“Darren.” He stopped in his tracks, refusing to turn around. “Darren, please, you don’t have to leave.”
He turned slowly around. He shook his head before finally speaking. “I thought I could handle this. I thought I could handle being around you. I even thought I wanted to be around you. And I do. I see you, and it’s like dangling this incredibly wonderful memory in front of my face, tempting me to touch and taste and take everything I always wanted. And in one moment I want it so much I can barely walk away, but in the next, I remember just how much caring about you hurts. You’re like a poisoned apple.” His voice had that husky, choked-up edge again, and she let out a quiet sob at nothing more than that.
His eyes teared as his focus shifted to her chest, and after a moment he shook it away. “I know you need to be here for your mother. I understand that. But I can’t stay here anymore. I’m giving my notice at the hospital, and I’m going to relocate as soon as they can find a replacement.” Her own tears filled her eyes and then fell to her cheeks, and she sucked in a shaky breath as her heart seized painfully in her chest. “I just can’t do this. It’s too hard.” He turned from her but paused before he reached the door. “I shouldn’t have touched you. It won’t happen again.” Then he was gone, and the moment she heard his car pulling away, she sank back to the floor and sobbed.
This was somehow far worse than his hatred or anger.
Chapter Ten
Six Years Before
“I think Dare has a crush on you.” Jess was sprawled out in the seat next to Bailey as she started Darren’s car. Bailey tossed her a completely contrived look that said bullshit, and even tossed on a snort of incredulity to seal the deal. “I’m serious. Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed. You’re a shit liar. Always have been.” Jess looked wiped out after dancing for a solid hour straight. Bailey was exhausted too—more from fighting off Jess’ attempts to drag her onto the dance floor too.
“Your brother has a girlfriend, in case you forgot.” A response that actually didn’t require she lie to her best friend. But she glanced away from Jess too quickly. Busted.
“Something happened.” Jess’ voice wasn’t questioning. Her brow was furrowed in concentration as she tried to read Bailey’s mind. “I’m right.” Still not a question.
“Jess, don’t be ridiculous.” But she looked away too quickly again, and soon Jess was chuckling beside her. Bailey started chuckling too. Couldn’t seem to stop.
“Fine. I’ll just ask him. He’s about as good a liar as you are.”
Bailey pulled from the parking spot and approached Seawall Boulevard. She paused for a moment, taking in Jess beside her rifling through her purse. “You can’t be serious, Je—”
“Look out!” Jess’ hand grabbed the wheel, yanking it hard to the right, turning farther into the right-hand turn Bailey was in the process of making and, thankfully for them both, swerving her close enough to the curb to keep them out of the path of the delivery truck she’d just pulled in front of. “Fuck, Bay! You sure you’re more sober than me?”
“Thought I was.” She giggled, and Jess joined her in another round of laughter. Bailey’s heart was in her chest from the near miss, but she was too busy laughing to pay it much mind.
“Hey, are you sure you’re okay to drive?” She was still trying to decide if she was sure she had any remaining bladder control.
“Uh . . . whew! Yes, Jess. I’m fine. I really didn’t have that much, and I laid off the past hour or so. I’m definitely better off than you.” She steered Darren’s car back in line with the flow of traffic, and soon they were headed down Seawall Boulevard, her heart rate was normal, and she was reassured that she hadn’t actually peed the seat of Darren’s car—no way in hell she could ever live that down. Thank God for small favors.
“Yes, I did have a might bit more than you, but I danced it all off.” She was laughing beside Bailey, holding her cell phone in her hand. She’d forgotten all about her threat to call Darren for the skinny on Bailey’s odd behavior. “So, you were going to tell me what’s going on with you and Dare.” Bailey should have known better than to settle into complacency around Jess. Jess was on a mission, and she was die-hard when she was motivated.
“Nothing. Okay? Just drop it.” She almost sounded annoyed when she responded, but fortunately for her, Jess didn’t get her panties in a bunch too easily.
“Fine.” Jess said nothing else. She didn’t need to. Her fingers moving over the numbers on her cell phone’s keypad were speaking loud enough, and Bailey was starting to panic, even through the giggles she was trying to stifle.
“Jess! Stop!” She was still laughing, so it didn’t sound very convincing.
“Hey, Dare. So, I’m hoping you can help me with a little mystery—”
“Jess, dammit!”
She reached over for the phone, grabbing just as Jess opened her mouth to continue, and then her heart was in her throat again. Jess screeched beside her—the sound so loud it felt as though it could break her eardrums, but the sounds that followed put Jess’ scream to shame. The sound of crunching and bending metal were suddenly surrounding them. Bailey’s body was being thrown side-to-side, and she could feel the shift in gravity as her seat belt gripped her. She was pinned in the most horrifying roller coaster of her life, feeling her body’s weight trying to fly but being held and yanked back into place by the straps of the belts. They cut into her, choked her, tried to tear through her body. She knew they were flying, rolling, and there was no counting how many times before they were finally still again.
She coughed. It smelled like burning rubber, but when she opened her eyes, there was no smoke. The smell of gasoline mixed with the smell of tires, and it felt suffocating. She heard shouting. She couldn’t figure out where it was coming from at first, and then she remembered Darren. He’d been on the phone. It was his voice she was hearing, but now there were others. Distant yelling and shouting coming from outside the car.
“Jess . . . Jess.” She coughed. Her lungs were on fire. Her chest was burning. “Jess, Darren’s still on the phone, you have to. . .” Then she realized she was gripping Jess’ phone. She held it like her hand was a vise, and it was the first time she realized her hand was clamped down so tight on the phone that her fingers were stiffening. “Oh . . . never mind. I’ve got. . .” She looked over at Jess. She was staring out the window toward the ocean with her head resting on the head rest. How the hell had they actually managed to land upright? “Jess? Jess?”
“Bailey!” She lifted the phone to her ear, realizing again that she’d still not responded to his screaming. She could hear sirens now, and the voices from outside the car were getting closer.
“Dare. We’re okay. I don’t know what hap—Jess?” She turned to Jess again, reaching for her hand, and when she shook her slack hand, it was as if a slow, creeping tendril of terror seized her body. It started on her skin, slowly working its way around her neck and squeezing the panic into her body as she gently shook Jess’ hand. “No . . . no,” she was whispering, and she held the phone up near her head. She could hear Darren trying to talk to her, trying to get her attention. The desperation in his voice didn’t compare to the desperation coursing through her body, and so she ignored him. “No, no, no, no.” Her voice was getting louder. It was panic. Her terror was turning to panic, blinding panic that left her gasping for air and unable to breath.
Bailey reached for her chin, pulling Jess’ face toward hers, and then she screamed. She screeched, and she fought, and she kicked, and she sobbed. Her mind started to swim in a heavy, murky sea of muck that seemed to fill her body and make her limbs heavy. This wasn’t her life. This was someone else’s life. This wasn’t happening. She started to fade, the weight of the murky muck she was drowning in was suffocating her into darkness, but even as her mind went black, she could hear Darren in the phone yelling for her, screaming in a hoarse desperation for a response. The sound of his terror mixed with the images of Jess’ lifeless, staring eyes looking at her from her blood-streaked face.