“Zander’s probably getting tired of me monopolizing your time, anyway,” she says with a laugh, and I force a smile, too, even though it comes out kinda grimace-like. If Zander minds that we haven’t been spending much time together, he hasn’t said a word. And I certainly haven’t been missing him.
Maybe that’s the problem. I’ve been so desperate to find a new friend to make up for the fact that Ally’s gone, I haven’t been paying any attention to the boyfriend right in front of me. Making plans with Zander is exactly what I should be doing for tonight. And tomorrow night. And maybe the night after that.
So what if we didn’t exactly get together because of “feelings”? Doesn’t mean we can’t start working on it now.
“Zander’s been a trooper,” I say, “but you’re right — he’ll definitely be happy to have a little more ‘us’ time. And actually, one of his bandmates is having a party tonight”—one I’d made a zillion excuses to avoid because they always turn into really cheesy a capella sing-alongs—“and he’ll be happy to hear I can make it now.”
“Perfect! Well, we’ll just do it another time then.” She glances at her watch. “Actually, I should probably head out now. If Jade asks, I was here until four.” She readjusts her messenger bag, then meets my eyes in the mirror. “Will I see you at Bikram on Thursday night?”
I debate saying I might be busy with Zander then, too, just to show her how much I don’t care about her blowing me off, but lying feels a little pathetic. “I never miss it,” I say neutrally instead.
“Well, then, I’ll see you there.”
I watch her wave in the makeup mirror, and then I watch her walk away.
“Well, somebody’s in a sunshine-y mood,” Josh observes when I return to set to try the scene again.
Trust Josh to observe my crankiness the second I drop the fake smile I’d pasted on for Brianna’s sake. “Somebody wishes she didn’t have Hollywood’s biggest sociopath trying to move in on her show,” I correct him. “And if you think I’m okay with the fact that I have to subject myself to your diseased mouth for this next scene, you’re out of your freaking mind. I hope you at least had the courtesy to gargle mouthwash during this break.”
“Funny, I didn’t see you gargling anything but your drool over me,” Josh says casually, “so let’s call it even.”
Have I mentioned I loathe Josh Chester?
“All right, everyone, places!” I force myself to re-inhabit Bailey’s body and let her inhabit mine as we get into places for the next scene, an infuriating one in which Josh’s natural smugness will be quite the asset. In fact, he’s pretty spot on with his character, Luke — an egomaniacal jackass who gets everything he wants. The difference is, Luke and Bailey are totally into each other.
Josh and I would rather die.
I practiced these lines a thousand times on my treadmill at home last night, and they come back to me with ease now. “You need to stop chasing me, Luke. Accept that I’m not yours and I’m never gonna be yours.”
“Accept that?” Josh-as-Luke spits, his amber eyes flashing. “Why should I accept that when deep down, you haven’t?”
For some reason, Brianna pops in my head just then. I quickly replace the image with Zander, and realize that’s no better. I just need to clear my mind and stop letting Josh get to me.
“You have no idea what I think,” I return, letting my voice quiver a little. Bailey’s a bit of a drama queen — nothing like me in real life. “You have no idea how I feel.”
“Oh, I know how you feel,” Josh-as-Luke says, stepping closer, close enough that I can smell the cinnamon gum on his breath that proves he did prepare for this scene, at least a little bit. He reaches out and strokes my cheek, his fingertips caressing my jaw. “I know exactly how you feel.”
And then he pulls me close and kisses me, just as the script demands. I tell myself to imagine it’s Zander’s mouth on mine, but that’s not helping me muster up the enthusiasm I need. Especially since I’m all too aware of Brianna’s laser-green eyes on me, imagining those lips in their naturally smug curve—
I don’t even realize I’ve opened my mouth until I get the strong, sharp taste of cinnamon on my tongue, and I shove him away. I’m grateful we’re still in mid-scene, because I know Josh would be grinning at me like a wolf if we weren’t, sure I’d succumbed to his charms, ignorant of the fact that I’d forgotten I was kissing him at all. But he’s Luke now, not Josh, and his face flashes with hurt and confusion and heat instead.
“You want me,” he says determinedly. “I know you do. And you may think you want Monroe, but he’ll never kiss you like I do. So before you decide to toss me aside for that surf bum, you better be sure you’re okay with losing what you’re giving up.” One more hard kiss, and then he walks out.
Cut.
Everyone seems pretty pleased with the scene, but of course, we have to film it again. We get back into place, and as we do, I catch a glimpse of Brianna standing next to an empty chair, thumbs tucked into the belt loops of her denim miniskirt, jaw clenched tight until she notices me noticing her.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say she wasn’t all that thrilled with that scene.
And for some reason, that gets me excited to do it all over again.
“You and Josh have some pretty crazy chemistry,” Carly observes as the two of us walk back to the trailer we share once filming is done for the day. “Is this one of those things where you guys pretend to hate each other when you’re actually totally in love?”
I snort. “Trust me when I say there are no positive feelings between me and Josh, unless you count that he throws good parties. That, I’ll give him.”
As if just talking about him summoned the devil, I feel a hand clap me on the shoulder, and turn to see another one land on Carly’s. “Ladies,” Josh says genially.
“Lord Douchington,” I reply with a nod of my head. “Don’t you think you’ve touched me enough today?” I pry his fingers from my shoulder. “What do you want?”
He grins, not remotely affected by any of my insults, which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. “Actually, I have a question for you.” He nods toward my half of the trailer. “May I?”
“If the question is whether I’ll sleep with you, the answer is going to be vomit on your shoes. I’m warning you now.”
Carly laughs and flutterwaves goodbye as she disappears into her half, and I reluctantly let Josh in to mine. “What is it?” I sit down at the mirror and douse some cotton balls in makeup remover, anxious to get this crap off my face.
He coughs. “I…I need your help with something.”
“If you think I’m gonna run lines with you right now, after all the ad-libbing you did in there, you’re crazy.”
“Oh, please — like my lines weren’t a thousand times better than the cheesy shit they write for us. But no, this has nothing to do with the show. This is more assistance of the…parental-pleasing variety. As in, I have no idea how to, and I kind of need to. At dinner. Tonight.”
He looks so convinced that this is something I actually have vast experience in that I almost feel bad laughing at his face in the mirror. Almost. “Oh, you’re serious,” I say after a minute, wiping my eyes. “Josh, if I was capable of pleasing parents, trust me, I’d be doing it. My parents think I’m just as much of a waste of space as yours probably do.”