LOVE
Raven phoned Gomez as soon as she returned to her quarters. No answer. She asked the habitat’s personnel monitor to locate him, but the monitor reported he was nowhere to be found.
He went off with a pair of women, Raven remembered from the night before. Haven’s security cameras scanned every square centimeter of public space aboard the habitat: passageways, parks, restaurants, shops, maintenance facilities, laboratories, storage areas, the hospital, offices. But private living quarters remained private. No security cameras watched them.
Where could Tómas be? Raven wondered.
She asked the security system to scan again. He’s got to be somewhere, Raven told herself.
And there he was, trudging along one of the passageways down among the habitat’s docking facilities. What’s he doing there? Raven wondered. His submersible isn’t there anymore, it’s gone into Uranus’s ocean.
“Tómas,” she called. “Can you hear me? It’s me, Raven.”
He looked up at the sound of her voice. “Raven. Where are you?”
“In my quarters. Come and join me. I’ll make some breakfast.”
Raven expected Gomez to be joyful, happy about his night with the two women he’d walked off with. Instead, as he sat at the kitchen’s tiny foldout table, he seemed morose, dejected… guilty?
She placed a plate of eggs and faux bacon before him and asked, “Did you enjoy your party?”
He looked startled.
Raven carried her own plate from the microwave oven to the miniature table and sat down opposite Gomez. “You certainly were the center of everyone’s attention.”
Gomez nodded glumly.
“Come on, eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”
He poked at the eggs.
“What’s the matter, Tómas?” Raven asked, smiling at him. “Didn’t you have a good time?”
He stared down at his plate.
“Two women,” Raven prompted. “You must be pretty tired.”
He looked up at her. “I wish it had been you.”
Raven’s mouth dropped open. “Me?”
“I love you, Raven.”
She stared at him, thinking, He’s spent the night with two women and he tells me he’s in love with me? Something inside her wanted to laugh at his hangdog expression, but something stronger kept her from doing that.
She heard herself ask, “You love me?”
“I do.”
Raven thought, You’d better put a stop to this, right here and now.
She said, “That’s very sweet of you, Tómas, but you can’t really mean it.”
“I do mean it. I love you.” The expression on his face was full of misery.
Raven shook her head. “Maybe you think you do, but—”
“I know what I feel. I love you!”
“Tómas, do you know what I was before I came here to Haven?”
“I don’t care.”
“I was a whore! I fucked men for money. Women too. I was a whore!”
“But you’re not anymore.”
“I’m not? What do you think I was doing while you were making out with your two friends?”
“I don’t care.”
“Well I do,” Raven said, her voice burning with the anger inside her. “I’m still a whore and I’m not interested in a moonstruck scientist who’s feeling guilty about having an enjoyable time last night.”
He stared at her, his deep brown eyes unblinking, steady and firm.
“Tómas, this is impossible!”
Gomez pushed his chair back from the table and slowly rose to his feet. Standing, he said softly, “I know you can’t love me. I know I’m nothing in your eyes. But I thought that if I told you how I felt… how I love you… it might make a difference.”
Raven remained seated. She looked up at him and said, “You’ll forget about me.” Before he could protest she went on, “It’s better that you do. I’m very flattered that you think so highly of me, but I’m not the woman you think I am. It will be better if we don’t see each other again.”
Gomez bit his lip and nodded. Silently he turned and walked out to the front door and left Raven’s apartment.
For long moments she stared at the door once it closed behind him. Then she sank her head in her arms and began to cry uncontrollably.
EDUCATION
Once she regained control of her emotions, Raven went into her living room, phoned Waxman and—without hesitation—asked him to find someone else to assist Gomez.
His expression on her wall screen was somewhere between surprised and amused.
“You don’t want to work with him anymore?” Waxman asked.
Sitting alone on her sofa, Raven replied, “I think it’s better if I don’t. I think I should devote all my attention to learning what I need to know about being your assistant.”
“Wonderful!” said Waxman. “You can start this evening, at my place. Dinner for two.”
Raven smiled thinly. “Evan, you told me to report for work at oh-nine-hundred. I’m serious about learning to be your assistant. I mean it.”
He flourished a hand in the air. “Certainly! And I’m happy that you feel this way. I’ll see you in my office at oh-nine-hundred hours, then.”
“Good.” Glancing at the clock on the kitchen counter, Raven saw that she had more than twenty minutes to get to Waxman’s office.
“And you can forget about tonight. I’ll find someone else to dine with.”
Raven started to reply, but held her tongue. Of course he’ll find someone else, she told herself. He must have a whole harem of women waiting for him to crook his finger at one of them. I’m just another conquest for him.
“Fine,” she said flatly.
She made herself smile more brightly at his image on the screen. Waxman smiled back. Raven was surprised that he didn’t lick his lips.
It was a strange romance, Raven thought. Every few nights Waxman invited her to his apartment and Raven went willingly, knowing what he expected. They spent those nights in bed together, exploring the many ways a man and a woman can give pleasure to each other. But once the habitat’s lighting system turned on its daylight mode, Raven became a student. She studied the complexities of Haven’s physical layout, the organization of its government and population, the balances of power and authority, who made decisions and who carried out those decisions.
For the first time in her life, Raven began to see how a community as massive and complex as Haven was actually put together, how it ran, how everything functioned.
Waxman was a gentle, accommodating lover. Insistent, but not too demanding. She smiled at his relaxed attitude. So sure of himself. He seemed truly concerned about her education, prodding her to learn and teaching her how to use what she learned in the day-to-day affairs of the habitat.
The nights he spent with her were very different, though. He made Raven feel as if she were the only woman in the universe that he cared for. But then he would go days, even weeks, before calling her to his bed again.
She did her best to satisfy him, knowing that she had plenty of competition for his affections. Meanwhile, she learned—even in her sleep.
Waxman gave her a pair of tiny buds that she could worm into her ears. Once her breathing and heart rates showed she was deeply asleep, the buds stimulated her brain directly and she awoke much more knowledgeable than she’d been when she’d fallen asleep.
During those weeks, every now and then she’d notice Quincy O’Donnell’s hulking figure, usually at a distance, his eyes on her. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable, but whenever the big man got close enough to speak to her he invariably mumbled a “Hello” and then shambled off, as if embarrassed.