Dear Miss Barette,
I need a dropout slip to work because I'm of age and my income is needed at home. Most of school is a waste anyhow, every period another subject Algebra French Eco English one after the other what good is it, it's all a Jumble and in each class the teacher tells you something different until you don't know who to believe.
I'm better off out.
Your pupil
Vince Arbuzzi
(I wasn't in Home Room due to the office unable to find my records this morning)
FROM: JAMES J. MCHABE, ADM. ASST.
TO: ALL TEACHERS
SINCE WE HAVE A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF DROP-OUTS, PLEASE MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO ENCOURAGE YOUR STUDENTS TO REMAIN IN SCHOOL BY POINTING OUT THE VALUES OF EDUCATION.
J J McH
CIRCULAR # 4
TOPIC: ETHICAL STANDARDS
PLEASE KEEP ALL CIRCULARS ON FILE, IN THEIR ORDER TO PROTECT OUR STUDENTS FROM THE TEMPTATION OF FRAUDULENT PRACTICES AND TO ASSURE TEACHERS OF THE AUTHENTICITY OF ALL DATA, THE FOLLOWING PRECAUTIONS MUST BE TAKEN:
1. SUBJECT TEACHERS ARE TO SIGN STUDENT PROGRAM CARDS IN INK, WITH THEIR FULL NAME, AS PROOF THAT STUDENT HAS APPEARED IN CLASS. NO INITIALS, PENCIL OR NAME-STAMPERS ARE ACCEPTABLE.
2. THE ABOVE IS ALSO TRUE OF ALL PASSES SIGNED BY THE TEACHER.
3. CHECK THE ROLL BOOK FOR NON-EXISTENT ADDRESSES AND NON-AUTHENTIC PARENT OR GUARDIAN, TO FACILITATE WORK OF TRUANT OFFICER.
4. IN MAKING ENTRIES ON RECORDS, DO NOT ERASE, SCRATCH OUT, OR USE INK ERADICATOR. CORRECTIONS ARE TO BE MADE ONLY WITH THE SIGNATURE OF THE PRINCIPAL OR ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT WHO WILL APPROVE THE CORRECTION.
5. DURING FIRE, SHELTER AREA OR OTHER EMERGENCY DRILLS, INFORM STUDENTS TO BE PARTICULARLY CAREFUL ABOUT THEIR VALUABLES. BOOKS AND NOTE BOOKS ARE TO BE LEFT BEHIND, BUT POCKETBOOKS AND WALLETS ARE TO BE HELD ON TO. WE HAVE HAD AN EPIDEMIC OF UNFORTUNATE INCIDENTS.
WITH THESE PRECAUTIONS IN MIND, WE CAN HELP OUR STUDENTS ACHIEVE THE HIGH ETHICAL STANDARDS WE EXPECT OF THEM.
JAMES J. MCHABE
ADM. ASST.
I WISH TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO EXTEND A WARM WELCOME TO ALL FACULTY AND STAFF, AND THE SINCERE HOPE THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED FROM A HEALTHFUL AND FRUITFUL SUMMER VACATION WITH RENEWED VIM AND VIGOR, READY TO GIRD YOUR LOINS AND TACKLE THE MANY IMPORTANT AND VITAL TASKS THAT LIE AHEAD UNDAUNTED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP AND COOPERATION IN THE PAST AND FUTURE.
MAXWELL E. CLARKE
PRINCIPAL
4. Intraschool Communication
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Dear 304 Just got your latest SOS. Don't let them lead you by the nose. They're testing you. Sit on them from the first moment to show you're boss; they can find out later how nice you really are. There is no such thing as an Early Dismissal Monitor or a Permanent Pass to the Water Fountain.
Bea
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Dear Syl Serves you right! Never turn your back to the class when writing on the board learn the overhead backhand. Never give a lesson on "lie and lay." Never raise your voice; let them stop talking to hear you. Never give up. And to thine own self be true.
(There is no such thing as a Social Intercourse Period!)
Bea
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea
What's a PRC?
Syl
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Dear Syl
Sorry I couldn't answer sooner; was busy disentangling a kid from a wrong program.
PRC is the Permanent Record Card; in it you will find the CC, or "Capsule Characterization" a pregnant phrase composed about each student at the end of each term by his homeroom teacher. In the PRC is the PPP (It almost sings, doesn't it?). That's the "Pupil Personality Profile", invented by Ella Friedenberg, Guidance Counselor. She thinks she's Freud, but actually, she's Peeping Tom. She has based her PPP's on such interviews with kids as: "Why do you hate your parents?" "What is your sexual problem?" Avoid her. Also avoid McHabe he's in charge of Discipline and Supplies. He can't bear to part with a paper clip; ask him for a red pencil and he blanches. Dr. Clarke will avoid you. He's really a Mr. but prefers, for reasons of prestige, to be called Dr. Do so. He exists mainly as a signature on the circulars; sometimes he materializes in assembly and makes a speech on "Education For Life"; occasionally he conducts important visitors through the school. Most of the kids think Grayson is principaclass="underline" he's the distinguished gentleman with the white mane who is "The Custodial Staff." If your ceiling should fall down, send a note to the basement. He'll probably say he isn't there, but at least you've tried.
Crumple this piece of paper into a small ball and swallow it!
Bea
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea Paper swallowed. Who is Paul Barringer?
Syl
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Glamor boy of Eng. Dept. Unpublished Writer. He drinks too much, such men are dangerous. He'll woo you with rhymes. Now you're on your own.
Bea
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea Can we meet for a smoke in the Teachers' Lounge between classes? I've got to talk to an adult!
Syl
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Dear Innocent So-called Teachers' Lounge is Supply Room in basement. Has beat-up couch someone once donated; also sink and chair. But can't be used because of steam pipes in ceiling. Besides, smoking there is against fire regulations. Only place to smoke is Women's Toilet on third floor landing. Let's meet there right after 6th period. Get key to toilet from Sadie Finch. We'll have four whole minutes if we're lucky and traffic in halls is with us. Sorry I can't come down now trying to dissuade salvageable youngster from quitting school.
Bea
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea
What am I supposed to do about the number of basketballs I need?
Syl
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508
TO: 304
Nothing. Notice was put in your box by mistake.
Health Ed teacher is right under you.
Bea
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304
TO: 508
Dear Bea I am about to send in my registers to Bester: I've got unexcused students, unauthorized students, non-authenticated students, illegitimate students, loitering students and absent students and still they add up to 223 in my subject classes, besides the 46 in my homeroom. Will someone drop out tomorrow? Will it be I?
Syl