‘Go back?’ asked Davy.
‘We were all friends.’
‘He’s got to choose between her and us,’ said Dario.
‘There you are,’ I said. ‘That’s what I mean.’
∗ ∗ ∗
‘We seem to have got things the wrong way round,’ I said.
‘What do you mean?’ asked Owen.
‘We never do anything normal, like go to a movie or have a meal or hold hands in front of other people.’
‘Is that what you want?’
I ran my hand down his smooth body and he shivered and I was filled with an unsettling joy: he seemed so invulnerable, yet when I touched him, he shivered. After the awfulness downstairs, the meanness, the violence, it had seemed natural to walk upstairs together, to hold each other. At the same time, I felt I was giving in. ‘You were good down there,’ I said. ‘Not everybody was. I’m not sure what I want. Just don’t talk crap to me. Don’t start saying things like you’re not ready for a relationship.’
He didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything. He pulled me towards him until my head was on his chest, his chin was on my hair, our legs were tangled under the covers, our hearts were beating together and I couldn’t tell which was mine and which his. We drifted off to sleep like that, until I woke in the darkness and sneaked away, like a thief.
The next two days were strange and unhappy ones in the house. An air of foreboding hung over everything. I tried to be there as little as possible, and spent more time than usual in my own room. Even so, it was impossible not to be aware of the feuds and factions, the whispering in corners, the slamming of doors, the sudden chill silences that would fall if Leah came into the kitchen.
Every so often one of the group would draw me aside to tell me what was happening or who had said what to whom. Pippa told me that she was now asking for more money from Miles. Miles told me that he was unable to go any higher in his offer and, anyway, he didn’t see why he should, and please could I act as a mediator? Leah told me she wasn’t going to let Miles give us any money at all and that Dario would be chucked out if (a) he didn’t start paying rent and (b) he didn’t replace the lavatory at once. Dario said he was never going to replace the lavatory, nor would he wash up, rinse out the bath after use, put out the bin bags, vacuum the carpet or do any other household duties, which, as far as I knew, he never did anyway. He said we should go on strike. Mick said nothing, but scowled more than ever. Davy said Miles should be given a way out, not be painted into a corner. I came in and found Davy replacing the lavatory.
‘Properly, this time,’ he said. ‘That Dario. I’m surprised we haven’t got cholera.’
Owen went away again, to Milan this time and for longer. Perhaps that was just as well. I tried to stay out of it all, but found myself drawn in when I reminded Dario that he still had to find his friend, Lee, and make him contact the police, and he told me I should watch out or I’d turn into Leah mark two.
A few days after Ingrid de Soto ’s murder, I received a phone call. I was about to leave the house and Davy called me back, holding out the phone.
‘I’m late,’ I mouthed.
He covered the mouthpiece. ‘I think it might be important,’ he said.
I sighed and took the phone from him.
‘Hello?’
‘Is that Astrid Bell?’ A man’s voice that I didn’t recognize: gravelly, self-assured, with a slight American drawl.
‘Yes,’ I replied warily.
‘My name is William Hamilton.’
For a moment my mind was blank.
‘I’m sorry, I…’ And then I remembered. Ingrid’s father. I felt a rush of emotion and took a deep breath. ‘I’m so terribly sorry for your loss.’
‘I’d like to meet you.’
‘I understand why, of course, but you should know there’s nothing really that I can -’
‘With my son-in-law, Andrew de Soto,’ he cut in. Then: ‘Please, Miss Bell. We won’t take up too much of your time.’
‘Of course I’ll meet you,’ I said, although it was the last thing in the world I wanted. ‘When’s good for you?’
And so it was that at three o’clock that afternoon I found myself walking into the foyer of a tasteful, expensive hotel in Covent Garden – so tasteful and expensive that the doorman didn’t blink at my Lycra shorts and stained top, but took my bike pannier and helmet from my sweaty grip and ushered me politely into a side room where the two men were sitting, a tray of tea things on the low table between them that remained untouched throughout our meeting.
‘Ms Bell,’ said William Hamilton, rising to his feet. He was a tall, burly man, with thick white hair, ferocious silver eyebrows over bloodshot eyes, and liver spots on the back of his hands. He wore a dark suit that had probably cost more than all the clothes I owned put together, but he didn’t seem to notice my outfit, shaking my hand firmly and gesturing me to an armchair. ‘Thank you for coming.’
Andrew de Soto was much smaller than his father-in-law. With wiry greying hair, cut short, and pouches under his eyes, he wasn’t at all the kind of man I would have imagined with Ingrid. He looked dazed, exhausted, and I noticed that his white shirt was buttoned wrongly,
‘I wish there was something I could do to help,’ I said lamely.
‘We realize, of course, that you have given your statement to the police,’ said William Hamilton, ‘but because you were the person to find…’ He stopped. I saw his large hands grip the chair arms. ‘You were the person who…’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I was. I came to collect the package.’
‘The package. Yes. I know that. The package that wasn’t.’ He scrutinized my face, then carefully cracked the knuckles on both his hands. ‘I’m a wealthy man, Ms Bell.’
I didn’t know what to say to that, so remained silent. Across from me, Andrew de Soto gave a single sharp cough.
‘Ingrid was my only child,’ he continued. ‘I will spare no expense to catch the person who killed her.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘Saying? Nothing. Nothing.’ He leaned forward. ‘What do you know, Ms Bell?’
‘Nothing,’ I said despairingly. ‘I didn’t know your daughter, Mr Hamilton. I never talked to her. I was just a messenger. It could have been anyone else who found her. It was chance that it was me. I saw her lying on the floor, I called nine-nine-nine, I smashed the window. That’s all. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, but there’s nothing I can tell you that the police haven’t told you already and nothing I know that you don’t.’
He rubbed his face with his hands. ‘It seemed important to see you, yet why? What did I expect to discover?’
‘Did she look peaceful?’ This was from Andrew de Soto.
I cast him a confused glance. Didn’t he know that his wife had been brutally murdered? Hadn’t they told him how her face had been slashed?
‘Yes,’ I muttered. ‘She did.’
‘Excuse me for one moment,’ said William Hamilton. He heaved himself out of his low armchair and made his way towards the lavatories.
As soon as he was out of the room, his son-in law leaned forward in his chair, jolting the low table. ‘She was having an affair,’ he whispered.
‘What?’
‘She was having an affair.’
‘Listen, I don’t know anything about that. Really. You have to tell the police and -’
‘I don’t have proof. Don’t you think I’ve searched for it? But I’m not stupid. I know.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. It seemed to be the only phrase left in my vocabulary.
‘And now someone’s killed her.’
Later I told the house about the meeting, but I wished I hadn’t. It made it sound somehow darkly funny, when it wasn’t at all.
It was my favourite time of year, late May, then early June, with the leaves fresh and bright on the trees, the sky a clear blue, the evenings long and soft and warm. I hated being unable to enjoy it properly. A whole part of my life seemed to be coming to an end, and coming to an end in a sour and messy way. Sometimes I would come home and not even go into the house, but retreat at once to the garden, where my vegetables were pushing their way up, sappy little shoots lying in neat rows along the plot I’d spent so many hours digging and weeding. And it was out here, four days after Kamsky’s visit, that I heard yet more noise erupting from the house. I laid down my trowel, wiped my hands along the grass to clear off the worst of the soil, and listened, trying to make out what was going on. At first I assumed it was one household member yelling at another, but I didn’t recognize the voice and couldn’t make out many of the words – just an obscenity here and there.