My hand, which was supposed to only be holding around his waist was feeling every gloriously muscled and softly sculpted part of his chest. My body had become molded to his as my hips began to move in a once familiar pattern against his body and the heat flooded me. I was breathing hard as I rolled away and began pulling his shoulder to roll him toward me.
When he turned to me, I was over the invisible line and I didn’t care. I knew the words I was afraid to utter were resting on the tip of my tongue.
“Leese, baby, are you okay?”
I took his hand and brought it to my breast and then closed my eyes as I permitted his touch. I could feel him gather above me, his muscled arms came around each side of me. My breathing was getting faster, as I felt his lips barely brush against mine.
“Shit, Leese, this is really going to happen, isn’t it? You’re going to let me do this when I don’t have a frickin’ clue what I’m doing. But you’ve got to ask me, baby girl, you have to do what you said or I can’t go any further.”
Micah, Micah, Micah, was all I kept screaming inside my head. “N-no,” I said pushing him away, my other hand went to my own forbidden places as I remembered Micah’s words that I didn’t need to have a man for this moment. In seconds the shockwaves hit me so hard I doubled over, turning away from Ryan and crying out at the sheer magnitude of the first orgasm I’d had since the last time Micah brought me to this point.
“What the hell was that?” came his stunned words.
I was still in a ball and crying my eyes out. I tumbled out of the bed and ran for the bathroom, nausea flooding my senses over what I’d done right in front of him. I washed my face, splashing the cold water on my skin and simply wanting to drown myself.
I felt his hands on my waist. Crap! I hadn’t locked the door. He never came in on me in the bathroom.
I grabbed a washcloth and buried my face into it, I couldn’t look at him. I was so ashamed. “I’m so, so sorry, Ryan-I’ll sleep in the other room and tomorrow I’m getting out of here.”
“Whoa, don’t you dare start talking like that.”
I straightened slowly and finally looked at him, “I was just a freak show in the bedroom and I can’t-”
“Freak show? Baby, you were so freaking damn sexy I thought I was gonna die watching you. I just never knew it was that intense for a girl.”
“Well, trust me I have no clue if I’m normal or not. I blew it, Ryan-I totally blew my control and if you hadn’t asked me to actually say it, I would have been your first and I can’t do that with you-it’s just wrong. I promised him forever. I can’t promise it twice.” I broke down sobbing, flinching as his arms encircled me.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I know you’re trying to do everything right, but baby you’re forgetting something really important,” he said, as he tipped my chin up, “you’re still human.”
“But I’m so ashamed.”
“I thought you were beautiful, not to mention you had the strength to push me away.”
“How can you stand me? I satisfied myself and left you laying there.”
“Go back to bed, Leese. I’m going to take a shower.”
I looked at him wondering if he was telling me something with his remark.
“Yeah, I know how to take care of me. I’ll be in there in a little while. Goodnight.”
I climbed in the bed still unable to believe what happened. I was awake when he returned to the bed and cuddled up behind me with his arm around my waist.
When morning came, I woke early and dressed and grabbed my purse. I was going down to the Saturday Farmers Market. Besides, I needed something to clear last night out of my head. Ryan would sleep until noon, so I locked the house and began a slow walk toward the market.
The café was on the way and I decided I’d stop and have a coffee and a muffin. I kept getting this odd feeling someone was following me. There were quite a few people out this morning doing the exact same thing I was doing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. I stopped at the café and sat at an outside table for two as I sipped the piping hot Hazelnut coffee and picked at a blueberry muffin. I was glancing through the local newspaper when a shadow crossed my morning sunshine. I turned and my heart lurched hard against my chest; David Gavarreen was standing beside me.
I panicked, and started to stumble away from the table when he reached out with a steel grip and put me back in the chair.
“I need to talk to you,” he said in a low voice. “Your mom is worried sick.”
“Micah-where is Micah?” All I could think was if David was with me, Micah might be at the house doing something unforgivable to my best friend.
“In Louisiana,” he said simply, “I talked him in to letting me do this.”
“Do what?” I asked, straightening in my chair and gathering back my courage.
He reached under his arm and pulled out a manila envelope, “He wanted you to have these so you’d know you can go on with your life. You don’t have to run or try, pitiful as you are at it, to hide.”
“I haven’t used a credit card or a cell phone or-”
“You left a cash trail all over the place. I guess you didn’t realize the bank had all the numbers on those bills you took. Micah threatened the banker and got the list and all we had to do was wait for them to start popping up. You’ve dumped a shit-load of them here and the fact that Ryan lived here for a few years made this too easy. I’ve been watching you for three days. But I have to admit the hair did throw me for a few seconds.”
“How’s Mom?” I changed the subject, but I had been aching to talk with her.
“She’s wonderful. You of course are on the biggest shit list I’ve got-you ripped my brother’s heart right out of his chest, and if I wasn’t so crazy about your mother, I’d probably go ahead and waste you for hurting him that way. You know he’s back in the mob and bad as ever. That’s one reason I’m here now, he and I are leaving the country tomorrow on a big job and I hope like hell we both make it back alive, although I don’t know if he really cares if he does or not.”
“Don’t-don’t say that. I didn’t want to hurt him-I-”
“You’ve sure got a funny way of not wanting to hurt someone.” He picked up my coffee and took a long drink, “Open your envelope. He wanted to be sure you read it and didn’t simply throw it away.”
“I wouldn’t throw it away,” I growled, tearing open the seal and pulling out what appeared to be legal documents. “An Annulment?” My breath caught in my lungs as I said the word. Suddenly I felt dizzy and sick all at the same moment.
“Yeah, he had to say he forced you into marrying him, but it was the only way to get it.”
I stared at him blankly. I couldn’t believe Micah had annulled our marriage; it was as if it never happened.
“I have to ask you something and you’d better tell me the truth. Did you do anything with Micah’s money?”
“His money? I’ve never touched his money-I don’t even know what bank he keeps it in. Why?”
“When he got out of the mob, Dad sold every business Micah owned and liquidated all his assets. He had a hundred and twenty-three million in the bank. Now, he has less than three million. It’s a little hard for a hundred and twenty million dollars to simply vanish and he won’t say where it went. You honestly don’t know what happened to his money?”
“No, I’d never do anything like that. Can I-”
“Yeah and none of us figured you’d run off days after that wedding you were so determined to have, either.”
“I have my reasons and I can’t change them.”
“I know, blue-eyes and black hair, I’ve seen him.”