“That’s the question.”
“We go through hell to get that stuff, and now he’s got it, and he figured it out…” She said to me, “Washington is going to have a fit.”
I didn’t reply.
She asked me, “So, what’s the plan now?”
“I need a drink.”
“I’ll get you one at the reception.”
“Do you really know the Ambassador’s wife?”
“I do. I met her twice here in Hanoi, and I went shopping with her and her friends in Saigon, and we went to dinner. Do you play the guitar?”
“I lied. Do you know the Ambassador?”
“I met him in Hanoi at the embassy once, and at his residence another time.”
“Would he remember you?”
“Probably. He hit on me.”
“How’d he do?”
“He was doing fine until Bill butted in.” She laughed and put her arm through mine. “I can be a handful. But you can handle me.”
We came to another wide avenue that Susan recognized, and we turned left and continued walking. We approached a big lake surrounded by parkland and vendors, and people playing chess. On the lighted lake were an assortment of small boats, and I could see an island in the lake where a pagoda stood, topped with a red star. I asked, “Is this the lake where the B-52 bomber is?”
“No. There are lots of lakes in Hanoi. This is the Lake of the Returned Sword.”
“Is there a Lake of the Returned Evidence?”
“I don’t think so.”
We walked along the lake, and Susan asked again, “Paul, what is the plan?”
“Whatever it is, it’s my plan.”
She didn’t respond for a while, then said, “You still don’t trust me.”
I didn’t reply.
“After all we’ve been through together…”
“That’s the point.”
She stopped walking, and I stopped and turned to her. We looked at each other, and I could see she was upset. She said to me, “I would and did risk my life for you.”
“You did risk your life.”
She didn’t pursue that and asked me, “Do you really love me?”
“I do, but I don’t have to trust you.”
“You can’t have love without trust.”
“That’s female bullshit. Of course you can. Let’s go.” I took her arm, and we continued on.
She pulled away from me and said, “I’m going to the hotel. You go to the reception.”
This sounded like something from my last three or four relationships. It must be me. I said to her, “I need you there.”
“Try again.”
“You have the invitation, and you know the way. You know the host and hostess.”
“Try again.”
“I want you there.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. But you know. Tell me what was supposed to happen tonight.”
She didn’t answer for a few seconds, then said, “If I made it this far, I was supposed to go to the reception and tell someone whether or not I was successful, and turn over whatever I have.”
“Was I supposed to make it this far?”
She thought a moment and replied, “Situation A was we didn’t find Tran Van Vinh or we didn’t get any evidence. Then you go to Bangkok, and I go back to Saigon. Situation B, we found what we were looking for, but you don’t know what it means. You go to Bangkok, I go to Saigon. Situation C, you understand what we discovered, and you’re okay with it. You talk it over in Bangkok, I go to Saigon. Situation D is where you want to be a hero and a Boy Scout, and you and I go to Bangkok together. That’s the situation now.”
I watched the boats racing, or maybe engaging in mock naval battles; it was hard to tell with the Vietnamese.
“Paul?”
I looked at her.
She said, “Of course, it got complicated because I fell in love with you.”
“Everyone does. That’s Situation E.”
“All right. Situation E.”
I said to her, “Let’s go back to D. What are you supposed to do when I tell you that I’m going to report everything I’ve found out to my boss, then to the FBI, and to the Justice Department, and to the press, if I have to?”
She didn’t reply.
“And this will result in an official investigation, and possibly an indictment of Edward Blake, and his trial for murder, which might upset his plans to become president. Okay, if I told you this, which I did, then what were you supposed to do?”
“Reason with you.”
“I’m unreasonable. Then what?”
“You’re putting me in a difficult position.”
“Welcome to a difficult position. Talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say? That I was supposed to kill you? I told you, I was just supposed to keep an eye on you until I got you to Bangkok.” She paused, then said, “After that, I had no idea what they intended to do with you.”
“That’s pretty cold and heartless.”
“I know. But it sounded all right in the briefing. Haven’t you ever been to a briefing where tough decisions are discussed very logically and matter-of-fact, and they sound right, but then you go out and see the people you’re supposed to get tough with.” She looked at me.
In fact, most of my professional life, from battle briefings to JAG meetings, have been like that. I said, “I understand, but what you’re talking about is illegal, not to mention immoral and dishonest.”
“I know.”
“What was your motivation?”
She shrugged. “Stupid things. Excitement, adventure, the feeling that important men trusted and relied on me.” She looked at me. “I see you’re not buying that.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Good. You’re not as stupid as you look.”
“I hope not. Where’d you learn to use a gun?”
“Lots of places.”
“Who do you work for?”
“I really can’t tell you, and it doesn’t matter.” She added, “Don’t bother to ask again.”
I didn’t reply.
She said, “Look, Paul, you were ordered to lie to me from day one, and I was ordered to lie to you from day one. You have no right being pissed off at my lies while thinking your own lies are justified.”
I nodded. “Okay. But that’s why I’m out of this business.”
“You should consider staying in. You did a brilliant job with Tran Van Vinh, and with Colonel Mang, and with putting two and two together.”
“It’s good to quit when you’re ahead and alive.”
She looked at me and said, “I told you when we stood there in the Na Valley, when I gave you the gun, that I’d help you expose Edward Blake, though that is not what I’m supposed to do. I meant that, and I’ll do it, because it’s the right thing to do, and because… I’ll do anything you ask me to do. Even if you and I never see each other again, I want you to think well of me…”
I could see tears running down her face, and she wiped them with her hands.
I said, “Let’s go.”
We continued past the lake, and Susan knew the way. We turned up a street called Pho Ngo Quyen, and came to the Metropole Hotel on a corner. Susan said to me, “I can check in, and we can shower, and if you’d like, we can make love.”
“Why spoil such a perfect day?”
“Are you being cruel or funny?”
“Funny. Let’s get to the Ambassador’s digs and get this over with.”
“We’re dirty and we smell.”
“So does this job. How far is this place?”
“Another block.”
We passed the Metropole, made a turn, and continued down a small tree-shaded street. Up ahead, I could see a well-lighted area that I knew must be the ambassador’s house.
Susan stopped and looked at me. She said, “I’m upset, and I can’t go in there looking upset.”