*
Laura sat snuggled against Jack while they watched a movie. It was perfectly innocent. They’d been seeing each other for over a month, they really got along well, and he wanted to hang out at home. The only problem with the whole scene was that she’d cut school, taken the train to the city, and managed to find her way to his apartment in Washington Square.
“Do you want anything?” he asked.
“No, I’m good.” She leaned forward and picked up one of her mother’s books off the coffee table. “Have you read this?”
“Ty recommended it. It’s really good so far. Have you read any of her books?”
Laura shook her head. This was her mother’s first book, and it was published when she was in fifth grade. She flipped it over in her hands, opened the cover and landed on the dedication page. The words made her breath catch.
To Laura,
You are the light in my life…
Past, present, and future.
There was so much she didn’t know and it made her angry. At everyone. Jack’s hand ran over her shoulder.
“You look like you have something on your mind.” He cared about her, he really did.
She looked into his beautiful face and felt her mouth turn up at the corners. “Only you.”
He took one of her hands in his. “I wish I could fix whatever is making you so unhappy.”
Laura drew a breath, and not knowing what made her do it, started talking. “It’s my family. My parents hate each other and my dad’s fiancée is constantly pushing me to do things and say things to make my dad happy, and then I hurt my mother. And she never says anything, but, I don’t know, I feel bad.” Laura laid her head on his chest. “I’m a mess.”
“It sounds like a mess, but it’s their mess.”
“I wish I knew her better, you know.” She breathed out.
Laura thought about Mom having a baby and it made her sad she wouldn’t be part of it. There was someone her mother cared about and Laura didn’t know anything about him. How had this happened?
Jack didn’t say anything, but he kept rubbing her back.
“Tell me about your family,” she said.
“Not a lot to tell. I have two younger sisters; one is seventeen and one is nineteen. My parents have been together since they were fifteen years old. They run the farm together. We grow wheat and barley.”
“That sounds nice.”
“It’s really a beautiful place. I’d love to take you there in the summer. We could take the horses out.” His voice was so soft, so calm. “You can ride forever and not see another person. It’s so quiet, you can actually hear yourself think.” He paused and smiled at her. “That must sound strange to you.”
“No, it sounds amazing.”
“It’s home, that’s all.”
“I wish I belonged somewhere like that.”
His hand came to her cheek and he tilted her face toward his. “You belong with me.”
His voice was a whisper, and after he said it, he leaned in and kissed her gently, brushing his lips over hers, caressing her face. He made her feel like she was everything. Looking square into his eyes, Laura lost herself. He meant what he said, and for once, Laura did feel like she belonged to someone. She belonged to Jack.
He leaned in and kissed her again.
Each time she and Jack spent time together, they made out a little more. The last time, sitting in his truck in front of her house, his hand inched down into her jeans, his fingers pushed inside her a little, and she came in a great explosion in his arms. At first he’d been alarmed by the intensity of her response, but it didn’t take him long to figure out she was a virgin.
When Jack looked at her again, the darkness in his eyes put Laura’s body on alert. He was so incredibly good looking, she didn’t know how she would breathe, much less stay calm enough to make a rational decision. But that was when he kissed her and Laura lost her ability to think.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You’re so tense.” She shook her head in response.
She thought about how lucky she was. He was sweet and considerate, and he obviously liked her. His hands gently ran up and down her sides and her mind raced.
Eventually Jack would find out she’d lied to him. Would he still feel this way about her? Would he forgive her? Doubtful. He’d been straight with her and she’d been dishonest with him. He’d respected her feelings and she’d stomped on his. Jack wouldn’t want to see her anymore. So Laura had a dilemma. Did she walk away from a hopeless relationship with her virginity intact or give in, let the most wonderful guy on the planet take her to bed and wait until everything came crashing down?
Jack pushed her hair aside and brushed kisses up her neck, behind her ear and down her jaw. The most incredible heat flooded through her, along with a rush to her nervous system. Everything seemed to melt together, muscles and bones, to become soft and pliant under his hands.
His hands did the most magnificent things. How did hands that were so strong touch so gently? She didn’t realize when he’d cradled her in his arms and lifted her, didn’t realize when he’d lain her on his bed. Laura felt drowsy, hypnotized, and Jack stared at her like she was the most precious gift. That was what it was supposed to be like, a gift.
Jack kissed her and she kissed him back, feeling his weight settle next to her on the bed. Laura knew this was a mistake, but she was willing to make it for Jack.
He took the hemline of her sweater and tugged it off, did the same to his own and undid the button and zipper on his jeans. He moved closer to her, hovering over her, touching her, kissing the swells above her bra.
“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”
Laura trembled when she looked into his eyes and nodded. His hands caressed her, making her skin feel hot. Her own hands traveled over his shoulders and torso, her fingers stopping just above his waistband.
“You can touch me,” he whispered, easing her hand into his pants. “It’s just part of me.”
She gasped when she came in contact with his erection. Laura had never touched a man like that before and she tried to stay calm, and be mature, but it was so—big.
How would it fit inside her? Thinking about the pain, she pulled her hand away. “I’ve never… I’ve never…”
“I know, I know. Don’t worry.” He kept kissing her and easily removed her bra. She sighed when his lips brushed over one nipple. “The first time is about you. I promise.” He tugged at her pants and eased them off. Laura was only barely conscious of the fact that she was laying on his bed in nothing but a thong. His hands gripped her hips and his mouth left hot, wet kisses over the plane of her belly, and finally on the inside of each thigh. He slid her thong down her legs and when she tensed, he came up for a kiss.
“Shhh,” he said. “I promise, not ’til you say.”
She nodded, wanting to trust him, but thinking about how many girls he’d done this with and who else had been in this bed. She wondered if Marie was right. Did she have to sleep with him to keep him? If she did, maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Why me, Laura?”
She tilted her face toward him.
Jack was looking down at her with such sweetness all reason left Laura’s brain. His hand came up and touched her face so tenderly; Laura could only draw in a breath. His question took her by surprise, and put an end to all the questions running through her mind. He knew this was important to her, and he wanted to know what made him different. Just the fact he asked told Laura if she was going to be with a man, it should be Jack.
So Laura told him the truth. “No one has ever mattered enough until you.”
He brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her mouth. It was hot and hungry and Laura wrapped her arms around his neck and gave into it. He touched her and it made her burn deep inside. She didn’t know what he was doing, but the searing combination of pleasure and pain made her cry out.