Cotter can barely get out the words.
"What good does it do to tie the score if you're going to turn around and let them walk all over you?"
Bill says, "They're going into that dugout and I guarantee you they're not giving up. There's no quit in this team. Don't pull a long face on me, Cotter. We're buddies in bad times-gotta stick together."
Cotter feels a mood coming on, a complicated self-pity, the strength going out of his arms and a voice commencing in his head that reproaches him for caring. And the awful part is that he wallows in it. He knows how to find the twisty compensation in this business of losing, being a loser, drawing it out, expanding it, making it sickly sweet, being someone carefully chosen for the role.
The score is 4-1.
It should have rained in the third or fourth inning. Great rain drenching down. It should have thundered and lightning'd.
Bill says, "I'm still a believer. What about you?"
The pitcher takes off his cap and rubs his forearm across his hairline. Big Newk. Then he blows in the cap. Then he shakes the cap and puts it back on.
Shor looks at Gleason.
"Still making with the mouth. Leave the people alone already. They came here to see a game."
"What game? It's a lambasting. We ought to go home."
"We're not going home," Toots says.
Jackie says, "We can beat the crowd, clamhead."
Frank says, "Let's take a vote."
Toots says, "You're tubercular in the face. Sit back and watch the game. Because nobody goes until I go and I ain't going."
Jackie waves down a vendor and orders beer all around. Nothing happens in the home half of the eighth. People are moving toward the exit ramps. It is Erskine and Branca in the bullpen now with the odd paper shaving dropped from the upper deck. Dodgers go down in the top of the ninth and this is when you sense a helpless scattering, it is tastable in the air, audible in the lone-wolf calls from high in the stands. Nothing you've put into this is recoverable and you don't know whether you want to leave at once or stay forever, living under a blanket in the wind.
Engineer says, "Nice season, boys. Let's do it again sometime."
The closeness in the booth, all this crammed maleness is making Russ a little edgy. He lights another cigarette and for the first time all day he does not reproach himself for it. He hears the solitary wailing, he hears his statistician reciting numbers in fake French. It is all part of the same thing, the feeling of some collapsible fact that's folded up and put away, and the school gloom that traces back for decades-the last laden day of summer vacation when the range of play tapers to a screwturn. This is the day he has never shaken off, the final Sunday before the first Monday of school. It carried some queer deep shadow out to the western edge of the afternoon.
He wants to go home and watch his daughter ride her bike down a leafy street.
Dark reaches for a pitch and hits a seeing-eye bouncer that ticks off the end of the first baseman's glove.
A head pops up over the blanket, it's the engineer from KMOX and he starts telling a joke about the fastest lover in Mexico-een May-heeko. An amazing chap named Speedy Gonzalez.
Russ is thinking base hit all the way but glances routinely at the clubhouse sign in straightaway center to see if the first E in CHESTERFIELD lights up, indicating error.
Robinson retrieves the ball in short right.
"So this guy's on his honeymoon in Acapulco and he's heard all the stories about the incredible cunning of Speedy Gonzalez and he's frankly worried, he's a highly nervous type and so on the first night, the night of nights, he's in bed with his wife and he's got his middle finger plugged up her snatch to keep Speedy Gonzalez from sneaking in there when he's not looking."
Mueller stands in, taking the first pitch low.
In the Dodger dugout a coach picks up the phone and calls the bullpen for the eighteenth time to find out who's throwing good and who ain't.
Mueller sees a fastball belt-high and pokes a single to right.
"So then he's dying for a smoke and he reaches over for a second to get his cigarettes and matches."
Russ describes Dark going into third standing up. He sees Thomson standing in the dugout with his arms raised and his hands held backwards gripping the edge of the roof. He describes people standing in the aisles and others moving down toward the field.
Irvin dropping the weighted bat.
"So then he lights up quick and reaches back to the bed finger-first."
Maglie's already in the clubhouse sitting in his skivvies in that postgame state of disrepair and pit stink that might pass for some shambles of the inner man, slugging beer from the bottle.
Irvin stands in.
Russ describes Newcombe taking a deep breath and stretching his arms over his head. He describes Newcombe looking in for the sign.
"And Speedy Gonzalez says, Sen-yor-or, you got your finger up my a-ass."
Russ hears most of this and wishes he hadn't. He does a small joke of his own, half standing to drape the mike with his suit coat as if to keep the smallest syllable of raunchy talk from reaching his audience. Decent people out there.
Fastball high and away.
The crowd noise is uncertain. They don't know if this is a rally in the works or just another drag-tail finish that draws out the pain. It's a high rackety noise that makes Russ think of restive waiting in a train station.
Irvin tries to pull it, overeager, and Russ hears the soul of the crowd repeat the sorry arc of the baseball, a moaned vowel falling softly to earth. First baseman puts it away.
Decent people out there. Russ wants to believe they are still assembled in some recognizable manner, the kindred unit at the radio, old lines and ties and propinquities.
Lockman stands in, the towhead from Caroline.
How his family used to gather around the gramophone and listen to grand opera, the trilled r's of old Europe. These thoughts fade and return. They are not distractions. He is alert to every movement on the field.
A couple of swabbies move down to the rail near third base.
How the records were blank on one side and so brittle they would crack if you looked at them cross-eyed. That was the going joke.
He is hunched over the mike. The field seems to open outward into nouns and verbs. All he has to do is talk.
Saying, "Carl Erskine and fireballer Ralph Branca still throwing in the bullpen."
Pitch.
Lockman fouls it back into the netting.
Now the rhythmic applause starts, tentative at first, then spreading densely through the stands. This is how the crowd enters the game. The repeated three-beat has the force of some abject faith, a desperate kind of will toward magic and accident.
Lockman stands in once more, wagging the yellow bat.
How his mother used to make him gargle with warm water and salt when he complained of a sore throat.
Lockman hits the second pitch on a low line over third. Russ hears Harry Caray shouting into the mike on the other side of the blanket. Then they are both shouting and the ball is slicing toward the line and landing fair and sending up a spew of dirt and forcing Pafko into the corner once again.
Men running, the sprint from first to third, the man who scores coming in backwards so he can check the action on the base paths. All the Giants up at the front of the dugout. The crowd is up, heads weaving for better views. Men running through a slide of noise that comes heaving down on them.
The pitch was off the plate and he wrong-waved it and Harry started shouting.
The hit obliterates the beat of the crowd's rhythmic clapping. They're coming into open roar, making a noise that keeps enlarging itself in breadth and range. This is the crowd made over, the crowd renewed.
Harry started shouting and then Pafko went into the corner and Russ started shouting and the paper began to fall.
One out, one in, two runs down, men on second and third. Russ thinks every word may be his last. He feels the redness in his throat, the pinpoint constriction. Mueller still on the ground at third, injured sliding or not sliding, stopping short and catching his spikes on the bag, a man in pain, the flare of pulled tendons.