“Most every time. Once we started having sex, that was pretty much all we did.” Amery put her fingers over his lips. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“But?”
“No buts. Although I am sorry that you’re hurting, I’m content to spend time with you like this. Without the pressure of sex.”
“Just because I haven’t pinned you down and fucked you like we both want doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.”
“I know.” She continued to stroke his hair. “Even if you were one hundred percent healthy, I still wouldn’t be all in for sexcapades.”
Ronin looked at her quizzically. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not ready to resume a sexual relationship with you. We need to reestablish intimacy first.”
“The sexual pull between us hasn’t diminished at all since we’ve been apart, and fulfilling those needs is the ultimate intimacy, Amery.”
“It is in part. Intimacy means sharing. Bodies, minds, thoughts. Parts of the past. Fears for the future.”
He stared at her. “My biggest fear is you don’t believe we have a future.”
She said nothing.
“Your silence is not reassuring.”
“I know.”
“So maybe I need to reassure you first. I swore when I got the chance with you again I wouldn’t hold back. On anything. Thoughts. Feelings. Actions. Words.”
Her heart raced.
“Maybe I need to start with the words and tell you that I lo—”
Amery put her hand over his mouth so fast his teeth connected with her skin. “Don’t.”
Ronin didn’t bother to hide his frustration.
“The only reassurances I need right now are that you’re taking your meds and giving your body time to heal.”
He pushed himself upright. “I am healing. But fair warning, baby. Just as you wouldn’t let me use my health issues as an excuse not to talk, I won’t let you use my health issues as an excuse not to rekindle our physical relationship. Because we both know we would’ve ended up fucking each other like crazy the first damn night after we talked things through, if not for my—”
“Visit to the hospital because of your fight injuries?” she supplied. “That’s a crap reason because we wouldn’t be here if not for that.”
“Wrong. I wouldn’t have let this break between us go on much longer.”
“Let?” she repeated.
Ronin caged her against the back of the couch. “Yes, let. This is not a temporary thing between us. Never has been, never will be. So I’ll let you try to push me away. I’ll let you try to convince yourself that you’re holding back from fucking me blind because I don’t understand intimacy. But we both know differently. And I’ll do everything in my power to prove you wrong.” He dipped his head and ran his lips along the edge of her jaw and down her throat until she shivered. “I want you. I need you. And in the end, baby, I am going to have you. All of you.”
Her will to resist went as mushy as her heart. Damn him.
He stood and grabbed his crutch. “Now, are you coming to bed, or what?”
CHAPTER FOUR
THE next two days passed in a blur of boredom.
Early the third morning, Ronin woke up annoyed that Amery had turned away from him during the night again. He spent an hour in the practice room working on katas. He blanked his mind to everything except maintaining the proper breathing and stance as he moved through the forms. For the first time in a week, he completed his usual routine without any breaks.
He climbed out of the shower, and the cold air chilled him to the bone. But Amery’s heated look when she handed him a towel set his blood on fire. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. The scrapes on your arms and knuckles are healing.”
He wanted—needed—more than just her eyes on him. He craved her touch. “Can you check the ones on my back?”
“Sure.” Amery moved in behind him, and he closed his eyes when her soft fingertips brushed his spine. “You’ve still got discoloration from bruises.” She swept her thumb across his left scapula. “How did you get injured back here anyway?”
“Probably from a takedown. Are there marks anywhere else?”
She lightly pushed on his neck until he dropped his head. More gentle touches across his shoulders. “One here. It’s on a bone, so it’s still a big lump. Does it hurt?”
Not when you’re touching me like that.
“You’ve also got a big knot in this muscle.”
As soon as her fingers connected with that sore spot, his skin broke out in gooseflesh. It’d been a lifetime since she’d put her hands on him.
“This tension is probably from how you’re holding the crutch.” She rubbed a few more times. “Any other tight spots?”
The skin covering his dick was getting tighter by the second—he couldn’t tell her that, but pretty quick it’d be obvious. “No.”
She moved to stand in front of him and placed her palms on his rib cage. “Does this hurt?”
“A little.”
Amery’s scent surrounded him so completely he couldn’t think of anything except pulling her into bed with him and holding her captive until she promised never to leave him again.
“Will any of these marks scar?” She inched her fingers down his belly.
His cock nearly leaped into her hand, and he willed the motherfucking thing to stand down. “Doubtful. They’re just bruises.”
“Just bruises, he says.” She traced the contusions with such tenderness he ached for more. “Such a tough guy.”
“I don’t know about tough, but today I almost feel back to normal.” When she looked up at him, he said, “Being this close to you and not being able to touch you like I want is killing me.”
Just like that, Amery sidestepped him. “I wanted to talk to you before I left for work.”
Allowing her retreat, he briskly towel dried his hair. “What’s up?”
“I think it might be best if I stayed at my place tonight.”
Ronin didn’t answer. He just waited.
“You’re getting better, and you don’t need me—”
Before she could finish, he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and brought her against his body. “Do you really believe the only reason you’re staying with me is because I needed you as my nursemaid?”
She blinked those big blue eyes at him.
“Answer me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do know, and that’s why you’re running. Guess what? That’s not happening.” He slanted his mouth over hers and kissed her. Not bothering to hide his hunger, not allowing her to retreat. Holding her in place until she responded with the passion she still felt for him but tried to discount.
The taste of her was hot and sweet. Heaven and hell because he wanted so much more from her than this small taste.
And he knew she wanted more too when she plastered her body against his, not caring he was wet. Fisting her hand in his hair with the possession he’d missed.
He forced himself to end the kiss. He brushed his lips over her chin and down her throat, holding her tighter when she trembled. “Amery, I need you. If I haven’t made that clear, then allow me to do so now. I need you in my life every day. Not just for the short term.” He nuzzled her ear and whispered, “Please. Stay with me.” He tipped her head back and smiled at her. But his smile dried when he noticed her tears. “Baby. What’s wrong? I thought we—”
“I’m scared. I trusted you once, and that nearly broke me.”
Ronin wiped the moisture from her face. “You walking away did break me. I threw myself back into those fights because I wanted the outside of my body to hurt as badly as the inside.”
Her eyes, her posture, everything about her softened toward him.