They hadn't talked about her fee. Tai knew the usual Kanlin rates, but had a feeling he also knew what she would say when that came up: something to do with her failure to be at Kuala Nor in time to save him, being required by honour to serve him now. He needed to learn more about that first woman at the lake: most importantly, who had sent her, and why.
He had a name—Yan had named their scholar friend Xin Lun—and Tai also had a growing apprehension about another.
The fee for Wei Song hardly mattered, in any case. He could afford a guard now. Or twenty. He could hire a private dui of fifty cavalry and dress them in chosen colours. He could borrow any sum he needed against the Sardian horses.
He was—no other way to shape the thought, no avoiding it—a wealthy man now. If he survived to deal with the horses in Xinan. If he sorted out how to deal with the horses.
His family had always been comfortable, but Shen Gao had been a fighting officer commanding in the field, not an ambitious one at court straining towards recognition and the prizes that came with it. Tai's older brother was different, but he wasn't ready to start thinking about Liu tonight.
His mind drifted back to the woman outside his door. That didn't lead him towards sleep, either. They'd put a pallet in the corridor for her. They'd be used to doing that. Guests of any stature would have servants outside or even inside this chamber. It just wasn't how he thought of himself. A guest of stature.
The other Kanlin—the rogue, according to Wei Song—had likely slept out there when Yan was in this same bed a few nights earlier.
You could look at that as symmetry, two well-balanced lines in a verse, or as something darker. This was life, not a poem, and Yan, loyal, gentle, almost always laughing, lay in a grave three days' ride back through the ravine.
West of Iron Gate, west of Jade Gate Pass,
There'll be no old friends.
For Tai, there would be one there forever now.
He listened, but heard nothing from the corridor. He couldn't remember if he'd barred the door. It hadn't been a habit for some time.
It had also been more than two years since he'd been close to a woman, let alone in the stillness after dark.
Against his will, he found himself picturing her: oval face, wide mouth, alert eyes, amusement in them under arching eyebrows. The eyebrows her own, not painted in the Xinan fashion. Or what had been the fashion two years ago. It had likely changed. It always changed. Wei Song was slender, with quick movements, long black hair. It had been unbound when first seen this morning.
Too much, that last recollection, for a man who'd been alone as long as he had.
His mind seemed to be sailing down moonlit river channels, pulled towards memory as to the sea. Unsurprisingly, he found himself thinking of Spring Rain's golden hair, also unbound, and then—unexpectedly—there was an image of a different woman entirely.
It was because of what he'd been told this afternoon, he suspected, that he found himself with a clear memory of the Precious Consort, the emperor's own dearly beloved concubine.
Wen Jian, the one time he'd seen her close: a jade-and-gold enchantment on a springtime afternoon in Long Lake Park. Laughing on horseback (a ripple in air, like birdsong), a shimmer about her, an aura. Appallingly desirable. Unattainable. Not even safe for dreaming about or reveries.
And her handsome, silken-smooth cousin, he had learned today, was now first minister of the empire. Had been since autumn.
Not a good man to have as a rival for a woman.
If Tai was even halfway intelligent, in possession of the most basic self-preservation instincts, he told himself, he would stop thinking about Spring Rain and her scent and skin and voice right now, long before he came anywhere near to Xinan.
Not easily done.
She was from Sardia, as the horses were. Objects of desire, coming as so many precious things seemed to do, from the west.
It was another existence entirely, this world of men and women and desire, Tai thought, lying in darkness at the empire's edge. That truth was beginning to come back, along with so much else. One more aspect of what he was returning to.
It was unsettling, pushed away sleep, twisting with all the other disturbances in his mind like silkworm threads inattentively spooled. And he was still on the border, in a back-of-beyond fortress. What was going to happen as he rode east on his bay-coloured Sardian to the brilliant, deadly world of the court?
He turned restlessly, hearing the mattress and bedposts creak. He wished there were a window. He could stand there, draw breaths of clear air, look up at summer stars, seek order and answers in the sky. As above, so below, we are a mirror in our lives of the nine heavens.
He felt confined in here, fought an apprehension of permanent enclosure, restraint, death. Someone had tried to kill him, before they'd known about the horses. Why? Why would he have been important enough to kill?
Abruptly he sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed. Sleep was vanishingly far away.
"I can bring you water, or wine."
Her hearing had to be extremely good, and she couldn't have been asleep.
"You are a guard, not a servant," he said, through the closed door.
He heard her laughter. "I have been retained by people who saw little distinction."
"I am not one of those."
"Ah. I shall light an ancestor candle in gratitude."
Gods above! He wasn't ready for this.
"Go to sleep," Tai said. "We start early."
Laughter again. "I'll be awake," she said. "But if you can't sleep because of fears tonight, you'll slow us down tomorrow."
He really wasn't ready for this.
There was a silence. Tai was acutely aware of her presence out there. After a moment he heard her say, "Forgive me, that was presumptuous. Accept that I am bowing to you. Respectfully, however, might you have declined the princess's gift?"
He had been thinking the same thing for three days. That didn't make it easier to hear someone else ask it.
"I couldn't," he said.
It was odd, talking through door and wall. Someone could be listening, easily enough. He doubted it, however. Not here. "They were offered to me by royalty. You can't refuse."
"I wouldn't know. Her gift will probably kill you."
"I am aware of that," Tai said.
"It is a terrible thing to do to someone."
Youth in the voice now, in that aggrieved sense of injustice, but her words were true, after a fashion. The princess would not have meant for that to happen. It would not even have occurred to her that it might.
"They know nothing of balance," Wei Song said from the corridor. She was Kanlin: balance was the essence of their teaching.
"The Tagurans, you mean?"
"No. Royalty. Everywhere."
He thought about it. "I think being royal means you need not think that way."
Another silence. He had a sense of her working it through. She said, "We are taught that the emperor in Xinan echoes heaven, rules with its mandate. Balance above echoed below, or the empire falls. No?"
His own thought, from moments before.
There were women in the North District—not many, but a few—who could talk this way over wine or after lovemaking. He hadn't expected it here, in a Kanlin guard.
He said, "I mean it differently. About how they think. Why should our princess in Rygyal, or any prince, have an idea what might happen to a common man if he is given a gift this extravagant? What in their lives allows them to imagine that?"
"Oh. Yes."