Despite the humiliation he felt from his weakness, he felt more when holding out his hand for her to see. No level of comfort she could give would take his shame away. But he showed her anyway. “It’s not shaking right now, but if you watch really closely, a tremor will shoot through one of my fingers.”
She took his hand between hers, warming it with her love, then brought it to her cheek and held it there. “So when this happens, does it hurt?”
“No.”
“That’s good.” Taking his hand, he brought it to her chest and put it over her thumping heart. The heartbeats were strong, stronger than any tremors he had experienced. “Do you need medication to help?”
“Only when it’s bad. It’s not been bad except when I was in the hospital. But yes, I’ll need daily medication and treatments as it progresses.” He kept his eyes on his splayed hand across her chest. “Jude?”
“Yes?”
“Do you think less of me now that you know?”
He loved that she didn’t hesitate to answer. “I think more of you now that I know.”
He moved his hand back to her cheek, cupping it this time. “Why?”
“Because,” she said, “you had all of this happening to you, but you were only ever concerned about what was happening to me. You’re brave. You know that?”
“I don’t feel it sometimes.”
After kissing the palm of his hand, she leaned into it. “It’s not just about the outside, but also the inside that makes us who we are. And to me, you’ll always be strong.”
“Please remember that when I’m weak.”
“I will be your strength when you are weak. Just as you have been for me.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Jude.” His hand dropped down.
Taylor started to turn away, but she stopped him. “Payback has nothing to do with it. It’s love. That’s what you do for the people you love.”
“You have been shown so little love in your life and yet, you give it selflessly to others. How did I get so lucky?”
Grinning, she said, “It’s not luck, my dear Hazel, but good fortune. I was always told that good fortune comes to those who wait. Well, I’ve been waiting for you my whole life and I’m going to appreciate every day we have together.”
How could he walk away after that? He couldn’t, so he leaned against her, her back to the bar and kissed her temple, then the other. “My medical file is on my laptop. When you’re ready, you can look through it. I won’t keep any more secrets from you. I promise.”
“I love you.” She rested her head against him and listened to his heart.
As his arms wrapped around her, he said, “I love you more.”
Jude spent the afternoon sitting at the drafting table, clicking on his laptop between his medical file and the browser tab with the medical terms defined. When she closed it, she sighed heavily and looked out the window. “That’s heavy.”
“You’re telling me.”
When she glanced over to the couch, two books were stacked next to him, but remained unopened. She felt confident. “It’s not insurmountable though.”
“What are you suggesting?”
Getting up, she made her way over to him and sat square on his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and said, “That we live each day to the fullest.”
“Carpe diem.”
“Carpe diem.”
Taylor flipped her onto her back and began tickling her, loving to hear her laugh. Squirming beneath him, he stopped the pleasurable torture and giggles turned to moans when he started to kiss her. One moan led to more and they made love on the couch in the middle of the afternoon.
As the afternoon chased the evening, Jude paced the living room, internally debating. Hazel had asked her to sit down or talk to him, but she never heard him. The fear building inside her was overpowering any outside noise. At five o’clock, she announced. “I need to go. I need to deal with my family. If I leave now, I can be home for dinner. I’m in the mood for Chinese. Can we order delivery?”
“Of course,” he replied, watching her move around the kitchen searching for something he believed was a distraction to the issue. “I’m going with you.” Her stress had become his and stress gave him tremors. He tucked his hand in his pocket and walked into the bedroom.
When she joined him, she said, “No. I’m going alone. It will be better. If I can smooth things over, we’ll set up a dinner for all of us. If it doesn’t go as hoped, I don’t want you dragged into that mess or to witness it.”
“I’m already a part of this mess. You can’t protect me from them. They either approve or not, but I don’t actually give a fuck if they do. I just care about you.”
“That’s why it’s best if I break this to them alone. I’m going into a battle and I want to win without starting a war.”
She was good. Very good, and she made sense. So he sat on the bed and watched her style her hair, and as if on autopilot, she pinned it back and up. She never bothered with makeup while here, which he liked, but he knew she would feel better while wearing her armor for this confrontation. Instead, she walked out of the bathroom with what he identified as her bravest expression of indifference, and said, “I want the Honey Chicken and an eggroll.”
“Hey, Jude.” When she came and sat next to him, he handed her his phone. “Call the home number if you need me or need anything. It’s the most recent number, so it’s easy to find. We’ll get you one of your own tomorrow.”
She took the phone and smiled while looking at it. “Thank you.”
“I mean it. I want you to call me the second you leave. I can meet you.”
“No, just stay here and order the food. I want a night of good food, maybe a movie, and my handsome, extremely sexy husband all to myself.”
He conceded, realizing she wasn’t going to change her mind. “You got it.” He rubbed her thigh, then whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She kissed him and stood up.
Grabbing her hand, he pulled her back to his lap. “Call me.”
“The second I leave,” she responded with an easy smile, then kissed his head.
Jude left Hazel and his worried expression in the apartment. As soon as she closed the door, her fears escalated. She had no idea how her parents would react to the news of her marriage or if Isla had already told them. But she found some consolation in the fact she would be able to make her own decisions soon. Her marriage gave her strength and confidence, but more than that it gave her comfort knowing she would be emancipated from her stepfather soon.
Thirty minutes later, she stood on the large stoop in her prettiest dress with the phone tucked into her pocket. She tried to fix her hair, but it was a windy day, so flyaway hair was inevitable. She rang the bell, not something she had ever done before, but this place no longer felt like home to her. She stood as an outsider to the place she’d called home for years, and she liked that.
Roman answered, and her heart started beating again. He stepped out, closing the door a bit behind him. “Hummingbird, you’re back.” Happiness to see her had overcome him. He stepped forward to hug her, but stopped.
She knew he halted because he felt he should, not that he wanted to. She ignored that invisible line that seemed to separate the two of them, not caring what her family would think. She hugged him because she cared about him. “I missed you too.”
“Are you okay?”
“Better than okay.” She stepped back and showed him her hand with the rings.
“You’re married?” he asked stunned.