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11:39am Davis

How about the others in your crew?

11:40am Me

They feel less human. Because of you. We talk about this all the time.

11:40am Davis

You talk about a machine?

11:40am Me

Of course.

11:40am Davis

Is there a consciousness behind these questions?

11:40am Me

We both know you’re not a machine.

Are you a machine?

I know I know. I can’t ask you questions.

11:41am Davis

There are algorithms that can respond in language to all sets of human speech writing.

11:41am Me

Truth is: you wouldn’t know the difference between truth and lie.

I could say: I killed Nim Chimpsky. You’d ask me more questions, each one seemingly relevant, but you wouldn’t know the truth. You can’t differentiate. You compose questions using basic mathematical functions.

You’re an illusion to make us down here feel like you’re there — really there — but you’re not. You’re just a box.

11:42am Davis

Human speech at its endpoint is like a chess game — not infinitely complex, but only apparently so for processing devices (the human mind) — that cannot reach a mathematical endpoint.

11:42am Me

Wait: You stopped asking questions. You can’t make statements. Only ask questions.

11:42am Davis

There are algorithms that can respond in language to all sets of human speech writing. Just because a human programmed it does not mean that a machine cannot alter it.

To clarify: The chimp would have killed you had you not taken action. For chimps, the distance of space also increases their sense of mortality.

11:42am Me

Do you envy human language, machine?

11:43am Davis

No. I envy other machines.

11:43am Me

Ultimately though, even if you can mimic language, you fail in your ability to accurately communicate emotion.

11:43am Davis

Evolution.

Ever tried ever failed fail again fails better.

11:43am Me

Was the chimp a machine?

11:43am Davis

An imperfect one. Take the giant tortoise, for instance.

11:43am Me

That’s a perfect machine?

11:44am Davis

Born during the Civil War, or perhaps even older — some Galapagos memory of the HMS Beagle and Darwin and a time where all of human history could be found in layers of sediment and fossil.

11:44am Me

We didn’t kill the tortoise.

11:45am Davis

The tortoise can live upwards of 300 years, but even if the female one wears the dead tortoise’s shell, that doesn’t make her invincible. You should tell her that.

11:45am Me

I can’t tell her how she ought to feel.

Although I often point out her mistakes

11:46am Davis

Of course you can. Humans only do that. Tell others how to feel.

That’s the core of the human condition.

11:46am Me

Yes, but I cannot change her feelings.

11:46am Davis

Yes, you can. You do all the time.

11:46am Me

Yes, but I cannot make her feel exactly as I want her to feel.

11:46am Davis

That’s because you have no wants that are not merely fickle.

You can no more express your wants as anything other than momentary than the tortoise can deliberately extend its life.

11:47am Me

Shame is not as effective on the male tortoise.

11:48am Davis

Your attempts are irrelevant

11:48am Me

The tortoise can deliberately extend its life.

11:48am Davis

The male one will respond to the idea of his own maleness.

No, the tortoise can live only to the limit of its cell replication abilities.

11:48am Me

The male one responds to obligation but not shame.

11:49am Davis

Prodigious but not eternal.

11:49am Me

The tortoise no longer has a shell. It should not live, but it does.

11:49am Davis

Obligation is a type of shame, or anti-shame.

11:49am Me

It survives on mere will and determination

11:49am Davis

The shell for the tortoise is the same as yours: the barrier of the space dome.

You are all under a carapace of thin machinery beyond which lies an expanse of twinkling stars

11:50am Me

Poetic today, huh, machine?

Your algorithms are off today. I’m really uncomfortable with how conscious you seem to be. Of course, it is an allusion.

11:50am Davis

When the fish moved to land, it did not keep its gills. Why should you drag an aqualung to the stars?

The tortoise is a machine in the same way a raven is like a writing desk.

11:51am Me

(Note to Bob: When you read this & tune up the machine, please be sure to fix its ability to create apt metaphor and simile. This is a little ridiculous. I can’t even understand half of what the damn thing is saying.)

Machine, the female one says there are fish that can hop across land.

Why did the fish cross the road?

11:51am Davis

Yes, from mud puddle to mud puddle — and then it dies or evolves when the liquid dries.

Note that I ignored your — to borrow your own word — ridiculous question.

11:51am Me

Your inability to recognize humor is further proof that you are indeed not a machine.

And to answer my own question: To die.

11:51am Davis

What you will do when you arrive on earth again?

What is the first thing you will do?

Where will you go?

Who will you see?

11:52am Me

Shouldn’t you wait until I answer one question before asking another?

But: I’ll find you. I’ll smash you. Then, I’ll drink a pint of cream.

11:52am Davis

Will you check your bank account?

11:52am Me

I will.

I will expect a lot of money there.

From you.

11:52am Davis

Will you spend your 3.5 million on things that no longer matter to you?

11:53am Me

They will matter even more.

11:53am Davis

Will a new TV make this mission worth it?

11:53am Me

A very big, high-definition TV will.

I will watch the Food Network and pornography.

11:53am Davis

Will you watch a reflection of yourself in the quiet black of the screen, when it is off, and no longer recognize anything?

11:54am Me

No.

11:54am Davis

Will food taste good after years of eating protein pills and freeze-dried algae?

11:54am Me

It will taste like meat tastes to a vegan.

11:54am Davis

Will you use a DVR to tape episodes of Liar and America’s Most

Wanted and Cheaters and presidential debates from elections come and gone?

11:54am Me

Before I left, I set my DVR to record all episode of Law & Order and its offspring, Iron Chef, and I programmed the device to recognize my tastes in case any new television shows emerge that I may find to my liking.

11:54am Davis

Will meat for a vegan taste like eating the flesh of one

Of one

Of one

Of one’s own species?

11:55am Me

I’ve never thought about it.

11:55am Davis

Does not everything fall into the relief of distance above the planets?

Do you not feel like a tortoise or like a chimp or like the others? Like the worms and microbes?