could ever hope to be. A bill lay damage-down in front of me with LaDonna’s loopy signature and a smiley face scrawled on it. I picked it up, pulled a twenty out of my wallet, and tucked them both under my mostly filled mug. I reached for my backpack and slid out of the booth. LaDonna smiled and waved busily as I pushed open the door and stepped out into the warm Brownsville night.