Being older and wiser in Kate’s eyes, she did everything he said. He researched pregnancy and nutrition extensively. She ate a special diet that was meant to limit her weight gain and maximize the baby’s health. He made her walk three miles a day regardless of the weather.
When she went into labor, he was a beast. She was miserable and having back labor. The baby wasn’t breech, but was facing the wrong way, so Kate didn’t dilate. The doctor offered an epidural to ease her pain, and Richard refused it, bullying Kate into going natural. It proved a problem when they decided to do a C-section and Richard fought that as well.
Kate had few memories of anything from that day, but she vividly remembered Richard telling her she was a failure as a woman, if she couldn’t do something as natural as give birth. Her doctor finally threatened to remove him from the maternity ward if he didn’t back off.
It turned out Kate and the baby would have died if they hadn’t performed the Cesarean.
Richard would have been crushed if he’d lost the baby, but Kate doubted he would have cared at all if he lost her. A month after Laura had been born, he hit her for the first time. She kept hoping he would settle down and become the loving husband she needed, but he didn’t, and no matter what she did, Kate ended up alone anyway.
Now she stood in the kitchen and looked out at her big backyard. She shook her head, wondering how this happened. She knew the biology, but how was it that shit just kept raining down on her? The abuse, the cheating and divorce, the custody problems, falling in love with a guy who was too young for her, and now getting pregnant—would it end?
Her biggest concern was the baby’s health. If she got pregnant in California, she was an easy two months gone, and she’d been living it up. She’d had alcohol on multiple occasions, had been in a hot tub, exercised vigorously, and actually lost weight. She placed both hands on her abdomen.
“Sorry, honey. Mommy will feed you better from now on.” She heard a car pull in the driveway and looked at the clock.
Eleven o’clock. Trish was right on time. Kate went to the side door and opened it just in time to launch herself into her big sister’s arms.
Patricia Adams-Reed had a life most women would envy. The wife of a congressman from a district just north of Atlanta, she had a fulfilling career as a research scientist with the Centers for Disease Control, two great kids, and a husband who adored her. She was stunning to look at, defying her forty-eight years with incomparable grace. She was taller than Kate, but with the same large hazel eyes and dark hair. It was her irreverent sense of humor and “screw the world” attitude that made Trish exactly what Kate needed.
Kate fell apart as soon as they got into the kitchen.
“Shhh, now, shhh.” Trish’s voice was laced with just the slightest drawl, the result of over twenty years in the south. “Honey, tell me what happened.” Kate stepped back, wiped her eyes on her sleeve and her sister placed a hand on her belly. “I’m going to be an auntie again?”
Kate nodded. “I-I can’t believe this is happening.” Her voice was hoarse, raw from the endless crying.
Trish took her arm and guided her to the couch in the den. The room was a mess, with tissues littering the floor and coffee table. “You need to tell me the whole story. First—who’s the daddy?”
Kate pointed to the table. There sat her laptop, and on the screen was the team website, featuring a photo of last night’s star of the game—David.
“What? Does he work for that hockey team?”
“Sort of.” Kate took the clicked the link enlarging the photo and pointed again. “David Burke. The hockey player. He’s the father.”
Trish blinked. Looked carefully at the picture and then back at her sister. “You shagged a pro athlete?”
Kate nodded.
“Goddamn.” Trish leaned back and extended her long, slender arm across the back of the leather sofa. “We have some catching up to do.”
Kate wiped her eyes with her sleeve, nodded, and launched into the story.
*
Trish hung on her every word, wiped every tear, and finally Kate got to the point she was at right now. Alone and pregnant. Kate was sniffling like a five-year-old with a runny nose. Trish walked into the kitchen and grabbed the box of tissues that was sitting on the counter. She wasn’t falling all over herself, so Kate imagined her big sis was a little peeved.
“I have to give you credit… you do nothing small. It’s like the old days.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Like Kate didn’t feel shitty enough already? Trish was going to lecture her now? She remembered what it was like. Perfect Trish never made a wrong move and Kate, well, that was something else.
“Never mind.” Trish sat on the coffee table and took her sisters hands in hers. “Have you made an appointment with the doctor?”
“I’m going tomorrow.”
“Good. I’ll go with you.”
“Okay.” Kate swallowed hard, relieved.
“You need anything from the store? Baby’s gotta eat.”
“I went grocery shopping. There’s lots of healthy food in the house and I got rid of all the alcohol.”
Trish shook her head, disapprovingly. “Oh, darlin’, that’s just a crying shame. After that story, I need a drink.”
Kate chuckled, but just as quickly turned serious. “I think I love him, Trish, but it’s not going anywhere.”
Her sister wrapped her in a big hug and when the phone rang, Kate picked up the cordless and froze. It was David.
“Please answer this.” Kate thrust the phone at her sister.
“Why? Who is…”
“It’s David.”
“Why is he calling you?”
“Trish, please?!” Kate was frantic.
Trish didn’t answer, the answering machine did, but her sister turned up the volume to hear David’s message. “Hi Kate, it’s David. I saw you called last night. I hope everything’s okay. I’m going on a short road trip tomorrow, but if you need to talk to me, well, ah, call back. Thanks.”
Trish listened to the click disconnecting the call and glared at Kate. “You called him?”
She nodded. “He didn’t answer, so I hung up.”
“He sounds worried, Kate. You should call him back.”
She didn’t say anything. Instead, Kate stood and walked to the kitchen to get some water.
Trish followed and leveled her gaze at Kate. Damn her sisterly instincts—she knew what Kate was thinking. “You are going to tell him, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Kate! You have to tell him.”
“Why?” She was serious. Why did he have to know?
“Because he’s the father?” Trish approached her. “Why wouldn’t you?”
The knot in Kate’s heart twisted again and she ran her hand over the plane of her stomach. “He’ll try to do the ‘right’ thing.”
“Is that a problem? There’s nothing wrong with doing the right thing.” Kate could see her sister didn’t understand.
“I don’t want to trap him,” Kate said. “It would be a disaster.”
Trish wrapped and arm around her shoulder and Kate felt more raw sadness than she could ever remember. The only thing that would be worse than being rejected by David was if he was with her out of pity. She knew that kind of relationship wouldn’t last. As much as she wanted to be with David, as much as she missed him, she couldn’t risk her heart again.
Chapter 15
‡
Driving into the city was never easy during the week, but Kate wasn’t going to take a train to see her obstetrician. Trish settled into the passenger seat of the Volvo, drank her coffee, and stayed quiet most of the ride. Her sister was never a morning person, and of course Kate had made an 8:30 appointment.
Kate’s mind was a little quieter today. She’d stepped off the emotional roller coaster sometime yesterday and actually had time to adjust to the idea of having a baby. She sat in the guest bedroom that was on the second floor right next to her room. It was big, but not huge, had lots of great light and a window seat. The floors were already refinished, so all it needed was some paint and new furniture.