Yeah, this’ll be fun. Sitting with a bunch of belching, farting, horny football idiots hitting on skanks like Sarah. Why did I bother coming?
“Jenna?” I turned and looked at her.
“No way. I’m staying right where I am.”
“Thanks a lot.” I rolled my eyes and walked to Jaden. He pulled me into his arms, kissing me deep and hard. I felt nothing. No butterflies fluttering, no sizzle, no jolts of electricity. Nothing. Unless you counted the way my mind was still swirling with thoughts of Brody. Not good, not good at all.
I sat and drank the strawberry malt Jaden ordered me—I wanted vanilla—and listened to Jaden and his friends talk endlessly about football. I talked with the girlfriends of the other players, but I didn’t know them well. They were all cheerleaders and had their own little clique. I was the odd one out.
When Jaden started mingling from table to table, I got up and wandered to the booth where Jenna and Tim were. Brody was still there, along with some of my other friends. Kara was next to Brody.
She’s so close that her shoulder is touching Brody’s. She has plenty of room on the other side to scoot over. She doesn’t have to sit so close. Why am I so jealous? I don’t care. I’m with Jaden. Jaden, who isn’t paying any attention to me. Jaden, who knows my secret and holds me prisoner.
As soon as I walked up to the table, Brody told Kara to scoot over. He moved so I could sit next to him. I looked into his eyes and then at the seat. I opened my mouth, but closed it without saying anything, shaking my head slightly and hoping he saw that I wasn’t rejecting him intentionally when I walked past, sitting next to Tim on the other side of the booth. I glanced at him under my lashes.
“Are you ready for the calculus exam?” I asked him, reaching out and lightly touching his hand, which was lying on the table in front of me. He glanced down where I touched him, but didn’t move his hand. I hoped that was a sign that he understood why I didn’t sit next to him.
“Yeah, I think so. Although, that chain rule is a bitch,” he said, looking into my eyes.
I smiled. “It’s tricky. You have to be careful.”
Brody nodded and turned to look out the window. Kara took that as her cue to talk. She and Brody flirted back and forth a half an hour before I couldn’t stand listening to it any longer and stood up. “I have to get home. I have homework. See you guys tomorrow.” I walked away, not waiting for their goodbyes. Jaden was talking to a bunch of football players when I found him and told him I was leaving. He barely stopped talking long enough to pull me down for a kiss goodbye.
I was halfway across the parking lot when I heard someone call my name. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Brody jogging after me. I turned and kept walking. “Brody, you’re gonna start something with Jaden if he sees you out here. Go back inside.”
“I’m not afraid of him.”
I sighed. “I didn’t say you were. I just don’t want another scene.”
“If he wants to start something, let him. I’m willing to take the risk,” Brody said, reaching out to touch my arm.
“Don’t you get it? I don’t want to see it! I don’t want to take the risk, okay? Look, you might think you’re hot snot on a golden platter, but you’re really just a cold booger on a paper plate. Go back inside.”
He laughed loud and free. “I don’t know what to say to that except, go out with me,” he asked when his laughter faded.
I took a step back “Wh-What?”
“Go out with me.”
“I’m not interested in a booty call, Brody. I’m not the type of girl you’re looking to hook-up with.”
“You don’t know what type of girl I’m looking for. Go out to dinner with me or a movie. Even the mall if you want. You can drag me through all the stores looking at every piece of clothing, or we can play board games with your parents on family game night. I don’t care what—just spend time with me. I think about you all the time, Willow. When we’re apart, I count the minutes until I can see you again.”
“I’m with—”
“I know you’re with Jaden, damn it! I don’t know why. You aren’t happy, and it kills me to see you with him. You’re hiding something. I can see it in your eyes, but I’ll respect that you have your reasons for staying with him, and I’ll keep everything just friends. That’s all. But I want to spend time with you. I need to spend time with you.” He paused, looked at the sky, and took a deep breath like he was deciding what to say next. When he looked at me, his face was open, vulnerable. “You’re special, Willow. We belong in each other’s lives.”
I looked down at the ground, making circles on the pavement with the tip of my tennis shoe. There was so much I wanted to say to him—that I felt the same way. That I thought of him all the time too. That I thought we could make a great couple. He got me, understood me, more than anyone else. And I wanted to say yes. I wanted desperately to tell him I’d go out with him. It was all I could do to keep the word from popping out of my mouth. Things were fluttering in my chest, and my hands were shaking. My brain was screaming at me to take a chance… to give him a chance.
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m dating someone else.”
“As a friend. No expectations. Not a date. Just friends hanging out, spending time together. We can invite Jenna and Tim if it makes you feel more comfortable. I just want to spend time with you.”
Jaden burst out of the door with a couple of his football buddies. They were laughing and talking, not paying attention to Brody or me. I looked at them over my shoulder and then back at Brody standing in front of me. “Text me,” I said just as I felt Jaden’s arm fall over my shoulders.
“I thought you were leaving?” Jaden asked.
“I am.” I smiled up at him.
“You want to go for a ride?” He grabbed my chin with his hand and held it while he kissed me. I didn’t close my eyes. Instead, I looked for Brody. He was in his Jeep, looking at me. Our eyes met for a brief second before he drove away.
“I can’t,” I said when Jaden broke the kiss. “I have too much homework.” Standing on my tiptoes, I kissed him gently.
“Okay. Another time.” He smiled and patted my rear like I was one of his teammates. I hated that.
I didn’t know who else to text. Jenna wasn’t answering me, neither was Tim. I didn’t trust anyone else. I wasn’t even sure why I trusted Brody, but I did. So I texted him and hoped he’d answer me.
Me: Can I ask you something?
He texted me back almost immediately.
Brody: Yes.
Me: If I needed a favor, would you do something for me without asking a lot of questions?
Brody: ?
Me: I’d ask someone else but Jenna and Tim aren’t answering. I don’t know who else to ask. Please. I just need someone who’ll do this and not ask questions.
Brody: Ok. What?
Me: I need a ride home.
Brody: Where are you?
Me: St. Mary’s ER.
Brody: On my way.
I was sitting on a bench outside the emergency room when I saw Brody jog across the parking lot. Standing, I walked toward him.
Please don’t let me start crying. I can’t cry.
“Wait. I’ll drive around and pick you up,” he called.
I shook my head. “I’m fine.” I cursed the slight tremor in my voice.
He reached me, and we stood staring at each other in the dark parking lot. An awkward silence hovered between us. “Um, so you said not to push you, but does that mean I can’t ask if you’re okay?” Brody finally asked.