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Why did you let me go James?

I moved all the bags and things to one side of my bed. I took my boots off and lay down to cry myself to sleep.

When I woke, my eyes felt sore and swollen from all the crying I had done. I looked at my watch to see that it was only just after 8 o’clock. I thought about how James had slept last night. I wondered whether or not he thought about me and how I slept last night? I knew that he let me go, but I also knew, deep down inside, it was killing him. I couldn’t believe how everything had changed so quickly and without any warning. I took a deep breath and shook my head in disappointment.

I needed two hands to draw back the curtains. They were a heavy and thick material and ran right up to the ceiling. It was a sunny day with a light fog, English style. I opened the internal door in my room that led to a magnificent ensuite. It was such a relief; I wasn’t ready to leave my room.

I looked at my bedside. There were so many bags and small packages I felt like a charity case. But I had no choice. I couldn’t wear this dress again today, sleep in it again tonight and then go back to the college in it tomorrow.

You’ve made your bed Catherine, now you have to sleep in it!

After my shower, I wrapped a towel around me, headed for my bed and started to open the packages. To my horror everything I opened I loved and was the perfect size. A stunning navy wool coat, an evening dress, two pairs of the same shoe but different sizes, negligee and robe, riding boots, tights, jumpers, a blouse, make-up, perfume and other toiletries. This was too much. Everything was of the highest quality. I was dumbfounded. I noticed a black box with a pink ribbon on the floor that I hadn’t opened yet. Inside were bras, underwear and other lingerie pieces.

Who was this good friend of Richard’s who thought I would need all this to spend the weekend with him? Well whoever you are, your taste is impeccable and much appreciated.

I changed into jodhpurs, a jumper and boots. Everything fitted and looked perfect, but I felt guilty. These weren’t my clothes and I wasn’t getting dressed for James.

Then there was a knock on the door. I went to it quickly and opened it.

“Good morning ma’am, I am here to take you to breakfast.”

“OK… thank you, but I haven’t finished…” I looked to the mess on my bed and on the floor.

“Please, I will take care of this for you. This way,” she said and started to walk off.

Everything was happening too quickly for me. I seemed to have no say in anything, except this stupid plan that I was completely responsible for. Maybe it was better that I had no say in anything planned for the weekend.

“Good morning,” Richard greeted me cheerily as he stood up and pulled out a chair for me.

“Morning,” I replied and sat down, still feeling uncomfortable wearing the clothes he had given me.

“Juice?” the lady asked politely.

“Oh, um, yes please.”

She nodded and poured me a glass.

“How did you sleep?” Richard leant over and asked.

“Well, thanks,” I answered without giving him any eye contact.

“You look amazing,” he complimented me as he sat back in his seat.

I didn’t reply. I placed some fruit on my plate. I was so hungry having not eaten dinner or lunch the day before. I had to eat, and now!

“Well it looks like the Gods are on our side Catherine. We ride today!” he declared, obviously pleased with himself.

“Richard, I am quite overwhelmed and grateful for all the clothes. Please send my thanks to your lady friend. She has incredible taste.”

“You’re very welcome, and I will pass on your thanks. I have a confession to make though. She followed us for a while so she could get an idea of your size and taste,” he said laughing.

“What? No!” I said with a half-smile, embarrassed. “That’s creepy!” I shook my head.

After breakfast Richard took me for the grand tour. The house was so big that it took more than an hour to see it all. It was amazing. I loved it. The furnishings and style of the house were exquisite.

“This house is so big for just you and Mark, don’t you think?”

“Yes I agree. It would be much cosier with three,” he whispered suggestively, close to my ear before walking ahead.

I was taken aback by his reply and hated myself for setting that up for him. He looked back at me and smiled cheekily. I just ignored him and tried to keep up the pace. Not wanting to admit to it, but with all fairness, Richard was a very handsome man. I could only imagine how many women he had been with. I have no idea why he would be interested in me at all, especially after seeing me fall apart at his cottage. I wondered why he and his wife were divorced.

Richard then stopped ahead and waited for me to catch up to him.

“My apologies if you are bored.”

“No, not at all,” I replied honestly. I was enjoying Richard’s tour immensely.

Richard took me around the whole house and the beautiful grounds before we ended up at the stables. I tried not to be happy, I really did, but it was hard. The landscape and fresh air were too beautiful not to lift my mood. Every so often the guilt would return. It was important for me not to show Richard too much attention or any type of encouragement. I did not want to give him any false hope.

“Pick one,” he requested, as he pointed towards the horses.

I ran up, excited to pick, but stopped abruptly.

“You pick!” I said with a smile.

“Alright then,” he said as he passed his horses slowly, one by one, deep in thought.

“Now the horse that I choose for you will have to be like you: beautiful, strong and independent but with an irresistible innocence and, of course, slightly clumsy.”

“Stop it!” I frowned.

“Alright! It would have to be Sugar!”

“What? Not Sugar from the college?” I asked.

“Yes. Have you met?” he asked.

“We have met, briefly. I don’t understand why she is here?” I asked, puzzled.

“I do not get nearly enough time to ride all my horses, so occasionally, I send them to the college so the boys can give them a good run.”

“That makes sense.”

A man came out of the stable, smiled at me and went to Richard.

“Mr Cartwright, have you chosen a horse for the lady?” the man asked.

“Yes, Catherine will be riding Sugar.”

“Very good sir, I will also bring your horse around.”

“Thank you.”

A few minutes later, the man came out with two horses — mine, an old friend, and Richard’s, a black stallion, of course. The man brought Sugar to me and placed a timber stool beside her so I could climb up. Richard mounted his horse like a cowboy in an old movie. With a quick pull of the reins, he came around beside me.

“Do you ride as good as you look?” he asked with a cheeky tone of voice.

“I guess…”

“Call out if you need me to slow down for you. Any questions?” he asked.

“What’s the name of your horse?” I asked.

With a smile and a jerk of the reins, he replied ‘King’ and rode off.

“Ahhh!” I said, rolling my eyes, and started to ride after him.

I wasn’t sure if he was riding to his fullest potential, but I kept a great pace, which seemed to surprise him every time he looked over his shoulder. I felt free for the first time in a long time, flying through the air, the coldness of the wind touching me everywhere. I felt liberated, Sugar was a fast, slick horse to ride and we were a good match. She started to slow down as we descended into a valley. It was breathtaking. At the bottom of the valley, a clear lake was visible. An extraordinarily small bridge, nothing like I have ever seen before, hung over the lake.