In addition, concerted cultivation can lead to role confusion, particularly over the amount of power that children have in the family. Within short periods of time, for example, there are radical shifts in the status that Alexander’s parents accord him. At times Alexander is treated similarly to how adults are treated: his opinions are solicited, he is given a “vote” in family decisions, and he even gives his parents orders. In other moments, however, he is treated as if he is a very young child, as in this example while the family is waiting to enter the church service:
Alexander was leaning on his father. Terry gave Alex a hug. Alex hugged his father tightly. Terry [then] cloaked Alex in his jacket. He made a humming sound as they hugged. Christina [then] asked in . . . a “motherese” tone: “Where’s Alexander?” Christina poked Alex who was still under his father’s jacket. (She asked) “Where’s my baby? Where’s Alexander?” Christina . . . exclaimed, “There he is! I see my baby.” Alexander laughed as his mother poked him. As a prayer became audible through the sanctuary door, Alex was freed from his play of his parents.18
Alexander clearly enjoys this playful moment. In other instances Alexander as well as other middle-class children resist their parents’ efforts to treat them as children. Instead, drawing on their verbal skills, they assert that they should be accorded special privileges and, when rebuffed, badger their parents to comply with their requests.19
SUMMING UP
The verbal world middle-class children inhabit offers formidable advantages and some significant costs. Compared to the children in the working-class and poor homes we observed, Alexander is better prepared to participate effectively in social interactions, particularly those involving adults. The Williamses’ approach to child rearing gives their son a larger vocabulary (e.g., prerogative and plagiarism); it gives him the tools he needs for customizing situations in and outside the home to maximize his own advantage; it exposes him to broader knowledge about topics of interest to him (e.g., dinosaurs and photography chemicals); it helps him learn to defend an argument with evidence (e.g., why his chosen X-Man was the most powerful); and it provides him with a larger set of skills for defending his individual preferences (e.g., eating one more potato chip).
But concerted cultivation takes time—a great deal of time. Both of Alex’s parents tailored their leisure hours to conform to their son’s various commitments. The Williamses also devoted their time and attention to talking with Alex. They taught him new words, scoured magazines for articles that might be of interest to him, elicited his opinions, challenged him to support his assertions, and pointed out inconsistencies in his intellectual positions. For his part, Alex—seemingly willingly—gave up most of his free time in order to participate in adult-organized activities.
Alexander was an apt pupil, able to absorb all that his parents taught him. The benefits of his social class position were not, however, limited to the impact of his parents’ actions. Alexander himself expanded his opportunities by beginning to implement what he was learning about his position in the social world. Specifically, he seemed to have internalized the idea that it is legitimate and reasonable for others to adjust their actions to suit his preferences; this belief provided the basis for his attempts to customize social interactions, including those involving adults.
The fact that Alexander is a young African American male also shaped various aspects of his life in important ways. He belonged to an all-Black church, and he had regular opportunities to form friendships with other Black children. His parents carefully scrutinized his social environment, always seeking, as Ms. Williams said, to keep him in the company of individuals who were also “cultured.”
Although Mr. and Ms. Williams disagreed on elements of how training in race relations should be implemented, they both recognized that their racial and ethnic identity profoundly shaped their and their son’s everyday experiences. They were well aware of the potential for Alexander to be exposed to racial injustice, and they went to great lengths to try to protect their son from racial insults and other forms of discrimination. Nevertheless, race did not appear to shape the dominant cultural logic of child rearing in Alexander’s family or in other families in the study. All of the middle-class families engaged in extensive reasoning with their children, asking questions, probing assertions, and listening to answers.
This kind of training developed in Alexander and other middle-class children a sense of entitlement. They felt they had a right to weigh in with an opinion, to make special requests, to pass judgment on others, and to offer advice to adults. They expected to receive attention and to be taken very seriously. It is important to recognize that these advantages and entitlements are historically specific. In colonial America, for example, children’s actions were highly restricted; thus, the strategies associated with concerted cultivation would have conferred no social class advantage. They are highly effective strategies in the United States today precisely because our society places a premium on assertive, individualized actions executed by persons who command skills in reasoning and negotiation.
CHAPTER 7
Language as a Conduit
for Social Life:
Harold McAllister
I ask Harold, “How is your [fifth-grade] teacher?” Harold hotly says, “She’s mean and she lies.” Ms. McAllister is washing dishes, listening quietly. She asks, “What was the name of that man teacher?” Harold says, “Mr. Lindsay?” She says, “No, the other one.” He says, “Mr. Terrene.” Ms. McAllister smiles and says, “Yeah, I liked him.”
Off a busy street, a few blocks from a small business area, lies the Lower Richmond public housing project. Since the road to the housing project dead-ends, and most who live or visit there do not own cars, there is little traffic. Few people wander accidentally through. All the residents are African American, and so is much of the surrounding area (the project edges a large swath of the city that consists exclusively of Black neighborhoods). A white working-class neighborhood is within walking distance, however. The housing project is considered a dangerous area; local businesses, including the pizza parlor, refuse to make deliveries there.
The McAllister family lives in a part of the project consisting of rows of two- and three-story brick units. The brown, blocklike units on their side contain five two-story apartments. Because the apartments have only one small window per room, they are dark on the inside. Sometimes residents keep lights on during the day. Outside, each has its own small yard enclosed by a concrete-and-wood fence. A large deciduous tree stands in front of the McAllisters’ unit; its leaves provide welcome shade during the hot summer. Wide concrete sidewalks cut through the spaces between the buildings; at night large floodlights shine down from the corners of each unit. The ground is bare in many places and often is littered with paper, wrappers, and glass.
Residents often sit together outside in lawn chairs or on front stoops, drinking beer, talking, and watching children play. Windows are left open usually during summer, allowing breezes to waft through the units and providing vantage points from which residents can survey the neighborhood.
The first floor of the McAllisters’ two-story apartment contains an open living area and a kitchen. The living room is simply furnished, with two turquoise couches, one easy chair, and a wooden stand with a large, open Bible on top. There is a table in the kitchen and, not far from that, a washing machine (there is no dryer). Roaches are a constant problem, despite efforts to beat them back with pesticides. Thus, food is not usually left out. The refrigerator is broken. Ms. McAllister has complained to the manager and although she has been promised a new one, it doesn’t arrive during the three weeks we are visiting. Ms. McAllister makes do by storing some food next door in her friend Latifa’s refrigerator and some in coolers packed with ice.