Now she was taking swings at the crew as she threatened me. She and a stage hand went tumbling over a chair as others jumped into give him a hand.
“You okay?” Ryan asked as I straighten my clothes.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go before they turn her loose and I end up actually having to hurt her. Geez, I’m starting to think this show is going to be more like Jerry Springer meets American Idol.”
He laughed lightly, “You’ve got her as long as she doesn’t close the gap between you two. If she does, it’ll come down to wrestling and I think she’ll have the advantage.”
Thursday and the majority of Friday we had free time to do what we wanted. I managed to talk him into Rodeo Drive, but he wore out on the shopping trip pretty quick.
“Let me at least buy you a nice silk suit. They have Gucci and Prada and-”
“First of all, why in the world would I need a suit? And secondly, Leese, why do you insist on blowing money on me? I have money-nothing like you, but I’ve got a couple million in a trust fund.”
“I don’t know, I guess I feel like I owe you so much for everything you’ve done for me and I just want-”
“I got paid,” he stated matter-of-factly, “three of the best kisses of my life, remember?”
“That wasn’t much of a payment for offering your life,” I frowned.
“You’re right. I think my life might be worth another three kisses.”
I slugged his arm, making him yowl, “Candace would rip your head off if she heard you say that.”
“True, but we are over a thousand miles away and-”
“Ryan Faultz, I am shocked! I thought once you kissed Candace those lips of yours would be sealed for her alone. Don’t tell me you’re going to be a run-around.”
“I’m not a run-around; I just happen to be crazy about two women-and you had a piece of my heart first. And, I only mentioned a kiss, that’s not like asking if we can sleep together? Although, by the way, I really miss sleeping together.”
I shook my head and laughed, “You are being bad today. I think Carrie has rubbed off on you.”
“Carrie would like to rub a lot of things off me. She is possessed. But, thank God for my bodyguard.” He knocked his shoulder into mine, which wasn’t easy since he’s seven inches taller than me.
“You aren’t going to be like this after you and Candace finally…”
His face blushed a little, “How am I supposed to know what I’m going to be like after that?”
“Will this be her first time, too?” I timidly asked as we continued window shopping.
His face became somber, “Can we discuss this some place a little quieter?”
I immediately knew the answer was a no, but there must be something more to the story so I agreed. We had lunch and headed back to the hotel. I wasn’t sure if I should ask him anymore about Candace, but he was the one who decided he wanted to talk, I just didn’t expect him to ask if we could lie in the bed together while we did.
“I slept so good on the plane just because I was able to keep my arm on you-I won’t ask to sleep this way tonight, but does a nap really count?”
“We’ll talk-I think a nap does count, but we were in separate chairs on the plane.”
We curled up on my bed and I had to admit it was wonderful to be cuddled against him. He put a soft kiss on my neck and then relaxed against the pillow.
“Candace started dating a guy last February who worked with her at the store. He pressured her really hard about letting him be her first. He claimed that he loved her and said if she loved him, she’d let it happen between them.”
I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like the outcome of this story.
“He bought her a cheap promise ring and told her everything a girl wants to hear. She finally decided she’d take the step, but not before she got on birth control pills. I’m so glad she at least knew better than to believe him when he said he’d ‘take care of everything.’”
“What happened?”
“A Friday night, a cheap motel, and a couple drinks and it was all over with. The next time she went to work, he’d told all the guys what he’d done and he didn’t want anything to do with her.”
“That’s sick, Ryan. I mean I know those kinds of guys are out there, but it’s so hard to understand how he could treat her that way. What did she do? Does she still have to work with him?”
“Candace is like a little sister to Andy and Ty, so when she came home crying and upset and they found out why, they showed up in the parking lot after he got off work and they roughed him up. He quit and she hasn’t seen him since.”
I could picture Ty and Andy doing that and, due to their size, I’m sure they scared the crap out of the guy. “I can see why that worked,” I gave a light laugh.
“I don’t think I could have been happy with just roughing the bastard up. He would have had some broken bones if I’d gotten my hands on him. But I don’t understand why she’s so willing to put her trust in me. She wanted me to go home with her and it’s been years since she’s seen me.”
“You’re one of the good guys, Ryan. I think any girl can tell that about you once she gets past the tattoos and the wise-cracks. Did you do what I told you? Did you tell her why you’re hesitant?”
“Yeah, when she and I went for that drive Sunday before she went home, I told her. I thought it might freak her out a little bit, but she was-well, I think it was a turn on because she was all over me.”
“It is a turn on, you nit-wit,” I laughed, squeezing his arm tightly.
“Why? I’m not going to have a clue and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to start right out the gate being a rock star.”
Now I was really laughing. I never would have thought he would have stated it quite that way.
“What’s so funny,” he demanded.
“She’ll remember it for the rest of her life and I’m sure it won’t take you long to be her personal ‘rock star.’”
“So were you-were you Micah’s rock star that first night?” he whispered quietly in my ear.
“That’s a little personal, Ryan,” all my teasing evaporated.
“I have a feeling you were,” he continued, not realizing just how uncomfortable he was making me.
I pulled away from under his arm and got up and went into the bathroom. Washing my face and trying to keep from breaking down as I recalled my few days of heaven in Micah’s arms. I missed him so badly that, just like the love in his heart he described for me, it hurt, physically inside.
“I’m sorry, Leese,” he said, standing in the doorway. “I had no business asking you that.”
I broke into sobs as he wrapped his arms around me. “I miss him so badly. I thought it would get easier the longer we’re apart, but I swear I think I could actually let his family get slaughtered, just so I could have him again for a little while.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You’re stronger than that, but I hope someday you’ll realize you can’t keep going on alone. Micah would understand if you-”
“Only if he knew why. But, if he knew, he’d kill D’Angelo and then the mob would kill him and his family anyway. I can never tell him why,” I choked. “I hope I never have to face him because I don’t think I have enough strength to turn him away. You have no idea how hard it is to want to see someone with every ounce of your body and, at the same time, want to avoid that person just as badly.”
“I had a taste of it, but you’re right, I guess I don’t know what you’re really going through.”
I looked up into those penetrating blue eyes and searched, without words, for what he was referring to by saying he’d had a taste of it.
“When you got married, I knew my chance was gone. I had to force myself to go to the wedding and I nearly lost my courage to find you and dance with you, because I just knew it was pointless. Then when I saw your mom and his brother at the hotel and she invited me to have dinner, I opted to take your sister to a movie instead because, even though everything inside me wanted to see you again, I knew I couldn’t take it-I knew you’d been with him and… I just couldn’t take it.”