I put the suitcase down on the carpet in the corridor, opened it up so she could see the blender and the can opener.
“What do you mean ‘free’?” she asked.
“Free,” I said.
“What do I do in return for these?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, come on, what’s the catch?”
I said, “You’re the hundred-thousandth prospect for the encyclopedia that I handle, and I have exactly fifteen minutes before I lose out on the prospect and it goes to another salesman. If I can telephone into headquarters that you’ve signed up within the next fifteen minutes, you get this blender and the can opener.”
She laughed and said, “Probably cheap merchandise that won’t—”
“Look it over,” I told her, handing her the blender. “That would cost you sixty-five dollars anyplace in town. That’s the highest quality brand name manufactured.”
“Why, so it is. Will it work?”
“Guaranteed.”
“Let me see the can opener.”
I showed her the can opener.
She hesitated a moment, then said, “Come in.”
I followed her into the apartment.
It was a pretty fair-looking place with a sitting room, a half-open door leading to a bedroom, and a small kitchen.
“How much is the encyclopedia?”
“About half what it’s worth,” I said.
“We have no room for an encyclopedia.”
“There’s a little bookcase that comes with it, it’s printed on thin paper, and you’d be surprised at the amount of accurate information that is packed into it.
“Take, for instance, the question of atomic power and the thrust ratio necessary to overcome the gravitational pull. Scientists refer to it as the critical speed at which a projectile would break loose from the gravitational pull of the earth.
“I can see you’re the sort of woman who goes out and gets in circulation. I don’t know what educational advantages you’ve had, but lots of times it pays to impress people with knowledge about some particular phase of a scientific activity which is before the public at the moment. Here, take a look at this reprint of the article on space orbit.”
She said, dubiously, “Well, if the encyclopedia doesn’t take up too much room and doesn’t cost too much, sit down and let me look it over.”
She prowled through the reprint pamphlet I had given her on space orbit.
“You see,” I said, “this is right up to the minute as far as scientific accuracy is concerned but it’s expressed in down-to-earth language that anybody can understand. You could put in half an hour studying that and then stand out in any gathering as a modern woman with a lot of scientific knowledge at your finger tips.”
“How much?” she asked.
I said, “We have here a contract and fifty-two easy weekly payments. When a set is bought on these terms, there is no interest.
“You’ll find the encyclopedia is really worth its weight in gold and— I have seven minutes left within which to sign you up. If I do, I’ll telephone in to the company and turn over to you gratuitously, without a penny’s expense to you, these premium articles which you get for being the hundred-thousandth purchaser.
“Of course, I can’t hold the offer open longer than seven minutes more, because there’s another salesman waiting at the doorstep of a likely prospect right now, and the minute my fifteen minutes are up, unless he’s advised by telephone that I’ve closed the deal here, I lose my chance at it. The chance then goes to Salesman Number 2. He has fifteen minutes from the time he calls on his prospect in order to close the deal.”
“And then?” she asked.
“If he closes it, the prospect gets the premiums. If he doesn’t, the opportunity goes to Salesman Number 3, and so on down the line; but at the rate these encyclopedias are selling, with the modern knowledge that they have packed into them, it probably never will get to Salesman Number 3. If you don’t close the order here, Salesman Number 2 will almost certainly have his prospect snap it up.”
She said, “I like to consult my husband before making purchases like this... Let me see that blender again.”
I gave her the blender.
She looked it all over.
“You’ll see,” I said, “that there’s an original guarantee with it right from the manufacturer. You fill out this postcard and mail it in to the manufacturer. Your blender is registered from that time on. It’s guaranteed for a full three years.
“Now, this electric can opener is designed to open any kind of a can; square, round, oblong, anything you put in there. Just pick up the can, push it into this holder, press this button, and the can is opened neatly without any jagged edges.
“Actually, it’s against the policy of the company to talk about any premiums we give. We’re supposed to sell the books, not the premiums. But we gave smaller bonuses to the purchaser who bought the twenty-five-thousandth set, one to the fifty-thousandth set, one to the seventy-five-thousandth set, and this is an extra bonus with the hundred-thousandth set.”
She hesitated.
“When will your husband be home?”
“Not for a couple of weeks, I’m afraid, He’s off on a business deal and— Poor man... I expect he’ll telephone me tonight.”
“What’s the trouble?” I asked. “Why do you say ‘poor man’?”
“He was in an automobile accident. He shouldn’t be traveling at all, but this is an important business deal and he had to go.”
I looked at my watch and said, “Well, I’m sorry, but if that’s the way it is I guess Salesman Number 2 is going to get the bonus customer.”
I started putting the electric can opener back into the suitcase, and reached for the blender.
“Wait a minute,” she said.
She again looked the electric blender over.
I waited until she had lifted her eyes, then ostentatiously looked at my wrist watch.
“All right,” she said, “I’ll take it.”
“Sign here,” I told her, pushing out the contract for the books.
“Heavens, I wouldn’t have time to read all this.”
“You don’t have to,” I told her. “You’re dealing with a reputable firm. You don’t have to pay any money down. Sometime within the next week a person will come and deliver the merchandise. When the delivery is made you make the first payment. Then you make fifty-two equal payments without interest as mentioned right here in this part of the contract. That’s the only part that entails any obligation on your part — except, of course, that you represent your credit is good, that you are solvent, that you are not signing this contract with any intention of defrauding the company.”
Again I looked at my wrist watch.
She grabbed the pen and signed.
I said, “May I use the phone, please? I only have just a few seconds left.”
I dashed over to the phone, dialed a number at random and said, “Hello, hello.”
A voice said, “Yes, hello?”
I said, “I’m Mr. Donald and I’ve made the hundred-thousandth sale. I claim the right to deliver the bonus premiums.”
A voice said, “You have the wrong number,” and hung up.
I said into the dead telephone, “I have the signed contract. Check with me on time please... That’s right, I’m still fifty seconds within the margin. I’m delivering the electric blender and the electric can opener to Mrs. Bruno and I’ll bring the contract into the office— That’s right, I’m making a delivery now.”
I said, “Yes, I have the signed contract,” and hung up the telephone.
I picked up the electric blender, took it out to the kitchen, put it on a shelf and said, “There are some screws with which to install this electric can opener. Would you like to have me help you put it up?”
“No, that’s fine,” she said, “I’ll put it up myself. I want to test that blender.”