He was holding me and shushing me, whispering that it was going to be okay.
How could it possibly ever be okay? How could anything stop all the pain I was in?
“You!” I snapped, suddenly feeling an angry, boiling tide rising up inside me. “Why did you come looking for me?! A few more minutes and I-I would have been gone!” I yelled at him. I balled my fists and thrust them hard against both sides of his chest, pushing him back against one of the seats. “Why didn’t you turn away when you saw that he had me?! Damn you, Ryan!” I hit him again and again, but he didn’t try to stop me. I looked into his beautiful eyes and finally saw the tears running down his face. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed as he pulled me into his arms and held me. “I’m so, so sorry-it’s not your fault-I’m so sorry.”
We sat there together for several long moments as he rocked me gently back and forth, “I’m going to take you home,” he finally whispered. “I’ll stay with you tonight and-”
“No,” I refused, a little bit of sanity returning to my muddled brain. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’m staying with you until-”
I pulled back and, even though having him help me through the night was what I wanted more than anything in the world, I lied with all the sincerity I could dig out of my soul, “I-I really want to be alone.”
He smoothed my hair away from my face and looked at me with his still teary eyes, “Are you sure?” His voice was quivering, so I knew my refusal was causing him pain.
“Yeah, I need some time by myself.”
He didn’t say another word, he just took me home and walked me inside.
The house felt horribly empty and hollow-so very, very lonely. I shuddered as I looked at my surroundings almost as if it was the first time I’d ever seen it.
“Please, let me stay with you, baby girl,” he pled.
“Go home, Ryan.” I was trying to sound convincing, “I’ll be okay.”
“Candace and I will pick you up for church.”
“No-I-I’d rather stay home. I don’t think I’ll be ready to see anyone tomorrow.”
“Well, you’re going to see me because I’ll be here after church. You can talk and I’ll listen, or we can both be quiet and I’ll just hold on to you, but I’m coming over.”
I nodded numbly as he embraced me, but kept my arms folded in front of me. If I hugged him back, I’d break down again. He kissed my temple, my ear, and then my cheek, whispered he loved me, and then he was gone.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Micah had never known the kind of pain he was experiencing. He thought the first time was the worst, until he actually held her in his arms and felt her push away. He heard it from her own lips that she chose Ryan. But, that wasn’t what he experienced before Ryan showed up. She yielded to him immediately, actually wanting him to kiss her. She didn’t want him to stop, and she asked him to take her, but she never got to finish the sentence.
There was a plethora of venomous obscenities caught in his throat as he remembered Ryan’s words. ‘baby girl’-he actually was calling her baby and that was so ludicrous and unacceptable to Micah. She was his and no one should be allowed to call her that. He tried to let the fury inside him subside. He had been completely irrational since he met with D’Angelo earlier in the day. His emotions were so raw and impulsive he had barely been able to stop himself when she stepped between them; and they were becoming harder to control by the minute.
He wondered if D’Angelo had done something to him when they had lunch because he hadn’t felt right since. His heart had begun to beat faster and a light coat of sweat seemed to perpetually wash over him. D’Angelo tracked him down the day before and was furious about the entire affair. In particular, he wanted to know how long Leese had been aware that Micah owned the show. Why he needed to know that Micah couldn’t understand, but D’Angelo never asked anything without reason.
“She doesn’t know anything,” Micah stated as they had a private late lunch meeting. “I haven’t shown myself, but I will during the party in a few hours. I’m going to get her back.”
“You’re a fool if you think she’s going to come back and live the life of a mob wife.”
“I’m not staying in the mob. I’ve gotten out once and I can do it again.”
“You aren’t going anywhere-we have unfinished business and I am not releasing you from your obligations to me. You agreed to do what I needed in exchange for David.”
“South America was for David.”
“No,” D’Angelo growled, “I said he would help you with that job to reestablish his trustworthiness, but I told you that you would belong to me again. I have been looking for you for weeks and I don’t like being ignored.”
“Then I’ll do what you need done, but I’ve got to finish this job first.”
“Are you going to kill her boyfriends-all of them?” he sneered.
Evidently D’Angelo had been following the tabloids and was referring to Ryan and Sadarius. Micah knew that the stories weren’t true. Not that Sadarius wouldn’t like to be with her, that was obvious, but Micah had kept a careful eye on the two of them. He could tell Leese wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. “I don’t think she could forgive me for that, but all I want is to confront her about why she left me and beg her to come back.”
D’Angelo had an expression that was difficult to read, it seemed to be a cross between fear and disgust, “Begging hardly seems your caliber, Micah.”
“It depends on what’s at stake-she is worth begging for.”
“So you’re telling me after you confront her, no matter how this turns out, you will come see me and finish what I need done?”
“I’m finishing this season’s shows. Just what do you need?” Micah said with his suspicions exposed about what D’Angelo was really after this time.
“You’re taking out a boss.”
“No,” came immediately out of his mouth. The boss was the very head of the family; a man to be respected at all times and to be obeyed at all costs. D’Angelo wasn’t second in line so what could he possibly benefit by taking out the head of the family?
“Not the head of our family,” he clarified. “There is another family that is receptive to uniting with us, but their Boss is against it. It won’t be easy, but you’ve handled things more complicated.”
“Which family?” There was something very wrong in all of this and Micah wanted to know who was behind it.
“No need to give out too many details right now. No one else could be trusted to do this for me and I won’t give up if the family has to convene again about letting you out. I don’t need to remind you about your secrets.”
“They’re your secrets, too.”
“Don’t threaten me, Micah. You aren’t that valuable.”
“Evidently I am,” Micah stated finishing his meal. He stood from the table and downed the last of his glass of wine, “I will finish what I’m doing with this show which, by the way, has proven to pay out more than anything I’ve ever made with the mob.”
“Sit down, Micah.”
Micah seemed to be locked at the knees.
“Sit,” D’Angelo reiterated.
Micah slowly lowered himself back in the chair as D’Angelo poured him another glass of wine, “So, you’ve aroused my interest. You’ve done well with the show. How good has the investment been?”
“I’ve tripled my money-so far.”
D’Angelo finally smiled, “I will admit your little whor-girlfriend,” he corrected, “is an excellent singer. She may have a future doing this. Did you know all along she could sing?”
“I heard her sing just days after I got the job to kill her. She thrives on music and I even used an iPod when I proposed to her.”