He sat up, concerned. “Why?”
“Because they hold a court order that says the hospital can evaluate me at any time. My stepfather tells them when I do anything wrong and then they decide if they come take me away.”
“What are you talking about, Jude?” He sat up, needing the full story, trying to understand. “You’re not crazy.”
“I’m not. I swear to you. I’m not, but they treat me like I am.”
That line she always noticed when he asked questions appeared, deeper than usual this time. “Where do they send you?”
“Bleekman’s. It’s a terrible place. They try to turn people crazy so they can collect the money from wealthy families. I see it. I know what they’re up to. It’s a private facility. The drugs, the… doctors.”
He noticed her hands shaking as much as her voice. Unable to face his fears, he looked away when he asked, “What do they do to you? Tell me.”
“Not today. It’s been such a beautiful day.” She held her ring out again and smiled. “If I don’t wear it on my finger, I’ll wear it close to my heart. Always.”
Clasping her ringed hand between both of his, he looked her in the eyes. “Jude, I need you to tell me what they do to you.”
The spark left her eyes and a haze replaced it. She struggled to keep eye contact and tried to pull her hand away, but he wouldn’t let go. He leveled his eyes on hers and though she knew she could trust him, she could see his anger building before she even spoke. Taking her free hand, she touched his wrist and stole an ounce of his strength before saying, “They force me to take drugs that numb me, numb my mind and body. Then I get locked in a room with a window that has bars and peeling paint. I actually feel safe in there, in the isolation. Until the door is opened in the middle of the day, after lunch at twelve fifteen like clockwork, and the doctor does a check-up.”
He swallowed down the will to suppress this conversation and asked what he wasn’t sure he was prepared to have answered. “What’s involved in the check-up?”
“Let’s just say the abuse didn’t end with my uncle’s death.” She got up, book and box in hand, and took the path toward the street.
“Be honest with me. Is that the reason you don’t want to go to my apartment? You don’t want to be intimate with me?”
“I don’t go to your apartment because if I don’t return home, I go to Bleekman’s.”
He sat there, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. Today’s information hit him hard. This girl he was falling in love with was wearing a ring he’d just given her and yet, he wasn’t protecting her like he should. How did he not know any of this before now? He tried to control his anger, but that wasn’t going to happen. “You’re not going back to Bleekman’s,” he shouted.
He followed her. She turned around when he got close, and said, “Don’t you see how much I love you, Hazel?”
Love was in the air, in her heart, and filled his, but her forthright declaration surprised him.
Through the cleansing of the darkness, she was looking at him bathed in light. The spark returned to her eyes when he neared and his hands went around her waist. He lifted her up, eye level with him, and kissed her. When he set her down, he said, “I love you more.”
With a teasing smile, she said, “You said your gifts didn’t cost much.”
“It’s only money, Jude. Money doesn’t matter. Love does.”
Jude started opening up after that. The stories were hard to hear, but he would listen, would ask questions, and would comfort her the best he could. He just wished he could open up as easily. Telling her about his illness seemed like a daunting burden he didn’t want to place on her. She had enough to deal with.
In late February, they were waiting in line, a coffee for him and hot chocolate for her, outside his work on his lunch hour, when she said, “You would have liked my brother Ryan.”
He tried not to make a big deal when she offered these insights into her life up, but it was hard to just wait to see what she would say. “Was he like you?”
“No. He was strong.”
“I think you’re strong.”
“You say that because you don’t see me but for a few hours each day.”
“I say that because you’ve survived and still have the ability to make others smile.” He smiles and points at it.
That made her laugh. He loved hearing her laugh. She laughed quite often with him and it made him wonder if she laughed when they were apart. “Tell me more about Ryan.”
“Ryan was a lot like you—handsome and smart.” She rolled her eyes. “Girls were all over him all the time. It was quite annoying actually. He was two years older than me and would have done great things in life, if given the chance.”
Sensitive to the subject, he whispered, “How did he die?”
“He didn’t have a fitting death for the life he led.” They moved up in line. “He was hit crossing the street here in the city. Two cars racing. In Manhattan. It would have never ended well. Someone was destined to die. I just wish it wouldn’t have been my brother.”
“Me too.” Taylor put his arm around her shoulders and they ordered their drinks. When they walked away, the moment had passed, and Jude was onto another topic. Each time she shared a little more of herself, of the life she hid from him, he started to feel he understood why she kept them hidden.
Mid-March. On a Saturday that couldn’t decide if it was winter or spring, Jude felt very much that she and Hazel were star-crossed lovers. One day felt like perfection, the next complications from their secret affair overshadowed their day. Despite the mixture of emotions, she stopped when she found they were walking by The Plaza Hotel. People were coming and going, rushing past them as she stood there, looking up into hazel eyes that adored her. “We should go in.”
It wasn’t a suggestion and he took full advantage of the offer. “How much longer do we have?”
“Two hours left.”
He didn’t run, but he might have rushed the doors and up to the registration desk. “One room please.”
The woman behind the counter glanced to Jude and then to Taylor, for whom she smiled. “Certainly. One room for the night. Check-out is eleven in the morning.”
The plastic of his credit card slapped against the counter, and he replied, “That will work.”
Taking the card in hand, she looked at the name and up to him. “Very well, Mr. Barrett. No luggage?”
“Nope. Spur-of-the-moment trip,” he said, smiling.
Jude lifted up on her toes and whispered, “Are you sure?”
“Never more so.”
Looking around the lobby, she knew it was time, so with her back to the desk, she said, “I want to have you over for dinner with my family.”
“Really?” he asked, shocked.
“I’ll tell my parents about us tonight.”
“Do you want me there?”
“No,” she replied, coyly. “I should break it to them first. I’ll have to explain when I’ve been seeing you. I haven’t been telling them the full truth. I tell them where I go, but I don’t tell them who I’m with, so I don’t know how they’ll react.”
He took her hand and kissed it. “That’s why you take the brochures?”
“That’s why.”
Jude spoke to the front desk attendant, “Can we have champagne sent up to the room. We’re celebrating.”
Peeking up at Taylor, he had one eyebrow raised, then said to Jude, “Yes, we are. Several times over if we have it my way.”
“Have I ever told you how much I like your way? Especially when you have your way and move your tongu—”
“Sir!” the woman said, interrupting. “Your card. Please sign here and here is your room key.”
Taylor signed for the room and took the key. After listening to brief directions, the two walked together toward the elevators, a shared secret on their lips.
THE FUNNY THING about fate is one can’t outrun it. No matter how much they try, setting their sights on a different outcome, they will always end up exactly where they were meant to be.