“I know. That’s why I had to do it.” She spun around and faced him as he sat on the couch. “You were going to fight until your last breath, but we were losing. You heard them—my sickness for yours. Yours for mine. Nothing could have changed their minds. Hazel,” she pleaded, “you have to start thinking of yourself. I loved that you were fighting for me, that I wasn’t alone, but it would be no victory if it came at the expense of your health.”
“I was fine until you ’set me free.’ Because don’t you see? It was never about you being sick or me fighting my disease. It was always about being together for as long as we both shall live.”
He sat back, crossed his leg over his knee, and said, “You once told me you married me despite my illness. Now you’re telling me you left me because of it. But I don’t see it. I don’t see it in your eyes. I don’t hear it in your words. I don’t feel it when we kiss. You love me. You love me no matter what my health because that’s what love is. Love bends and folds, straightens and secures itself to the one it cares about.” Sitting up, his enthusiasm was contagious and Jude smiled at his architectural references. “We’re tied together, fastened, and bonded. They can take away that piece of governmental paper, but we remain married in the eyes of God and in my heart.”
He was so easy to believe with his grand statements and flattering declarations. He was easy to believe because she agreed. “Our marriage can be annulled, but our love remains. Always.”
“Our commitment is still there.”
“You didn’t have sex with her, did you?” Jude might have been smiling to control her jealousy, but she was still hoping for only one answer.
Taylor admired Jude’s eyes that were persuasively blue today, against the backdrop of the light blue dress she wore. “No. But you know that already. You know what we have doesn’t go away because you convinced yourself you had to set it free.”
“I knew. I just thought maybe I should ask anyway. Isn’t that what normal girls would do? Ask if you did?”
“There’s nothing normal about you, Jude, which is exactly why I like you.”
She got up and settled onto his lap, tired of fighting the inevitable, and just not wanting to anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he rubbed her hip and back. “And I thought it was because I gave you my virginity.”
With a big cocky grin, he popped an imaginary collar. “I will proudly carry that V card of yours right here in my wallet.”
“Hazel?”
“Yeah?”
“We live in an impossible world,” she said, astonished she was back where she wanted to be. She was home. “Impossible like your eyes.”
“We’ll get through it together.” He leaned his head on her shoulder and she tilted hers to him. “Stay.”
THE SUN WAS setting and Jude could see the last of the rays disappearing between the buildings outside the window. The tea she had made earlier was now cold and she debated warming it up. But she didn’t want to move from Hazel’s arms, so she scooted closer to him and his arms tightened around her.
Hazel was right. That paper didn’t represent who they were to each other. Their souls were eternally bonded, and so here she would stay, his arms her safe haven.
“You’re not going back,” he breathed against her shoulder blade.
“There’s nothing there that matters to me.” She thought of Roman, but he wanted her to be free. Once she was, she’d find him to say goodbye. In the meantime, she rolled over to face Hazel. She looked at him. Really looked at him and leaned her head against his. “I will love you long after this life and into the next.”
“I’m counting on you.”
It was good to be counted on. She closed her eyes and in the comfort of their home, she fell asleep.
The next morning, Jude sipped coffee on one barstool. Hazel was on the other. The newspaper remained untouched between them. “Isla called newspapers antiquated,” she remarked.
“That’s why I like them,” he replied. “I like that the ink comes off on your hands and the smell of the paper. It’s real, not like reading online.”
“That’s why I like books. They give me something to hold on to when my emotions are unraveling from the story.” She touched his thigh, and said, “We should talk about what’s going on with me.”
His gaze left the mug and went to her face. Leaning in, he kissed the side of her mouth, then sat up. “Okay. What’s going on?”
“My mother fears for her life.”
“Ironically.”
“Yes. Ironically, but I’ve seen her twice. I might forgive her one day. I’m not asking you to do the same, but I might.”
“Can you? Will you ever really be able to forgive her?”
“She was manipulated when she was at her lowest. Ryan’s death devastated her.”
“Your life should have meant more to her after that then.”
“You’re right. I’m not defending her. I’m only stating that she’s a troubled woman who now fears for her life, but she fears for my life more and has offered to be there for me.”
Taylor absorbed what she was saying. “You can’t change the past so you want to change the future.”
“Yes. I don’t want to live with an angry heart. She’s seeing a therapist a couple times a week. All I can hope is that she gets the help she needs and is there for me when I need her.”
“You’re an amazing woman, you know that, Jude Barrett?”
She smiled from hearing the name. She smiled from being near the man she loved most. “There’s more. Caleb Monroe is filing a petition on my behalf today to win my rights back as well as including evidence to show wrongdoing by Bleekman’s and Dr. Conroy.”
Hazel dipped his head into his hand in astonishment and rubbed his brow. “Really?”
“There’s more. My uncle left me his inheritance or what I call guilt money. We’re suing for the entire amount back or what’s left of it.”
Taylor stared at her in complete awe.
“We have testimony from five different employees at Bleekman’s who have recorded statements on my behalf that not only did they have their job security threatened but that they themselves would face repercussions if they spoke up. Well, they’re willing to fight the good fight together.”
“How did… when did… Caleb?”
“He took me on as a pro-bono client so my family wouldn’t be able to trace any payments. And I’ve become friends with a nurse who works at Bleekman’s. She set me up with a psychiatrist here in the city, who also worked with me for free. After two months of counseling, I have his professional opinion that I am not insane as claimed by my family and Dr. Conroy.”
Taylor took a second to digest all that she just laid on him. “You’ve been doing all this by yourself?”
“Well, I had my friend Lacy, the nurse from Bleekman’s helping, but I had to. I had to fight back.”
Then irritation set in. “Why didn’t you come to me? I would have helped you. I would have done anything for you. Why didn’t you trust me?”
She touched his cheek, then kissed his chin. “I trust you with my life. I know you would have done anything for me, but I didn’t know if you were being watched, I didn’t want to give you false hope. Annnnd, I needed to do this on my own. I didn’t want to come to you the same as I was before. I wanted to be whole, to be free, for you, but more importantly, for me.”
Rubbing her knee, he found a renewed spirit in her words and a sparkle to her eyes. “I get that. I wish you would have come to me, but I understand the need to do it on your own. Do you have a date set?”
“I’ll find out soon. Caleb said he’d call me.”
“I can pay him for the time he’s put in on your case if you want me to.”
“He’s about to have a windfall when we win, so don’t worry.”
“You sound confident.”