“I thought if…” Mr Kemp tried to defend himself, but James didn’t let him finish.
“What did you tell her?” he growled.
“Nothing, I would never…” Mr Kemp pleaded.
“Just because you’re here to enforce the rules, doesn’t mean you can make them. Catherine’s safety is more important than your research!”
“Where is she?” he added.
“I’m here,” I quietly answered.
“Catherine.” James came to me, pulled me close to him, holding me so tight I could feel his heart beating. Why was he so upset? He has never held me this way.
“Can we leave?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said with sorrow in his eyes. I was confused, not sure what to make of what just happened. Surprisingly, I felt sorry for Mr Kemp. I know he was trying to help me but James obviously didn’t think so. Once in the car, neither one of us spoke. James was still visibly upset. When we arrived at the college, I followed him to his office. Once inside, he slowly lit the fire and came towards me. I didn’t like the look on his face.
“James… About Richard?”
“Catherine, I know what is being said isn’t true. I also believe that our love is powerful and that we can overcome anything. However, I also believe that your life is in danger when we are together. We need to stop this before it’s too late.”
“What are you saying?”
“We need to end this. I need to stay away from you. No good can come of this.”
“No good? No… No… You can’t stop this!”
James came closer towards me. He had tears in his eyes.
“Please try to understand,” he said with his lips tightened.
“No… James! No! Please don’t do this to me. I need you. I don’t want anyone but you.”
“We are not meant to be together. I understand that now. I promised you I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.”
I was broken and inconsolable. I stepped away from him slowly.
“You can’t do this to me,” I pleaded.
“Catherine…”
“Don’t!” I shouted, crying now. I placed my hands on his chest. I could feel his heart pounding. I needed to touch him.
I closed my eyes and moved closer to him, until our bodies were touching. I looked up at him. His face was shattered. But he didn’t want me. In disbelief I left.
When I got to my room, I was so inconsolable I wanted to scream. I wanted to see something break, anything… other than my heart.
How could he just give up on us? Weren’t we worth fighting for?
I felt sick in the stomach; I have never known my life to be so complicated. Could I be anymore unlucky than I am now.
I sat a while longer, thinking… trying to understand what just happened today. Why did Mr Kemp take me to that street? And why was James so angry? I don’t even know how to begin to make sense of it all. My first thoughts were that Mr Kemp was trying to throw me off, with no intentions of helping me today, but James’s reaction would suggest otherwise. What does that street have to do with me?
Could Mr Kemp have something to do with all this, other than just being a nuisance.
I had to see Mr Kemp. I got up and headed for the door. As I opened the door to leave; standing there was the college cleaner, struggling to hold her collection of cleaning equipment.
“Hi… Mary, You gave me a fright,” I said, startled by her being so close to my door.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to give you a scare,” she said.
“I’m fine. Lucky actually, I almost forgot to leave my door unlocked,” I said, trying to be friendly enough so she wouldn’t notice my sadness.
“Well you would have been the first, no one likes to miss out on having their room cleaned by someone else,” she laughed as equipment started falling out of her hands.
“Oh!” she cried.
“Here let me help you.” I bent down and started picking up what had fallen. “Why don’t you bring your trolley down the hallway rather than carrying everything?” I asked impatiently.
“Trust me, there is nothing I would like more than that, but the hallway is quite narrow and I have upset a few teachers in the past, when they had to walk around my trolley. So now I leave it there out of the way,” she said.
“Here, I’ll help you take these to the room you’re cleaning, or is it mine?” I enquiry.
“No, I wish, I’ve just started, I’m heading to Mr Kemp’s,” she said as she started making her way to his room.
“OK,” I replied and started walking down with her. She kept raving on about how it would be so much easier if her trolley was just outside each door. When we got to Mr Kemp’s door she opened it and walked right in.
I couldn’t believe I was in his room. It was so messy! Books and papers were everywhere.
“Where do you want me to put these?” I asked, holding her cleaning products.
“In the bathroom please, I just have to go back and get the vacuum,” she said as she ran out.
I quickly placed the products in the bathroom and came back out. My eyes were everywhere, scouting unsure to what I was thinking or planning to do. Was I really thinking about taking something? Hearing the vacuum being dragged down the hallway, I knew I’d better hurry if I was going to snoop. I didn’t want to open any of his drawers, that would be wrong, so I pulled a few papers that were sticking out of a brown leather book on his desk and placed them under my top and immediately walked out.
“Thank you. I appreciate your help,” Mary said as she walked past me.
“You’re welcome,” I replied, heading back to my room.
I threw the papers on my bed and stepped back. What have I done? I felt awful and disappointed with myself. How could I do something like that? How could I possibly ever return them? I couldn’t…
I began pacing the room, not knowing what to do. This was wrong on so many levels, but it’s done now, I can’t take it back. Maybe it’s nothing important. It could well be a shopping list or scribbles.
“Damn.” I headed to my bed and picked them up. I sat on my desk and opened them up.
It was a grid of some sort with the initials J.B. and number 1878. Other letters and numbers were all over the page, but it was too cryptic. Was J.B. for James Barclay? Could this be what James said about Mr Kemp’s research? Why would Mr Kemp be researching James? On another page was an emblem. I paused for a moment. I’ve seen this before… I placed a finger on it and followed the outline, and by heart I knew the design. Where had I seen this before?
What was I suppose to do with these papers now. I would have to destroy them, but they could be important. I took them and placed them in one of the pockets of my luggage until I could figure out what to do with them.
I needed to be somewhere other than this room, so I headed to my classroom to find refuge.
I sat quietly at my desk with my face in my hands until there was a knock on my door.
“Excuse me Miss, may I speak with you?” called Mark.
I sat up and brushed my hair from my face and tried to find some composure.
“Yes Mark, of course.”
“Um… I’m sorry; I know this is none of my business. But I just want to know. Is it true that you and my father are together?”
I took a deep breath and tried not to take my devastating afternoon out on him.
“Mark, has your father said anything to you about us being together?” I enquiry.
“No… not at all,” he replied quickly.
“Then what has given you the impression that we are?”
“I know he likes you… A great deal, and the other students are talking.”
I gave him a warm smile. There was no need for him to suffer. He had done nothing wrong. What was I supposed to say? I more or less admitted to Jules that I was with Mr Cartwright. This was all Richard’s fault. His public behaviour this morning started all this. Jealous mothers, wagging tongues and James’s obvious outrage at seeing Richard with me had also contributed.