What if…
What if…
What if…
She walked inside the room and touched the unmade bed, hoping it would give her guidance, a clue to where he was or if he was returning. The door shut behind her and she whirled around. She came face to face with Hazel himself, who was particularly smirky at the moment. “Looking for someone?” he asked.
Jude’s mouth opened, then closed, and opened again. “No. No one in particular.” She followed her heart and started for him, momentarily forgetting they weren’t together. Then detoured toward the door, but he leaned against it, blocking her from exiting.
“I think you were looking for me. I mean, why else would you be inside my hospital room?”
Yep, no getting out of it, so she confessed half-truths. She had no option but to face the man she let go months earlier because she loved him too much. She tried for casual. “I heard you were in the hospital and I was worried. So I was checking on you.”
While he stared at the one woman he loved, the only woman he would love long after this life, guilt overwhelmed him. “Jude?” he started, but stopped. He took a deep breath. “I tried to do what you wanted, but I can’t. I don’t love her.”
“I know.”
His hazel eyes pierced her heart, letting the rest of her truths bleed. “How do you know?”
“Because I saw you last night. I see you every day. Sometimes twice, if I was lucky.”
He restrained the huge grin that wanted to surface and gave her a smaller one instead, hoping to make her feel safe. “The whole time?”
“The whole time.”
As much as he loved to hear this revelation, now he felt bad. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? I just told you I’ve been stalking your every move and you’re apologizing to me?”
“The stalking, I’m not complaining, but I’m sorry for dating her, for thinking I could.”
“You don’t have to be. You were free to do so. You were trying to rebuild your life after I destroyed it.” She turned, putting her back to him and looked out the window with a heavy sigh. She didn’t love that he’d dated someone else, but she couldn’t blame him either. She’d practically set them up by pushing him away. And whether that was for his benefit or hers at the time, she refused to hold it against him. Anyway, she knew where his allegiance lay. Beyond what she felt deep inside, a bond that was never broken, she saw it with her own two eyes.
“But I know you don’t love her.” She turned around to face him again. “I know because I saw you together.” She reached out and touched the front of his suit, then took the jacket in her hand and fisted, pulling him closer. “I saw. I saw everything, then and now.”
His voice was but a whisper. “What do you see, Jude? Tell me.”
“I see your love for me.”
Abruptly moving forward, he grabbed her and kissed her. The stubble on his face grazed her skin, tickling and scratching. His warm, soft, but determined lips captured hers along with her heart and she kissed him just as eagerly.
A gasp broke the two apart and they twisted around toward the door. Katherine stood there with a hand over her mouth and shock in her eyes. “Taylor!” Fury took over her refined features and she spat, “Is this revenge?” When he didn’t reply, her hands went to her hips. “Fine. You win. We’re even. Now get away from her this instant.”
He didn’t move. He wouldn’t. Not again. Not from Jude. Not ever. “No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. I’m in love with her. I was from the moment I saw her. I was forced to leave the battlefield before. I’m not leaving her again without a full-on war.”
Katherine held her large purse in her hands and squeezed. “Taylor, what are you doing? Are you on drugs? Is the medicine messing with your head?”
“No,” he replied, smiling. “I’ve never been more aware in my life. And that’s because I’m with her.”
“But she’s crazy!”
In unison, Hazel gritted the words, “Don’t call her crazy!” while Jude said, “Don’t call me crazy!” They looked at each other and in that moment, when their true colors united once again, they both started to laugh. Maybe it was the kiss that had just tickled their lips, or the honesty that poured so freely from their hearts. Or maybe they were both just too tired to argue anymore. Taylor took Jude’s hand and held it. He turned back to Katherine, and said, “I’ll take her kind of crazy any day, over yours.”
Taylor walked with purpose, his hand tightly around Jude’s, and out the door. Katherine had stepped aside, too appalled to say another word. “But I brought you clothes.”
“Keep them.”
In the wide, sterile hospital hallway, Jude quick-stepped next to him and looked up. She had a million questions, but none of them seemed important right then. The man she loved was on a mission and she was the beneficiary of it. This is what she would take any day over the loveless days that had preceded it.
The sun hit their faces as they exited the building and Taylor didn’t ask which way or if she wanted to come at all. He knew where he was going all along. And once they took two corners and three blocks, she did too. He stopped once, to ask, “Why did you come back?”
“Because they were changing who you were. And you were perfect before.”
He seemed okay with this answer and they continued on. Ten more minutes without either of them offering anything more had led them to this point, and her feet slowed until they stopped. “I can’t go to your apartment, Hazel.”
“You’re not. You’re going home.”
“Semantics.”
“Our hearts don’t know the variances of words. Our hearts only know what they feel.” He kissed her again, simply because he could. If it reassured her, all the better.
When their lips parted, she said, “I don’t want to cause you harm or pain, or worry. Give it time, and I’ll come back.”
“I feel those things now,” he insisted. “Time won’t fix this. Time spends every second torturing me while we’re apart. Do you not feel that already? It overrides everything in my life.”
His hands were cupping her cheeks, so she covered them. The intense focus he had on her was felt like an explosion inside, reviving her latent heart. She relented, for him, for herself, and they started walking again.
Entering that apartment was like hugging an old friend—warm and comforting. The smell made her smile and the place made her happy. Hazel locked the door behind him and leaned against it. “I’m never letting you go.” Then a smile appeared and he added, “That’s not creepy in the least, is it?”
It wasn’t. Not in the least. Not to Jude. She stood with nothing but herself to offer him and the way he looked at her, that was enough.
Looking around, she saw the photo of her brother on the bookcase and went to it. It had been a while since she’d seen him, and through her soon-to-be freedom found in her new eyes, she saw his happiness. The sadness she once felt looking at it was gone.
Hazel and Ryan were a lot alike. Both gentle souls with passionate sides for the things and people they loved. She set the frame on the shelf and sat down at Hazel’s drafting table.
It felt like Christmas, and all the small memories wrapped in the apartment were like gifts to her soul. Sketches she thought he might not want her to see were scattered across the white surface. House plans mixed with familiar lips, eyes, a nose, hair, and a dress that when pieced together could have been a mirror. “These are beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.” He moved around her, giving her space though not much. Peering over her shoulder, he felt no shame in his pastime. “So tell me, Jude Barrett, why did you give up?”
“I didn’t give up. I let you be by setting you free. Isn’t that what the selfless do?”
“I didn’t want to be set free. I’ll happily be grounded to you forever.”