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What the hell — if the girls can enjoy this, so can I.

“You ladies gonna sit?” I pat my lap. “There’s plenty of room for everyone.”

Shannah wrinkles her nose — as much as she possibly can, given it’s her third. “I don’t share,” she says coldly. “Are you gonna get me a drink?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” I say honestly. Van and Brianna crack up at that, and the fact that they’re both a few sips in to whatever Royce brought them probably helps. “You should totally get something, though. Actually, could you get me another Jack and Coke?” I glance at the camera guy. “And, by that, I mean a Coke. Because I am nineteen. And drinking alcohol is both illegal and irresponsible.”

Van and Brianna crack up again, and I can’t help grinning as Shannah fumes. “God, you know, this is why I broke up with you for Garrett,” she snaps. “You’re so freaking immature.”

“Garrett got arrested for wagging his dick out of a limo window,” I remind her. “Pretty sure I’m still winning this contest.”

She shoots me a disgusted look and turns on her heel, with Kaia following her to the bar. Natasha winks at me and licks her lips before following.

“That’s so great that your friends could come join us!” Bri gushes, taking another sip of her drink and settling into the arm Royce drapes around her shoulder. “They seem really sweet.”

“Shannah’s great,” Van says enthusiastically. “Remember how nice she was after she got caught yelling at that fan? So sweet.”

“And she seems to really like you, Josh.” Bri covers my hand with hers, which is cold and damp from her sweating glass. “When she’s not being a little jealous of this one over here.” She nudges her shoulder into Vanessa’s side, and Van laughs and nudges her back harder, almost spilling both their drinks. They crack up, and I’d think they were hammered, but they still haven’t had all that much.

“Well, how could anyone not be jealous of K-dra — Vanessa? I mean, look at all that natural grace right there.”

She sticks her tongue out at me.

“See what I mean?” I wrap my hand around her glass and help myself to a sip. It’s a vodka tonic, light on tonic.

“Of course, this one’s taken,” Royce points out, tipping his own glass at K-drama. “Where’s your boyfriend, anyway? How come he never hangs out with us?”

Oh, shit. I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to mention Zander. Though, watching the way her face screws up at the mention, I’m glad I didn’t. Bri looks a little weird about it, too, and I wonder if Jade’ll be pissed that her golden boy client was mentioned around the likes of me.

“He’s got a tour coming up — needs to protect his vocal chords,” Van says after a minute, then nabs her glass back and takes a long drink, bypassing the straw. Around us, the song changes, and she laughs. “Speaking of which…”

It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if Chuck was behind having the Wonder Boys’ newest hit, “My Girl, My Woman,” play at this exact moment. Even when he’s not here, Zander Wilson is everywhere.

“We should dance.” Royce tosses back the rest of his drink and holds out a hand to Bri. “I think Park’s boy toy would appreciate it.”

“I bet he would,” says Bri. She takes one last long drink and then plucks a cherry from the glass, sliding it between her lips as she follows him out to the dance floor.

I watch K-drama watch them go, and I wonder if she really is down about the fact that her boyfriend isn’t here. She definitely looks…something.

And I definitely need more alcohol.

Reaching up the back of my shirt, I flick off my microphone and gesture for Van to do the same. Chuck starts to protest, but I hold out the mic and say, “I think you guys got enough for now, don’t you? Why don’t you all take a break and let me get a fucking drink or twelve.”

To my surprise, Chuck agrees, though instead of disappearing, they just focus on Shannah whispering in a corner with the other chicks. Whatever. I don’t give a shit what they do; I just know I need a drink, and I’m willing to bet K-drama can be convinced to do a shot with me.

It takes even less urging than I expect, and we grab Royce and Bri from the floor and do a round of shots — to Zander, despite Vanessa’s eye-rolling — before finally just dancing and chilling out.

I’ll say one thing for K-drama — the girl’s pretty damn good on the dance floor. As the Wonder Boys’ track transitions into Beyoncé, she lightens up, and before long, she’s filled with just the right amount of tipsy energy. People start to crowd around and watch as she rolls her body against mine, waves her hands in the air, and sings along to the music. Her voice is pretty terrible, but she’s having so much fun that no one even cares.

It’s kind of awesome to watch her letting go like that. Not that I’ve never seen her have fun before, but right now, she looks…like she’s glowing or something. Royce has nudged Bri closer to make the two girls dance up on each other, and if she minds being sandwiched between us, it doesn’t show. I’m certainly not complaining about the view down Bri’s top, but the truth is, I kinda want them to disappear. I kinda want everyone to disappear. For weeks I’ve been feeling like everything is spinning, and right now, Van’s hips beneath my hands, even as they rock to the music, feel like exactly the stability I need to keep myself grounded, just for a night.

Doesn’t hurt that her hair smells really fucking good. Sweet. Like strawberries or something.

Fingers brush mine, and I look down to see that Bri’s now got a hand on Van’s waist, too. She’s pulling her closer, and I’m doing the same, and we end up merging like an Oreo while Royce whistles. I’m pretty sure the cameras are on us, but I don’t give a shit. I don’t give a shit about anything. Right now, all I want is the scent of strawberries in my nose, the sound of her crappy singing in my ear, and her little body beneath my hands.

I don’t wanna think about Chuck. I don’t wanna think about my mother. I don’t wanna think about my shitty future.

And I don’t wanna think about what it means that I don’t wanna let go of Vanessa Park at the end of the night.

Chapter Sixteen

Vanessa

I don’t even know how many songs I dance sandwiched between Bri and Josh, watching the flashing lights and singing along. I feel drunk on pure adrenaline, though I know there’s some vodka mixed in there. There are flashbulbs going off, and I know I’ll see myself on websites tomorrow if I spend two seconds looking, but I don’t care.

Zander would hate this.

Jade will kill me.

I don’t care. About either of them. Any of it. In front of me, Josh looks like he’s having every bit as much fun as I am. Behind me, Bri seems to be enjoying herself, too. Every few seconds, I feel her hair or breasts graze my back, her breath on my ear, and my brain short-circuits.

Royce must be saying something to her I can’t hear because she cracks up laughing, unconsciously tightening her grip on my waist and pulling me close. My mouth goes dry, and I grip Josh’s shoulders and say, “I need to grab some water.”

“I’ll come with—”

“Aww, were you leaving?” Shannah swoops in like she has some crazy radar detector. “Make sure you send my love to Zander.” There’s so much insincerity dripping from her voice I have to walk carefully to make sure I don’t slip in it.

“Wait up,” Bri calls, and I do. “Didn’t even realize how thirsty I was until I saw you heading to the bar.”

I glance at her, wondering if I’m imagining the extra meaning that seems loaded into that sentence. She’s not looking at me, but the quirk of her lips suggests that I’m not.