JJ McH
Dear Miss Barrett,
Joseph Ferone missed an important Physics test today because he was with Mr. Grayson. If you arrange for him to see me, Ill be glad to make out another test for him.
Sincerely yours,
Marcus Manheim
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: P. Barringer, 309
TO: S. Barrett, 304
Sylvia!
Sorry I couldn't keep our date last night.
I enclose a peace-offering:
In a few days you'll be exposed, for the first time, to Open School.
It's an experience.
Model parents will visit model teachers in model classrooms.
Let's sing this to them, with apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan:
I am the very model of a modern teacher, well aware
Of all the new developments from Iowa to Delaware;
I've information sundry on my many students various
On all the graded levels of their tabulated areas.
(
My back is full of callouses from my psychoanalysis
My head is full of insights and devoid of common fallacies.
The truant and the super-slow have my attention diligent;
I even have some time to give the normally intelligent!
There is more, but I'm due at rehearsal.
Last calclass="underline" Will you, at least, join the chorus? Help with makeup? Sew costumes? Paint props?
Meet me, same time, at The Tavern?
Paul
TO: ALL TEACHERS
I HAVE NOTED AND OBSERVED IN ASSEMBLY THAT A NUMBER OF OUR STUDENTS SEEM UNCERTAIN OF THE WORDS OF OUR ALMA MATER SONG, "THE PURPLE AND GOLD." THERE SEEMS TO BE CONFUSION IN THE FIRST STANZA PARTICULARLY. TEACHERS ARE ADVISED AND URGED TO GO OVER THE WORDING WITH THEIR STUDENTS SO THAT THE SONG MAY BE SUNG AT THE NEXT AND SUBSEQUENT ASSEMBLIES WITH THE RIGHT AND PROPER FEELING AND ENUNCIATION. THE WORDS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
MAXWELL E. CLARKE,
PRINCIPAL
CIRCULAR # 61
PLEASE KEEP ALL CIRCULARS ON FILE, IN THEIR ORDER
TOPIC: HOMEWORK ADDENDUM
WE HAVE HAD AN EPIDEMIC OF UNPREPARED STUDENTS. A STUDENT UNPREPARED WITH HOMEWORK MUST SUBMIT TO HIS TEACHER, IN WRITING, HIS REASON OR REASONS FOR NEGLECTING TO DO IT. PLEASE KEEP THESE HOMEWORK EXCUSES ON FILE IN THE RIGHT-HAND DRAWER OF YOUR DESK.
JAMES J. MCHABE
ADM. ASST.
24. From the Right-Hand Drawer, Room 304
I know homework is essential to our well being, and I did it but I got into a fight with some kid on the way to school and he threw it in the gutter.
My dog chewed it up.
I didn't know we were supposed to do it.
I fell asleep on the subway because I stayed up all night doing my homework, so when it stopped at my station I ran through the door not to be late & left it on the seat on the subway.
The cat chewed it up and there was no time to do it over.
Why I Didn't Do It. When you tell us to bring a book report I do not like it because I have to go to the library and get a book to read it. It will take me about two month or more to read it and I have to owe money to them and it adds up. It isn't fair to the pocket, Ha-ha! In those hours when I have to read the book I can watch TV or play around or shoot a couple.
As I was taking down the assignment my ballpoint stopped.
I had to study French so didn't have time to study English.
I did it but left it home by mistake.
If a teacher wants to know something why doesn't she look it up herself instead of making we students do it? We benefit ourselves more by listening to her, after all, she's the teacher!
The baby spilled milk on it.
My brother took "my" homework instead of "his."
I have to work after school and they kept me til midnight.
The page was missing from my book.
Even though I brought in a legal note for absence he sent me back. That's why I'm unprepared.
I had to take care of my three siblings because my mother is in the hospital.
I lost my book & just found it.
There's no room in my house now my uncle moved in and I have to sleep in the hall and couldn't use the kitchen table.
Some one stole it.
I was sick and had to go to bed.
What homework?
My dog pead on it
PART V
25. A Message to Garcia
TO: ALL TEACHERS
FOR THOSE WHO MISSED LAST MONDAY'S ASSEMBLY BECAUSE OF THE CONFUSION RESULTING FROM SWITCHING X2 AND Y2 SECTIONS, A COPY OF DR. CLARKE'S ADDRESS TO THE HONOR STUDENTS IS ENCLOSED.
I AM PLEASED AND PRIVILEGED TO SALUTE AND CONGRATULATE THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE THROUGH YOUR OWN DETERMINATION AND STICKTOITEVENESS ACHIEVED AN HONORED AND ENVIABLE PLACE ON THE HONOR ROLL. YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY OF LEARNING FROM AND CONTRIBUTING TO THE CULTURAL HERITAGE OF THE GENERATIONS BEFORE AND AFTER YOU AS THEY HAVE LEARNED FROM AND CONTRIBUTED TO YOU. NOW YOU MUST DRAW UPON THE RICH WAREHOUSE OF SKILLS YOU HAVE ACQUIRED AND KNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE WON AND CONTINUE TO FACE THE FUTURE, TO GO ONWARD TOWARDS VENTURES EVER NEW, FORWARD TOWARDS HORIZONS EVER WIDER. AS THE GREAT POET SO WELL PUT IT: "SAY NOT THE STRUGGLE NAUGHT AVAILETH." IT AVAILETH; IT AVAILETH INDEED; FOR NOTHING LASTING OR WORTHWHILE WAS EVER WON WITHOUT IT. YOU WHO HAVE THUS FOUGHT AND STRUGGLED TO ACHIEVE THE SPLENDID DISTINCTION OF A PLACE ON THE HONOR ROLL KNOW FULL WELL THAT THIS IS SO, AND AS I LOOK UPON YOUR PROUD AND HAPPY FACES, I AM REMINDED OF THE YOUNG MAN WHO, IF YOU RECALL, HAD SO ZEALOUSLY AND SO SELFLESSLY CARRIED THE MESSAGE TO GARCIA.
AND YET, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT ACHIEVED SUCH A PLACE ON THE HONOR ROLL MUST NOT FEEL THAT YOU HAVE FAILED. ON THE CONTRARY, IT IS YOU WHO ARE THE BACKBONE AND THE REAR-GUNNERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FORGED AHEAD, FOR WITHOUT YOU AND YOUR CONTRIBUTION, THEY COULD NOT HAVE ACHIEVED WHAT THEY DID. IN A LARGE MEASURE OR SMALL, WE EACH AND ALL OF US ARE CONTRIBUTING TO THE GOOD OF THE WHOLE, THOSE BEHIND THE THRONE AS WELL AS THOSE ON THE THRONE, WHICH IS THE ULTIMATE AIM AND GOAL OF DEMOCRACY IN ACTION. ANYONE WHO HAS HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO ATTEND OUR G.O. MEETINGS KNOWS THAT DEMOCRACY CAN AND DOES WORK, AND IT IS UP TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US TO PASS IT ON INTO THE FUTURE.
Sylvia!
No chance to stop by today.
My classes are being covered while I'm in auditorium, presumably blocking out Faculty Show. Actually, I'm writing my own version of Calvin Coolidge Gilbert & Sullivan. It will never pass by the censors, but may win a smile from you. Which is all I ask.