A single tear leaks out of one eye, and I swipe it away quickly. So freaking embarrassing to lose my shit here while Bri is walking out for the last time, all confident and noble and sure in what she wants. Another tear spills from the other eye, but Bri reaches out to wipe it away before I can.
I don’t even know I’m going to kiss her until I do. But her hand is on my face, and her touch is so gentle, and she’s so close, and I just do it. Just for a moment. And then I pull back like I’ve been burned, because I know I’m being unfair, and wrong, and she just said she didn’t want this. But her fingers tangle in my hair as she pulls me back and it’s not just me, it’s her, and it’s us, and obviously, neither of us is ready to say goodbye just yet.
Chapter Twenty-One
Josh
The sunshine feels awful in my eyes as I let myself out of the house, but there’s no sign of K-drama anywhere. Bri’s car’s still in the driveway, which makes me think she’s in the guest house, and I wonder if she’s fallen asleep. Can’t really blame her, given that I woke her up at the ass-crack of dawn. I probably have to let her yell at me now, but I’m hoping she’ll take pity on my hangover and let it go this time.
As if that’s likely.
When I approach the guest house, I catch a glimpse of her through the glass doors. She’s definitely not in bed. And then I see a pair of pale legs and I realize she’s not alone, either. Bri must still be here, which means whatever their fight was, it was probably pretty bad. Not such a shock, considering Bri’s the spawn of Satan. She seems okay as far as I can tell, but no one who sprang from Jade Harris’s loins can be certifiably sane.
I’m still out of visibility for both girls, and out of curiosity, I stay that way. It looks like Bri’s leaving, but I can’t read the look on her face. What the hell is up with—
My brain short-circuits completely as K-drama suddenly…kisses her. Full on the mouth. Exactly the kind of thing fantasies are made of, except when it’s the girl you want laying it on someone who’s not you.
They part, but only for a second, and I don’t even know how long they go on for, but I can’t tear my eyes off of them. But as suddenly as it started, Bri yanks herself away and bolts for the door. It hits me a second too late that she’s about to spot me, and though I jump out of the way, I’m not fast enough. Her face pales when she sees me, and her mouth drops open. For a second, I think she’s gonna run, but all she does is join me out of Vanessa’s eyeline.
“That…that wasn’t what you think,” she says. “I mean, I don’t know what you saw. If you even saw anything.” She buries her face in her hands. “Christ.”
“Yeah, definitely sounds like there was nothing going on,” I say. My voice sounds even dryer than usual, and I’m glad she doesn’t know me well enough to tell something’s wrong. “Why don’t you explain, then?”
“It wasn’t anything. It just happened, and it doesn’t mean anything. We’re friends, okay?”
I hold up my hands. “Sure, if that’s your story. I wouldn’t say that seemed particularly friendly, though.”
“Josh.” She bites her lip, and it looks borderline painful. “You can’t tell her — or anyone else — that you saw that. Please tell me you won’t say a word to her. Just forget it, okay? I’m begging you.”
My eyebrows shoot up, and I realize there is far more going on here than I thought. But it’s clear I’m not going to get any answers from Bri, and honestly, all I really want is to talk to K-drama, so I just nod curtly. “I won’t,” I say, meaning it.
“Thank you.” There’s so much relief in the way her shoulders slump that I can’t help wondering what the hell I’ve missed. “I gotta run. Thanks for, uh…” I guess she remembers then that I haven’t done shit but drag her out of her house to come pick me up from the cops. “I’ll see ya.” And then she’s off, and I glance back toward the guest house.
Vanessa’s sitting on the bed now, her mouth drawn into a frown. She rubs her lower lip with her thumb, like she’s trying to seal in that kiss, and my stomach roils again as I approach the house and open the door. I’m dying to ask what the hell I just saw, but one close-up look at her face and I already know — Bri’s the person she’s into. Not Zander. Certainly not me.
A chick.
What. The. Hell.
She looks up in surprise at the sound of the doors opening, and I watch her quickly arrange her face into a bland expression she totally doesn’t pull off.
“How’d everything go with Mini-Jade?” I force myself to ask.
“Okay, I guess. Thanks for that.” She smiles weakly, and it’s kind of heartbreaking. Christ. She is seriously into that girl. “Guessing you didn’t get any sleep.”
“Nah, too hungry. I figured I’d check and see if you wanted to grab some food.” At least, that’d been my original plan when I came to the house. Now I don’t have much of an appetite, but I’m dying to get out of this place.
She laughs, and it’s the saddest fucking sound in the world. “Can you even imagine the shitshow if we were spotted out together now? God, I can’t. Between the paparazzi at the police station and the whole mess with Zander…I need to go home, Josh. If I even still have a home, because I’m pretty sure the second I see my mother, she’s going to kill me. All the gossip about me right now…”
She has a point that it sucks to be her. I can do whatever the fuck I want, and no one will care by the next week, but kids actually look up to her. She has parents she cares about pleasing. She has fans who aren’t utterly depraved.
And apparently, she isn’t who any of them think she is.
I sit down next to her on the bed as she drops her head into her hands. “The thing is, K-drama, sometimes you just have to accept that no one else’s opinion means shit, you know? Sometimes you just have to do what makes you happy and say fuck everyone else.”
Somehow, that only seems to make her sadder. “Yeah, well. Maybe someday I’ll be able to do that, but that day isn’t today.” She braces her hands on her thighs and stands. “It’s been quite the adventure, but I really do have to get home. Think you could get me a cab? My ride kinda checked outta here.”
She doesn’t offer why Bri left, and I don’t ask. I whip out my phone. “I should probably go see Liam, anyway,” I mutter as I dial. “I don’t remember a lot from last night, but I’m pretty sure I was a raging asshole to him.”
“You? Never.”
“Funny, K-drama. Come on. Let’s go.”
We fix ourselves up and meet the cab out front. It’s been a really shitty day for both of us, and it’s pretty clear it’s only gonna go downhill from here.
It takes a shit-ton of time to find Liam that afternoon. For one thing, the set’s in the middle of fucking nowhere, which is exactly what they’re going for, given that it’s an army movie. For another, it’s a sea of actors in camouflage — even guys I’ve known forever are looking alike to me right now.
He’s sitting in a chair, looking over the script with — shock of all shocks — his abs on prominent display. He’s sweaty and dirty and staring at the pages with a kind of focus I don’t possess on my best day. He doesn’t even notice me until I’m practically on top of him, casting a shadow on the sides. Then he finally looks up, blinks, and says, “Chester?”
“Hey.” I glare at the actor next to him until he rolls his eyes and vacates his seat, and then I slide in next to Liam. “Thought I should probably track you down and apologize for being a dick yesterday. It wasn’t my finest hour.”
He raises an eyebrow. “It definitely wasn’t, but you apologizing might be. Did you seriously come all the way down here just to say that? A text would’ve been fine.”