I had to make sure to keep my bad arm down as I nodded at her. "It feels really weird." More like gross but I didn't want to be completely rude.
Dex's mom snorted. "Every time we come out here, I have to pray that the water isn't too hot. I don't feel like getting some flesh-eating virus."
And, I stopped walking. "What?"
"You didn't hear about the cases these last few years?"
"No...” Holy crap, I started walking backward slowly.
Debra laughed and waved me forward. "Don't worry about it. Lisa made sure with the ranger that the water was over eighty degrees before we came."
I was still tempted to get out but I didn't want to seem like a big baby. Crap. I mean, I kind of liked my arms and legs.
"Trust me," she snorted.
I was left with no other choice but to trust her as we swam out to the floating dock not too far away. I was a little glad she wasn't in the mood to talk as I hoisted myself up onto the edge while she treaded water nearby. My head did hurt but I knew it was more because I felt a little disappointed than anything else.
"Are you healthy now?"
The question was like a punch to the gut. "Hmm?"
Her head bobbed just ten feet away from the dock, she tipped it toward me. "Your cancer. Is it all gone now?"
Blood rushed to my face like there was a fire it was trying to get away from, and my mind went reeling right along with it. I shouldn't be surprised that she knew. If I gave myself more than ten seconds to take in her question, I would probably think about the fact that she'd been involved in the Club long enough to remember hearing about me as a kid.
But answering her still didn't seem natural. "Yes. I've been in remission for almost six years now."
"Good." She smiled wide like I'd just told her that I'd bought a new car. "No one's said anything about it, so I figured you were probably one-hundred percent again."
"I'm okay." I returned her smile, even moving my arm a little so that she could see a hint of the scarring. When the hell was the last time I showed it to someone? I couldn't remember. "Thank you for asking though."
Debra winked. "Glad to hear that. Dex been treating you okay?"
Now that made me snort. Why did everyone always ask a variation of the same question? "Except for his little temper tantrums, he's been good." I was tempted to say very good to me but luckily I managed not to. It just sounded dirty in my head.
And I'm surprised to have been disappointed that it wasn't like that at all.
"I'm even more glad to hear that. I love that boy—," like Dex could still be considered a boy. Ha. "But I know how he is. I'm sorry to say he gets that shitty temper from me and his pa."
What do you say to something like that? It's okay? No. Absolutely not.
Thankfully she wasn't expecting an answer. "That's just about all he gets from his pa." The tight laugh was so bitter I definitely didn't know what to say afterward. I understood what she meant. I had an idea of what his father was like after Houston and I think Dex needed to hear that even his mom didn't see him in the same light.
"MA!" someone yelled from the shore.
Lisa, Dex's sister, stood on the beach, tossing towels at the kids around her.
"Food's ready!" she yelled again, not bothering to look up.
We both silently agreed to get out of the water. I dropped back in and swam slowly to shore alongside Dex's mom. I was only going to have this one chance to say something. “Debra?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think Dex knows I was sick, and I haven’t exactly got around to telling him.” So please don’t say anything, I begged her with my eyes.
There was no hesitation in her answer. She nodded immediately. “Got it. That’s your business, honey.”
I smiled at her tightly, giving her a brief nod. “I’m going to tell him, I just haven’t yet.”
“Okay.” She tipped her chin down a millimeter. “Make sure you tell him though, whenever you’re ready. He’s never been good with surprises, just to warn you.”
Her warning felt ominous but her face was open and honest. I mumbled something to her that meant nothing and was easily forgotten.
Lisa stood off to the side, herding the group of kids toward the picnic tables over the sloped terrain. Regardless of whether the oldest Locke knew about my cancer treatment or not, I was conscious to keep my arm straight against me as I walked toward my towel, reaching up only to wring out my wet hair.
"Meet you over there," Debra said. She hadn't brought her towel down when she came up to me, so I figured she needed to grab one. Besides the remaining kids and Lisa, there was no one else on the beach. Not that I blamed anyone for avoiding the lake.
Just as I reached down to grab my towel, I happened to look over in the direction of the picnic tables to see most of the group standing around the two tables in the center. Just off to the side of those standing was Dex.
He faced me, hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, facial expression blank.
But he stared—at me.
For what felt like the longest but was more than likely just a few seconds, I watched him back, and then I waved. He didn't wave in return but it didn't matter. He stood there, completely still, watching.
Okay. I grabbed the towel on the sand and shook it out before drying off. I got as dry as I could, pulled the dress on again and shoved my legs into my shorts. When I glanced back up, Dex wasn't there anymore. Thank God.
I rolled my wet towel under my arm and made my way slowly toward the group. There were so many people milling around, trying to get a little of everything from the buffet laid out that there was no rush to sit down. There were too many of us to all fit and since I was one of the youngest besides the kids, and not really family, I figured that I should be one of the people that got stuck standing up to eat, or sitting on the ground.
"What the fu—I mean, hell is this?" I heard one of the Widows ask as he stood over the table, picking at something I couldn't see.
Marie, Dex's other sister that looked like a female replica of her brother, nudged the man over. "Black bean burgers."
"Black bean burgers?" His tone was part disgust, part outrage. "Who the fu—hell eats that?"
Lord. I hadn't heard that in a while.
"Iris doesn't eat meat," Marie answered him.
The Widow scoffed, moving around the table with his plate held high. I was off to the side, behind a couple I recognized from Mayhem, so I knew he couldn't see me. Or maybe he was just one of those people who didn't give a crap. "Who doesn't eat meat?" A dumb question, obviously. "God gave us all these teeth so that we could eat hamburgers, chicken, meat. Not no damn black bean burgers."
The urge to correct him of his ignorance buried itself in my throat, but I was used to it. I was used to people saying things that weren't correct at all. Like this guy. Whatever.
But apparently, just because I kept my mouth shut didn't mean that everyone else did the same.
"How about you just shut up and eat your hamburgers and watch your cholesterol go up, Pete? She can eat whatever she wants to eat without hearin' you babble off your stupid shit."
Oh. Boy. It was Dex. Dex that I hadn't seen sitting at the fourth table.
"Language!" Marie snapped, smiling right before she turned around.
"I'm just saying." The guy I figured was named Pete had his face turn red.
"Nobody cares," Dex cut him off. "Ritz, come eat."
And then, awkwardness descended. The Pete guy finally realized that I was standing pretty much right by him but he had the decency to look a bit ashamed. Not much but something was better than nothing.