“I swear to God, I’m going to take away her phone privileges,” Embry said.
“She’s probably just worried about you. Go answer it.”
Embry stalked back to her bag and grabbed her phone. “Hey, M, didn’t you get my text?”
“Yeah, but you were a little vague. What are you doing at school at this time of night?”
“I had to grab something from Luke’s office.” She turned toward Luke and rolled her eyes dramatically. A small smirk appeared on his lips.
“Grab something? Or someone? Are you grabbing Luke?”
Embry could practically hear Morgan’s eyebrows raising. “Hah, very funny.” She stared into Luke’s eyes, still burning bright with desire. “I left a book. He’s not even here.” She wasn’t ready to discuss her and Luke with Morgan until she figured out exactly what “her and Luke” were. But as soon as the lie rolled off her tongue, she saw his face fall.
By the time she hung up, his shirt was re-buttoned and he was packing his work bag. “We should probably get out of here, huh?” he suggested.
Looking at her watch, she realized the library would be closing soon. “Yeah, I guess.” She was confused by his mood change. Maybe he just needed some time to sort out his feelings. Embry slowly gatheri her things, unsure of what to say but not wanting to leave yet. They couldn’t continue the way they’d been going. They needed to talk. “Luke, I—”
“No, Bree,” he said, holding up a hand. He let out a long, low sigh. Digging his hands into his pockets and slumping his shoulders, he looked completely defeated. “It’s okay. I know what you’re going to say, and you’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you into that.”
“No, I wasn’t going to—”
“Really,” he rushed to say. “It was a mistake. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”
She faltered, the words crashing into her as if she’d been hit. A mistake? She didn’t understand how he could think that after all she’d revealed to him. It was the farthest thing from what she was about to say. They had blurred the lines—or completely obliterated them—but she never considered being with Luke a mistake. She knew it was improper and against school rules. It was a huge risk because of their professor/student relationship, but being with Luke felt more right than anything else.
“Bree?”
“Yeah,” she answered, turning away. She pulled her keys from her bag and tried to compose herself. She’d never expected that. How was she supposed to respond?
He came up behind her his voice softening. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she answered, turning back to him. She stared at the solid wall of his chest, refusing to make eye contact.
“You all right?”
“Great,” she answered.
“Convincing,” he shot back. “What I said—”
“No, it’s fine. It’s not what I was going to say, but you’re right. We can’t keep this up.” She tilted her head up to look into his eyes, and noticed the light had gone right out of them.
“Yeah, okay. Well, let’s head out then.”
“We probably shouldn’t walk out together,” she suggested, throwing her bags over her shoulder.
“Okay, then I’ll follow you. Make sure you get to your car okay.”
He followed close behind her as she walked down the hallway. Each step carried her farther from where she wanted to be. She had to fight every instinct to turn around and throw herself into Luke’s arms, tell him that she didn’t care about the rules. He was where she wanted to be. But instead she kept walking, trying to ignore the ache creeping back into her chest.
18
Everything looks different in the light of day. Embry saw the truth in that statement … if different meant worse. As the sun streamed in through her sheer curtains, she pulled the covers over her head and groaned. She’d left school last night and thrown herself in bed, trying as hard as she could to not think about what had happened in Luke’s office. Unfortunately, her brain had other plans and she’d tossed and turned all night.
She was mortified that she’d revealed her feelings to Luke, and he’d brushed her off. It was nobody’s fault but her own. How could she expect Luke to take her seriously when she’d been pushing him away for the better part of a month? She’d let him in, and as soon as he got too close, she pushed him away again.
Dragging herself out of bed, Embry made her way to the coffee maker and started a pot. She had no business thinking about love when her brain was barely awake. A mistake. Although the words made her wince, her gut told her he hadn’t meant them. The pain and desire in his soulful blue eyes had betrayed him. But it didn’t change the fact that they were stuck in the same holding pattern. The only way to stop the cycle was to avoid each other, but neither one of them seemed able to do that.
Embry took her coffee out to the balcony and called Morgan.
“Hey chicky! I was just gonna call you,” said her best friend.
“You’re way too enthusiastic for this early in the morning.”
“Early? It’s eleven o’clock. Rough night?”
“You could say that,” Embry responded. The fall breeze scattered leaves across the grass and left Embry chilled. She tucked herself into the lounge chair and pulled a blanket around herself, trying not to think about the warm arms she wished were wrapped around her instead. “I saw Luke last night.”
“You mean after he showed up at the bar with Trampy McBimbo?”
“Yeah. I lied. I was with him when you called.”
Morgan let out a fake gasp. “You don’t say!”
“You knew?”
“I had my suspicions,” Morgan admitted. “You’re a shit liar.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know if there’s much I’m not shit at anymore.” Embry decided to come clean. She told Morgan about everything that had been going on for the past month. The flirting. The kisses. Jack. She felt especially guilty about keeping Morgan in the dark about her ex’s harassing phone calls.
“Are you kidding me?” Morgan’s voice lost its earlier playfulness. “How could you not tell me this was going on? Did you at least tell Luke?”
Embry let out a long sigh. “No. I don’t want him to know about Jack. He shouldn’t have to deal with my drama.”
“I seriously have my doubts about your intelligence sometimes,” Morgan said.
Embry winced. “That hurt.” She hadn’t expected such a strong reaction. She was used to Morgan’s light-hearted demeanor.
“This isn’t a joke, Bree. I can’t believe Jack’s been harassing you, and you haven’t told a single person! What if he knows where you live?”
“He doesn’t,” she said, becoming defensive.
“How do you know? Have you even talked to your mom about it yet?”
“No.” Embry dropped her head in shame. As much as she wanted to argue, she knew Morgan was right. She wasn’t making smart decisions when it came to dealing with Jack.
“Embry, I know running to Florida worked for you last time, but you can’t run again. You have to handle this. You need to come clean to your parents. Your mother would be mortified knowing she gave that abusive fuck your phone number.”
Embry worried at a frayed edge of her blanket. “I just don’t want to make them feel bad. She’ll blame herself; you know how my mom is.”
“Stop thinking about everyone else and worry about yourself for once. I’m telling Brett, and when you get yourself sorted out with Luke, I suggest you let him know what’s going on as well.”
“But he—”
“Won’t think you’re weak,” Morgan interjected. “You’re one of the bravest people I know. You were sixteen when you met Jack. He was all you knew. You were strong for getting out when you did. He charmed the pants off of everyone he met while putting you through hell. You did what you had to do to survive.”