I nodded. “And?”
“I just left and went to the bathroom anyway. She hunted me down and yelled at me through the bathroom stall. I yelled some four-letter words back. I wanted to throw my tampon at her, but decided that might’ve got me suspended, so I didn’t.”
“Good call,” I said, trying not to laugh.
I paced my room, waiting for Brody to get there. I was so nervous.
Get over it. It’s Brody. He’s the last person I have to be nervous around.
The girls’ choice dance at school was in two weeks. I’d never been to one. Jaden didn’t do dances. This would be my first official school dance with a date. Providing, of course, Brody didn’t find them as repulsive as Jaden did. But even if he weren’t all that thrilled with school dances, he’d go if he knew I wanted to. Brody was like that.
I took the small slip of paper out of my drawer and read it for the hundredth time. A small smile curved my lips. Brody loved my sarcastic T-shirts, but I couldn’t wear one to the dance. So I wrote a sarcastic saying on a piece of paper, planned to show it to him, and tell him I’d pin it inside my dress so he’d know it was there.
The doorbell chimed, and I flitted down the stairs. “Hey, Ace,” I said when I opened the door.
“Hey, you.” He leaned down to kiss me just as my mother walked into the room. Curse her. He pulled back. “Hello, Mrs. McKenna. It’s nice to see you again.”
“Hello, Brody. Thank you. It’s nice to see you, too. Everything well? School going alright…?” She let her words trail off. I was shocked she’d even said that much.
“Yes, ma’am, I’m fine. School is great, although I find some of the material boring as it’s a repeat from my previous school.” Brody rocked back on his heels and gave her a small smile.
Although I loved that my mom liked Brody and was interested in him enough to actually start a conversation, I had to break up the Brody love-fest. “Come on, I want to show you something.” I reached for his hand and pulled him toward the stairway.
We were halfway up the stairs when the door leading from the garage into the kitchen slammed open. It hit the wall with a boom before it bounced back and slammed shut. I jumped and swung my head in the direction of the door.
“Willow!” he barked.
“Oh shit,” I breathed.
“What’s wrong?” Brody asked. When I didn’t answer, he pulled my face to him. “What?”
“Janine! Where is she?”
“Ralph, what’s wrong?” I heard my mother ask in her soft, comforting voice.
“That little slut daughter of yours, that’s what’s wrong.” He spat the words. So full of venom and hate, I flinched as though they hit me.
I felt Brody stiffen beside me, and my heart sank. I knew what was coming, and I knew Brody couldn’t be there for it.
“Hi, Mrs. McKenna,” Jaden said.
Jaden? Jaden. What is Jaden doing here?
“Jaden.” My mom acknowledged. “I didn’t expect to see you hanging around.” I could hear the false cheerfulness she forced.
“What the hell is he doing here?” I whispered.
Breathe. Just breathe.
I heard Ralph stumble around. His voice was closer, louder. “She’s been dating someone behind Jaden’s back. The whore. Where is she?”
“No, no, no.” I looked at Brody and shook my head. “I didn’t… I didn’t…” I shook my head, my mouth opening and shutting as I floundered for something to say. “Brody, I didn’t… I love you… I… no.” I still shook my head.
I put my fingers on my temple and pushed so hard it hurt. My mind was whirring, putting the pieces together as quickly as I could. Jaden had gotten to my stepdad, the one person who’d always been in his corner. According to him, Jaden could do no wrong, which is exactly why I’d kept Brody a secret from him and Jaden as long as I could.
“Ralph, calm down,” my mom said.
“Please, Brody, please, you have to go,” I told him, looking over my shoulder. I tried to push him toward the door. It was like trying to push a wooden bookcase full of books across a carpeted floor. He wasn’t moving. “We’ll talk later,” I whispered. “I promise. Please.”
“You’re back with Jaden?” Brody looked at me, confusion and hurt in his eyes.
I shook my head no. My mouth opening and closing as I tried to think of someway to explain what was going on, but I needed Brody to leave so I said, “Yes.” I nearly choked on the word. Bile rose in my throat and I felt my mouth fill with saliva, the kind a person gets right before they puke. It was sickening to say I was with Jaden, even if it was a lie.
Brody nodded once before looking into my eyes. “Tell me why you’re back with him and I’ll leave.”
“I love him.”
“You’re lying.”
“No. No, I’m not. I love him. Now leave, please.” I opened the door to push him out; he stood firmly in place.
I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.
Oh, no!
“Brody,” I whispered. “Please leave. You can’t be here... we can talk later on the phone and I’ll explain everything.” I pleaded with my eyes for him to go. “If Ralph sees you… please.”
He didn’t move.
I panicked and said the first thing that popped into my head. “We can’t be together. I’m not in love with you. I never loved you. I love Jaden. I used you to make him jealous.” I tried to think of anything hurtful I could say to him that would get him out of the house as fast as I could and keep him away.
Please go, hurry, hurry.
“Willow!”
I jumped, sucked in a sharp breath, and slapped my hand over my mouth to keep quiet. I could feel tears pressing against the back of my eyes.
“Brody, you have to go.” I jerked him by the arm toward the door. When he didn’t move, I looked at him and yelled, “Go!”
“Who are you yelling at, girl? You best be watching that smart mouth. Get your ass in here. Now!” he shouted.
Oh, he sounds really drunk. Please leave, Brody. Somehow, I hope you know I love you. Always will.
Brody walked slowly out the door. His eyes searched mine. Placing a hand lightly on the side of my face, in a broken voice, he said, “I love you.”
It took everything in me, but I made myself jerk away from his touch. “Goodbye, Brody.” I was screaming inside. ‘No, no, no! I love you.’ I couldn’t hear anything over the screams in my head and the blood rushing behind my ears.
The first tear rolled down my cheek just as I shut the door. I laid my forehead against the scarred wood and felt a sob ricochet through my body. It sliced through my insides like a shard of glass. Saying goodbye to Brody, hurting him, was more painful than anything I’d ever felt. It ripped through me more than any punch. It stole my breath worse than any kick, tasted worse than my own blood after getting backhanded. I’d gladly suffer through any of those to take back the hurt I’d seen in Brody’s eyes. The hurt I’d put there.
But he had to leave. If he’d seen Brody here, he wouldn’t have just hurt me. He would have hurt Brody.
I wasn’t worth it. I had to make him stay away.
Breathe. Just breathe. You’re strong. Breathe.
I sat in the emergency room, my arm cradled against my chest. I’d been there three hours, waiting to be called back to see a doctor. Ralph dropped me off with an order to call when I was finished. My mother wanted to come with me, but he refused. Said he hadn’t seen her all week and didn’t want her to spend time in the emergency room instead of with him. Of course, she acquiesced. Nice. Thanks, thanks Mom. Makes me feel loved.