“I’m sorry.” She had no idea what to say. She understood exactly what he was saying, but she was clueless how she should respond.
“Don’t say that. I’m not asking for an apology.” He walked up to her then but didn’t touch her. He was close, and it was almost more uncomfortable to not be touched when he was standing so close than it would be if he’d just reach for her. “But I’m asking for something else.” Her heart was suddenly in her throat. He’d moved past his own nerves, and his dark eyes were searing into her. It wasn’t seduction, regardless of what he was proposing. It was an intense question that had sucked the air out of the room and left them both frozen in place.
She said nothing for an uncomfortably long time, and he kept his composure impossibly and perfectly. The moment she tried to get her diaphragm to move, her breath left her in a rush, and he chuckled very quietly for a half a second as his nostrils flared and he inhaled deeply. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.” He watched her, likely gauging just how possible it was to avoid her discomfort. But this was an odd discomfort. The kind that was exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.
“You want to sleep with me?” Why did her voice sound so quiet? It was already quiet in her cottage, and her voice should make some impact on the dead silence, but her voice was so whisper soft that it could have been drowned out by nothing more than the whir of a fan.
“Sleep.” His face was almost amused, but he seemed a bit too serious to pull it off. “I want to make love to you.” Then as she watched, he released a sigh and he shook his head. “I don’t want to pass it by again. I’ll accept it if I have to, but I refuse to think we could really live a whole life and not have that between us.” He seemed as dumbfounded at the thought as his words suggested he was, and she understood. “But I don’t . . . maybe it will just complicate things more. You’re leaving, and I understand that. I respect that, and I know why, and. . .” He was rambling. “I don’t want to do more damage—”
“I don’t think that’s even possible at this point.” He stilled as she spoke. He knew she was right. They’d fucked up their relationship beyond recognition. “We can’t hurt this anymore than we already have.” She couldn’t believe she was reassuring him that this was a good idea, but she understood very well, and what she was saying was true. They’d destroyed this. They had little to lose but this. This she could have. One night. One last decent and good memory to add to the few she had stored up of them. There was just too much pain, but this would not be pain.
Or would it? Would she be able to let go? Would he be able to stow the anger that popped up so easily? Her face had fallen; she could feel it in the slackness of her muscles, and she could see it reflected in his own expression. He reached for her cheek, and she flinched inadvertently. It was as much from surprise as it was from fear. He’d never physically hurt her in her life, and she trusted he never would, but there was just so much baggage, and he was more capable than any of destroying her emotionally. This couldn’t become that or it would end her.
His face looked stricken, shocked that she’d flinched, but then her eyes teared, and he pulled her into his arms, shushing her quietly with his lips to the top of her head. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered. “Just remember how we used to be. That’s all I want for us right now. Just the two of us. No pain.” She listened to his words, and she did exactly that. She remembered. His gentle touch. The way he was always just a bit too close. The way she let him invade her space. The trust. The warmth. The protectiveness. She closed her eyes, and when he scooped her up in his arms, she remembered his smile.
She held tight to him, burying her face in his neck, and she blocked out everything that hurt in her life, and she remembered everything that had felt so good once. He laid her on top of the sheet that was still on her bed, and she watched as he undressed silently. She was still completely shocked she was going to do this, but there was no saying no to this. Right or wrong, she couldn’t walk away without it, not when he was so ready.
His body was such an impressive thing. He was strong and lean, and his height wasn’t towering, just commanding. His stomach muscles were toned and tight, and as she looked at them, they danced and twitched. Her eyes flashed to his, and he was watching her closely. She wasn’t sure how she’d managed to ignore his cock that was standing high on his stomach, but the moment her attention shifted back down, that’s where it stopped. Her lips parted, and she sucked in a quick breath before she could stop herself. As she watched, he gripped that impressive breadth, and he stroked slowly up, rounding the head, and then sliding back down.
She sat up, pulling his hips to her, and when she touched the pearly bead of cum on the tip of his penis, she trailed it down the length of him as he watched. He uttered her name and brushed his thumb along her lower lip. She licked around the head as he hissed, and when she parted her lips and pulled him into her mouth, he groaned. She set a slow rhythm, rising and falling, letting him push to the back of her throat, and then pulling her mouth back along the length of his shaft. He was moaning, and his grunts were choked out as she moved. He stopped her quickly, dropping to his knees and placing his hands on her legs.
She was still dressed in a T-shirt and underwear, and he slowly trailed his fingers up her thighs and then worked her underwear down her hips. She lifted her bottom as he slid the fabric down her thighs, and once he’d pulled them from her ankles, he looked back to her eyes. “Take your shirt off for me.” She reached for the waist, pulling the shirt up her chest and off over her head. His eyes zoned in on her breasts, and he kneeled up, latching his mouth to her nipple. He pulled hard, and she whimpered at the incredible suction. He released the pull, and he kissed, sucking her nipple gently into his mouth and releasing it quickly this time. It soothed the ache, and when he moved to the other side, she waited for the same. The pain of his initial suction was swift, but he quickly replaced that incredible tension with a soothing, laving kiss; she melted at the contrasting sensations.
“Spread your legs wider.” He kneeled back on his heels, and her legs trembled as she slid them apart. He lifted one heel, planting it on the bedrail. Then he lifted the other and did the same. It propped her knees up high, and when he asked her to scoot to the edge of the bed, he watched her seriously as she moved forward. He pulled her hips to teeter on the side of the bed, and she looked down at him. She leaned back on her hands and just watched.
He kissed first, parting her lips with his fingers. He pulled her clit between his lips, sucking and toying with the hardened nub, and he kept his eyes on hers the entire time. She just whimpered, unable to stay quiet as he tormented her arousal. Next he licked, and she watched as his tongue trailed slowly up from her entry to the hardened peak. Then he sucked hard. He pulled her clit into his mouth, lashing across it swiftly with his tongue. She was trembling, gasping, and groaning, and when he abruptly stopped, she thought the world had ended for a moment.