They ordered another round of drinks when their lunch was delivered. Taylor glared at Rufus. Rufus grinned at him, and then crossed a line. “Judith?”
She looked up, surprised he was addressing her directly.
He asked, “We should go out sometime. Got any plans tonight?”
Taylor’s hold on his knife tightened. He turned his wrist so the utensil was turned upside and he stabbed downward. His vision briefly blurred and he almost lunged across the table, wanting to take him down, but this time Jude’s hand landed on his thigh, her soft touch strong enough to hold him in place. “Actually,” she replied, looking directly at Rufus. “I already have plans.”
“With Taylor?”
“No. With my family. We spend a lot of time together.”
“Oh. That’s… quaint.”
The fork made another pass over the salad she ordered, but Jude could barely eat. She checked her watch and saw their opportunity passing too quickly. She thought of the room upstairs and how she could possibly get Rufus to leave so she and Hazel could enjoy it. But like a leech, he stayed to suck every second out of their time together until Jude finished her wine again. “I’m sorry, but I need to go. I promised my family I’d be back by four.” She rubbed her forehead. “And I’m not feeling that well.”
“That’s an hour from now. You have plenty of time,” Rufus said, touching her hand. “Stay a while longer.”
Her skin burned in an entirely different way than when Hazel touched her. “I’m catching the subway and I need to find a station.”
This was news to Taylor. He was just about to suggest a cab, but Rufus spoke first, “Stay a bit longer and I can have my driver take you home. Let’s just finish lunch first.”
He wasn’t asking. He was telling her, and Jude had no excuses come to mind. She didn’t dare look at Hazel. She knew he was boiling inside. He had a jealous streak, a possessive side that she was first introduced to the night of the dinner. It was a side she saw in spades that night, but hadn’t seen since. Until today. His knee knocked into hers, hard.
A sure-fire way to shake Rufus was with the obvious. She coughed, and then said, “I have to make a stop for girl stuff on the way home. So thanks, but I’ll be fine.” She stood up abruptly and dropped her napkin on her plate. “Thank you for your help with my friend’s problem.” She looked at Hazel, only Hazel, and said, “I’m sure they’ll find a way to work it out.”
“I’m here, if she needs help. Please let her know. She can tell me anything. Anything at all and I’ll work with her to come to a resolution to keep them together.”
“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” Rufus asked, finishing off his third beer.
Her gaze lowered as disappointment set in, their afternoon a lost cause. She glared at Rufus. She hated him. Everything about him reminded her of the other men who took liberties at her expense—her uncle, the doctor, her stepfather.
When she turned back to Hazel, she replied, “Thank you for everything.”
She started digging into her pockets for money, but Hazel said, “I’ll take care of your lunch.”
“Thank you again.”
Hazel stood, being polite. Rufus remained seated. “See you soon, Judith.” The way he said her name made the hairs on her arms stand on end. She nodded and left, hurrying as fast as she could.
Her head was beginning to spin and she was starting to feel confused. In the lobby, she stopped and touched her temples. She hadn’t taken her meds that day. She didn’t need them. She never really had, but she felt woozy like the last time she tried to commit her life to the ever after.
She ran outside and had them hail a cab. Hopping in, she gave her address and leaned against the window, trying to catch her breath. Each breath was weighted in her chest. This wasn’t right. She hadn’t mixed. She knew better. These days she had too much to live for. But when she was dropped off in front of her home, the driver went and knocked on the door, as she stood there motionless at the bottom of the stoop. Roman took one look at her and his lips wavered down. He paid the cabbie and took Jude by the arm, helping her inside.
“Why are they doing this to me?” she asked, staring blankly ahead as she walked up the stairs, counting each step to the pink bedroom. She started to cry as the wave of her reality, of her life, came crashing down inside her head. Roman shook his head and in his quiet sympathy, she got her answer. “They’ve been drugging me all along.”
JUDE MADE HERSELF throw up. She wanted to sleep it off, but she wanted this feeling to go away more. But no amount of sickness would expunge the betrayal. She tried to lean against the wall next to the toilet to rest, but the knife in her back hurt too much. So she remained leaning on her arm across the seat and rested her cheek on her wrist.
Nadia came in a short time after, or maybe it had been hours. She wasn’t sure of the time. Nadia helped her up and wiped Jude’s face with a cool cloth. Jude’s voice was soft, so soft when she made the accusation, “You knew, didn’t you?”
“I did know.” Her reply was curt. She was always direct and to the point. Jude never much cared for her because of it. Nadia added, “You don’t need the medicine, do you?”
Jude shook her head. “They’re making me take drugs for problems I don’t have.”
“I’m sorry, Judith.”
And for a moment when their eyes connected, she saw behind the stiffly starched uniform and hard lines on her face. Through her jaded vision of her, she finally saw empathy for the first time. That made Jude want to cry, but she held it in, both for Nadia’s and her sake. “You don’t have to do it, not anymore. Not for them.”
“I do as I’m told. This is a good job.”
And like that, the gentler side she had shown was gone again.
Forty-five minutes later, Jude sat on the other side of a formal tea, across from her stepfather and cousin. Her mother and aunt were out shopping. Her stepfather chewed methodically—sixteen times each bite. Her cousin refused to meet her eyes because she knew all too well what was going to happen and she was never one to stop it.
“Wine,” her stepfather started, “is a violation of the order for good reason. You could die. You could overdose. Mixing alcohol and these medications could kill you, Judith. We can’t let you die.”
You’re killing me every day. The thought came to her, but she didn’t voice it.
“The hospital recommends an evaluation.”
Jude closed her eyes as her fingers dug into the velvet chair. “Please. No.”
“It’s a violation.”
Her eyes flashed with anger as they locked on his. “I didn’t know I had the drugs in my system, did I?”
“We’ve told you not to drink. You were doing so well, even passing it up at the last dinner party. What made you drink today?”
A knock on the front door interrupted them and her stepfather got mad. “Do they not know it’s tea time?”
Isla jumped up and peeked out the window. A broad smile appeared. “We have a visitor.”
Roman, not thirty seconds later, announced, “Mr. Rufus Stevens.”
Isla rushed around the crudités and greeted him with both hands and a kiss to the cheek. “What a pleasant surprise.”
Rufus and Jude set their eyes on each other, but Jude immediately looked down. He sounded happy when he said, “I came by to check on Judith. She wasn’t feeling well at lunch.”
Her stepfather looked between the two of them. “I didn’t know she had lunch with anyone.”
“Yes, Sir. Taylor Barrett and I were honored with her company today.”
“You and Barrett, huh. Interesting.” He smiled at her, and said, “Why didn’t you say so, Judith? I’m glad to see you’re making proper friends.”
Jude’s gaze glided from her stepfather to Rufus, who stood grinning at her. “Yes, Judith. You should tell your family how we spend time together.” Full of arrogance, he added, “I actually wanted to take Judith out tonight, but she said she had made plans with her family. I love my family immensely so I understand the devotion.”