One wordless moment with Ferone, one moment of real feeling, and I had toppled off my tightrope, parasol and all.
And Feronewhere is he and what is to become of him?
I wonder how he himself will tell it, or recall it. "I had this teacher, see, and once, on a winter afternoon . . ."
I keep remembering what he had said to me. "What makes you think you're so special? Just because you're a teacher?" What he was really saying was: You are so special. You are my teacher. Then teach me, help me. Hey, teach, I'm lostwhich way do I go? I'm tired of going up the down staircase.
So am I.
What is it that I wanted? A good question. Interesting, challenging, thought-provoking, as required in the Model Lesson Plan. A pivotal question, "directed towards the appreciation of human motives" and eliciting answers I may not like.
I wanted to make a permanent difference to at least one child. "A Teacher Ill Never Forget"? Yes.
I wanted to share my enthusiasm with them; I wanted them to respond. To love me? Yes.
I wanted to mold minds, shape souls, guide my flock through English and beyond. To be a lady-God? That's close.
I wanted to fight the unequal battle against all that stands in the way of teaching. To blaze a trail? Indeed.
Yet I am about to quit.
Am I but another dropout?
I think of new kids that will come and go, card after card in the Delaney Book, dropping without a ripple out of sight. The same kids, but with different names, making the same mistakes in the same way. I think how little anyone can do, even with love, especially with love. And I long for Willowdale. (Those windows! Those windows with trees in them!) I think I'm not so special after all.
I will have time, as I lie here alone with my fifth metatarsal, to do a lot more thinking.
They've just brought me a stack of mail.
Write me c/o the hospital. (I haven't told Mother or anyone at home of my accident.) Let me know if my electric rabbit reached Suzie in time for the tree, and how your eggnog recipe turned out. And a very merry Xmas!
Love,
Syl
P.S. What statistics can I give you?
Did you know that the median age for female accidents in the schools is 48.2? And that the accidents occur mostly on the stairs?
I don't seem to fit.
S.
54. Greetings on Your Illness
Greetings on your illness and best wishes for coming back soon. This sub we made her so miserable I bet she'll never show up around here again. While she's having histerics in the office we're all passing around this Round Robbin in rows alphabetically even though a lot of us are absent, to tell you your method of teaching was fair and square. If there is anything I can possibly do about it I would do it. Have a Happy New Year always.
Frank Allen
Elizabeth Elis said we should sign our real names to show that you thaught us to have the courage of our convinctions. So here goes. A man's reach should exeed his gasp is a statement true to life and I am using it daily. This proves your lessons sunk in and you didn't drum it into our heads for nothing. Hoping you will get well soon and enthuse about books once more.
Andrew Alvarez
(Use to sign Anonimus)
Some one told us a terrible rumor that you're not coming back to us. We miss you something terrible. Even tho it's just before Xmas the whole class can't enjoy it. Please please come back & I'll do anything for you, even read a Julius Ceasar.
Janet Amdur
A Xmas present doesn't have to be only a thing. It can also be by telling you how you helped us this term, which is what we decided to do. How you helped me is in giving me a liking for school which I previously lacked. It's awful you got hurt but they say you'll be OK soon. If Alice was in front of me she would sign her name too so I'll sign for her.
A Merry Xmas from Carole Blanca
And Alice Blake
I refuse to sign this robin.
Excuse my english if I would of studied harder I could now be riting you a nice letter like the others, if you can read my riting you would know your class was my happist time of life.
Real name Marvin Chertock
I can't believe you're not coining back. School wouldn't be school without you. Every time you came into the room (304) I always looked you over, no offence I hope. When I told my friends about you they all envied me. You don't make the subject too confusing, also not too hard on the eyes, which adds to my knowledge. Myself and my whole family is praying for your speedy recovery to English.
Gary Daniels (A Bashful Nobody. Now you know!)
Some things can't be expressed in words. Even though I want to be a writer, I know this. But I think you know what I mean when I say only "Thank you".
Elizabeth Ellis
You and Roseanne (my imaginary twin sister) are my only friends and both beautiful to look at. Don't let anything Bad happen to you in the hospital. When I used to have my other English classes I used to have those excrushiating headaches. But since you, I don't mind if they give me English 20 times a day and I mean it.
Your Admireress
Francine Gardner
Though I made a funny face when you said you would read poetry I really disliked it. In case I don't see you in person, I hope they can save your foot, I knew some one (R.L.) who got into a foot accident and is on cruches.
I used to sign Guess Whodid you guess who?
Rachel Gordon?
I wish you a complete cure and New Years. You gave me a deeper understanding of people like Pygmallion and others.
Sam Harper
(Formally I signed )
You are my most memorial teacher, you teach a subject as fast as it can enter and stay put in the brain. And you're a person with a good sense of humor and a touch of teacherly love.
Jerry Hyams, former Cutter
To Miss Barrett, who helped me in education as well as my personal and business life, best wishes of the season.
Harry A. Kagan
(The Students Future Choice)
Now it can be told, that's who I am!
I want to join this r. robin to tell you how I feel. You are like the gems in the ocean. Ill tell my children about you and my days with you. My motto is "never forget". The day is dragging out without you but you made the period fly like wings, even a long Home Room like this. Even the way you dressed made everything clearer and up to date. For the rest of my life I will try to grab higher than my reach.
Ronnie