He switches between both breasts and I’m panting.
“I’ve fucking missed you,” he groans against my skin. He’s still touching me, as if he’s afraid I’m going to disappear. “I’ve missed all of you.”
His lips move away from my breast and drift down.
I keep my eyes open and watch him. The temptation to close my eyes is there, but I want to be wide awake for this. I want to watch everything.
His head drifts further down my body. His hands tighten against my hips imperceptibly.
I feel his breath against my stomach. I move restlessly against the sheets. Teeth scrape against the curve of my hip. By this point I’m trembling. Lachlan stops and lifts his head.
“Do you want me to keep touching you?” he asks, his voice a low growl.
“Why ask me that?” I pant. “You know I do.”
“When I touch you, I want you to always remember it comes from me and no one else.” His fingers drift over my hips, across my inner thighs. “I want you to never forget me.”
He leans in, his lips inches away, but he doesn’t move. He hasn’t even started and I’m already trembling.
Lachlan leans in and kisses me in between my legs. Even though I’ve been bracing myself for him to touch me, my back arches up off the bed. It’s impossible to stay perfectly still. As his mouth moves over me, he watches me the whole time. But I can’t keep his gaze. My eyes close and my head falls back.
My hands curl into fists. I want to grab him. I want to tilt my hips this way and that, to find the perfect angle, but I know he’s building me up. His tongue moves in one quick sweep upward. I gasp. My body jerks. He hits the perfect spot at the perfect time. It is almost vicious what he’s doing to me. My legs keep moving against the sheets. One leg is angled outward. The other curves around his shoulder. I’ll find any way to get closer to him.
Up and down his tongue brushes against me, driving me into a complete frenzy. I try to keep up with him for as long as I can. This uncontrollable feeling sweeps through me. My blood roars in my veins, feeling like tiny pinpricks moving underneath my skin, and my control breaks in half.
I grab the back of Lachlan’s head, my fingers curling into his hair. I move my hips, finding my rhythm. It creates a friction that makes me hook my legs over his shoulders.
His hands curve around my thighs, fingers tighten and he presses me closer to his mouth.
Every muscle in my body tightens. I’m tingling everywhere. My hips lift up. Lachlan holds on, his mouth quickly moving against my skin.
There’s this amazing second where I’m so blissfully numb. I scream out his name.
My body drops to the mattress. I stare up at the ceiling in a complete daze. I’m panting, relishing in the aftermath. Pure bliss. That’s the only way to describe it.
Lachlan lifts his head and gives me a come hither smile. His hands move up my thighs and back down. I watch him with heavy lidded eyes.
He sits up and reaches for a condom. I prop myself on my elbows and watch as he puts it on. His hands are quick. He meets my gaze. His hair is mussed from my hands. His eyes are wide and shining with lust. Chest heaving. He has this wicked grin on his face as he looks over my body.
He doesn’t ask or wait. His elbows fall on either side of my head, knees touching mine, and he surges into me.
“God, you feel good,” he whispers hoarsely.
Those first few seconds my body stretches and I can barely breathe. It’s delicious agony. His hand wraps around my neck gently and when he’s fully inside me his forehead rests against my own.
His hips start to move in a semi-circle. The entire time his gaze remains fixed on mine.
He pushes deeper. My legs lift. My shins brush against the sides of his ribs as I tighten my grip around him, pushing him deeper inside of me. My eyes almost roll into the back of my head.
“Who’s with you right now?” he demands.
“You are,” I pant.
“Good. Remember that,” he says gruffly before he switches our positions. He’s beneath me, and I’m above him. My palms lay flat against the hard wall of his chest.
“Who’s in control right now?”
I look down at our bodies.
“Me.”
“Yes, you.” His hands curl around my hips, gripping me tightly. “You have me where you want me.”
His words are thrilling and send a quick jolt of lust throughout my body.
I move slowly at first, watching his face. Just like he had watched mine.
His fingers dig into my skin. But he doesn’t guide. He lets me have all the control.
I feel myself tighten around him, and he groans.
I start to move faster and my muscles start to ache. My pulse feels like it’s vibrating against my skin.
His large hand travels from my neck to the back of my head, bringing me down to his face. His hips are thrusting frantically.
The bed squeaks.
The two of us are panting.
Sweat coats our skin.
The sheets rustle beneath us.
All these sounds are amplified until Lachlan gives one final thrust and calls out my name.
“Naomi!”
I will always remember the way he said my name. His voice was so raw. His feelings were exposed and out for the entire world to see. This is a man that will take all my pain, gather it up, and take it as his own.
I collapse on top of him. My forehead rests against his shoulder. His chest heaves. We stay like that until our heartbeats slow down.
I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless. So I move off him. Lachlan is lying there, with his forearm draped across his eyes, but when I move he lifts his arm and blinks rapidly.
He takes the condom off, tossing it aside and reaches for me. “Come here,” he growls.
I love the deep timbre of his voice, raw from shouting. It makes my lips split into a lazy, satisfied grin. He wraps his arms around me, holding me so tightly against him.
Sex.
Love.
Fucking.
Call it what you want but they are all the same. Each one requires you to give a piece of yourself that you can never get back.
But with the right person, everything will align perfectly. The world stops turning on its axis, time slows and you realize that while you’re losing a piece of yourself, you’re also gaining something in return. What they give you fits you just right.
That’s how I will always feel with Lachlan.
He holds me and I know I’m safe.
32—FIRE
1 year ago
I’ve decided that love is a sickness.
But not at first.
At first it’s delicious. Just like a dessert. Nothing compares to that first bite. And you don’t savor, but you become ravenous. You know this could be the best thing you’ve ever had, so you keep tasting, you keep taking. Your greed clouds reason and by the time you realize you’ve gone too far, it’s too late. The love is gone and you’re left with nothing but pain.
If I knew all this, why was I setting myself up for the pain?
Twigs snapped underneath my shoes as I paced. The moon was out, chasing away the heat. In the distance I could hear crickets. I didn’t stop to appreciate the sounds or the peacefulness of this moment. I was too angry at myself. Angry that I had answered Lachlan’s call last night. Angry that I had agreed to meet him here.
He said that he’d be flying in today and staying for a week. Once upon a time, Lachlan coming back home would’ve made my entire year. But after that kiss everything had changed. I thought things would remain the same, but I was wrong. The summer I turned eighteen, I waited and waited for him, but he never came home. He’d said that it was a busy summer with his internship and he said that with his carefree voice, like he knew that I would always be in McLean, waiting for him. But could I blame him?