“Fuck you.”
“Are they always this awful to each other?” Holly asks Ally.
“Yes,” Ally responds without hesitation.
“Delightful.” Holly turns to Liam. “So, Liam, Josh tells me you have a callback for Lassiter tomorrow. How the hell did Evan Cooper score that?”
Liam narrows his eyes at me. “You didn’t tell her Coop had nothing to do with it? What’d you do, Chester, make her feel like crap for not getting you an audition you didn’t even want in the first place?” He turns to Holly. “We met Lassiter in a club. And I’m better-looking and a better actor than Josh. That’s it.”
“And Mickey Davis is gonna let you do this?” she asks, referring to Daylight Falls’ showrunner.
“I have no idea.” He mops off his face with a towel, then takes a long drink of the shake. “Haven’t gotten that far yet. You know Mickey, though. Think I got a shot?”
“Depends on their plans for you this season. How’s your storyline?”
“I surf. I hook up with Bailey, then cheat on Bailey, then get caught, then hook up with her again. Oh, and I surf some more. It’s all very exciting. Clearly, I’m indispensable.”
Everyone’s quiet for a moment, and then Ally snaps her fingers. “Okay, I know Van’s gonna kill me for suggesting this, but I think I might have a slightly brilliant idea.” She turns to Liam. “What if you got a guest star to be a love interest for Bailey? Like, a multi-episode arc? Would they let you go then?”
Liam shrugs. “It’s not impossible, I guess.”
“No, definitely not,” I agree, taking a sip from my own shake. “But if you write off or de-bang-ify a show’s biggest piece of ass, you have to provide a replacement of equal or greater bangability. So, who?”
Uh oh. She’s turning scary, determined Ally face on me. “You.”
“Me?”
“You.” She turns to Holly. “He doesn’t actually have any work lined up right now, does he?”
“No, he does not,” Holly confirms, her voice sweet, as if she’s not pissed I screwed up that one audition and then refused to go to any others. “But TV…”
“What’s wrong with TV?” Ally asks bluntly, cutting a glance at Liam.
“It’s a lesser form of entertainment,” Liam informs her, rolling his eyes. “Clearly, you’re just blind to my pathetic-ness because you like my body.”
“Oh, man, this is awkward. I’m not sure if I still want to make out with you after this.” She taps her mouth thoughtfully. “No, wait, I definitely do.”
Holly ignores them both. “If you’d just read one of the scripts I brought you at dinner—”
“I’ve read them,” says Ally. “Which one of those is a higher form of entertainment, exactly? The one where he’d have to play a prince in a complete crap-fest of a misogynistic Disney-wannabe movie? Or the absurdly pseudo-intellectual one that subtly advocates for eugenics?”
My eyebrows shoot up faster than my dick at the Playboy mansion. Ally must really want this for Liam; she never talks that much shit about potential projects on the table.
Holly scowls. “I think you’d better leave decisions about his projects to your boss.”
“I don’t know; I think I just made my decisions about those.” I grin at Holly before pouring half the shake down my throat. Sometimes it’s easier just to get rid of all the shit at once.
She smiles tightly. “Okay, then. I’ll send you some more tomorrow.” She stands, and Ally immediately steps aside, as if removing any obstacles to the door will get Holly out faster. Their passive-aggressive smile-off is a thing of beauty as Holly sees herself out.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Liam says, amused. “Thanks for the shake, by the way.”
“Is it as gross as it looks?”
“Worse.” He takes a final sip and tosses it in the trash, then turns to me. “I gotta go. But are you really interested in a guest arc? I could talk to Mickey.”
I still haven’t really processed the idea, but I know if it helps him out, I’d at least consider it. Especially since his costar, Zoe Knight, is semi-hot, and I haven’t tapped her yet. “You think it’ll help you be able to take the Lassiter part if you get it?”
“No clue. I’ll let you know how it goes. Can I jump in the shower before I head out?”
“You better. Don’t need your car smelling like BO next time I’m in it.” I wait until he’s closed the door to my personal locker room and run the shower, and then I turn to Ally. “You really think this is a better idea than doing one of those movies? Or are you just trying to make your boyfriend happy?”
“I think you need something to do that’ll keep your mom’s reality show crew away from you during the day, and you care more about helping Liam than you do what role you take on next,” she says coolly. “And, frankly, it’s a whole lot harder for you to screw this up. I think it’s what you need to ease you back in.”
She’s right, on all counts. “Fine. Set it up,” I say, tossing my own cup in the trash. “And don’t let Holly give you shit.”
“So we’ll see you back here Monday morning for a table-read with a draft of a new script.” Mickey Davis doesn’t stand up at the end of our meeting, but it’s hard to blame him since he’s got a pooch so big it must be tough to carry around. Instead, he sticks out his fleshy hand, and I shake it as I get up. Liam had warned me Davis wasn’t too thrilled he’d landed the Lassiter role, but he seems A-OK now. The Josh Chester Charm strikes again.
“Sounds great. Looking forward to it.” I slip on sunglasses and let his assistant lead me outside, checking my phone to see if Ronen’s left me a text about where he’s at. Instead, I’ve got one from Holly.
Told your driver I’d be getting you instead. I’m in the lot.
I spot her almost immediately when I step outside by the way her unnaturally black hair gleams in the sun. She’s standing up against the car, typing like crazy on her phone, but she looks up when I get close enough to block her sunlight.
“Hey,” she says, slipping the phone into her purse. “How’d it go?”
“Great. We’re gonna try it out. He’s having writers come up with spec scripts to see about fitting me in as a love interest for Bailey while she and Tristan are on breakup number four thousand.”
Holly eyes me blankly.
“Tristan is Liam’s part on the show. Bailey is Vanessa Park’s. Christ, have you not even watched it?”
“I don’t watch TV.” She turns back to the phone, starts typing again.
“Because it’s a lesser form of entertainment?”
“Because I’m busy.” She reaches for the driver’s-side door handle. “Rob bumped up your interview to five minutes ago, so we gotta—”
“Chester! Hey! Is this your new girlfriend?”
“Hey! Girlfriend! What’s your name?”
I hadn’t spotted them before, but suddenly, paparazzi come rushing over, and I realize there are some random pedestrians taking pictures of me, too. I instantly put on a smile and wave for the cameras, blowing kisses at an old woman and the aide with her who’s eye-fucking me. Then I feel claws on my arm and turn to see Holly’s face has gone completely white.
“What the hell?” she whispers fiercely. “We gotta go. Get in the car.”
“Chill out.” I unclasp her sharp nails from my arm and take the autograph book a little girl’s holding out to me, eyeing Holly as I sign my name. “This is part of the job. They’re fans. Just smile and wave.”
“But…” Christ, she looks so freaked out. For all her trying to be cool and professional, this is clearly an area of the business she hasn’t encountered before. Guess that’s what happens when your biggest client is, well, me.