Carlee nodded profusely as more tears ran down her cheeks; the beads of emotion sparkled with the light from the energy cell as they fell. She was captivating.
“I can’t believe she’s gone . . . I never would have guessed that it would be an Apostle that . . .” Carlee trailed off. Jeff understood that; he had a hard time talking about Chad and his family.
“Seems like so long ago that she ambushed us with her giant bodyguard. Scared me half to death.” Stefani chuckled like they were laughing at some old joke between them; it made Jeff feel out of place. He contemplated stepping away and giving them some space, but he feared that would only draw undue attention.
“I wonder how many time lines Bobby shot her in.”
“I’m pretty sure this was the golden path for her,” Stefani said. “No way he doesn’t shoot her in all the rest of the time lines for the way she stormed into our war council like that. I can still see the look on Bobby’s face! His hand on that stupid Magnum he loved . . .”
They laughed for a minute together until the sullen cheer of remembering fallen comrades died out once again. One thing was for certain: the vagrants were no more immune to loss than anyone else. They talked like people who had seen many friends die.
Fifth Springs had lost its fair share of people through the years. Chad and Charlotte had lost their first girl, born a year after Everett, when she was only fourteen months old. Despite everything he had been through, from losing his dad to nearly starving with the other early members of Fifth Springs, it had been the saddest day of his life up to that point. Carlee looked like Chad had when he used to laugh about the way his daughter had smiled at him.
“She was right,” Carlee said softly enough that Jeff wasn’t sure she meant it for the conversation. “She was right then, just like she always was. How different things would be if we had listened.”
Stefani’s eyes squinted for a split second, but she didn’t comment on what Carlee had said. Instead, she put her arm around Carlee and pulled her in for a half hug. The two of them sat together for a few minutes without saying a word.
“So, what do we do now?” Stefani asked.
“How should I know? Jane was the best of us, and she’s gone. No one else showed up to the rendezvous point in New Mexico. Maybe that’s because no one else made it out alive, or maybe that’s because I got there too soon—I don’t know.”
“It’s probably smart not to go there anyway,” Stefani said. “We were close enough to Petra and Horus that they might have snagged some details from our minds or even have some leeches try to track us. Better to wait for the next meet-up.”
“Well, we don’t have a choice now anyway. We’ll go to Washington in two months and see who is left. Figure things out then. Until then . . . I don’t know. We can keep teaching Jeff how to be a vagrant. We’ll need him now.”
“Not sure that it will take him that long,” Stefani said proudly.
“Oh?” Carlee and Stefani looked over to him eagerly.
“Yeah, I figured out how to press something.”
“Jeff, that’s great!” Carlee said. It was the first time he’d heard her have a hint of happiness in her voice since they had finished hugging one another when Stefani and Jeff had arrived.
“Only once. I’m not even sure if I can do it again . . . but I did it once.”
“I take full credit for it,” Stefani said. “Clearly, it was my personal tutelage that got him across the single-reality barrier.”
“I have no doubt.”
“I’m sure I still have lots to learn.” He knew he learned best from a teacher. The only thing he had ever been a natural at was fighting, but every boy bigger than him had been a teacher at that. He’d only learned to fix things from hours and hours of tinkering. Other people were faster at picking skills up than he was, but no one was more persistent.
“Another couple of weeks with Stef and I’m sure you’ll be one of the finest vagrants the world has ever seen.”
“Kid has potential,” Stefani said. “Could almost be half as good as me someday.”
Jeff smiled at the compliment and the way she called him a kid. He was anything but a child, especially compared to her.
“Did you tell him about—”
“Yup,” Stefani said. “He knows.”
“I figure it can’t be too much worse than getting punched in the face over and over,” Jeff said. He was trying to be funny, and the way that Stefani and Carlee responded showed him that they got his intention but didn’t have the heart to tell him how much worse it actually was.
“Well, now that the two of you are here to watch camp and keep an eye on things, I am going to go take a bath,” Carlee said, standing up. “I need to get this armor and exoskeleton off me before I go completely mad.”
A slight quiver returned to Carlee’s voice at the end of her proclamation, betraying the fact that she wasn’t quite ready to move on from Jane’s death just yet. Jeff didn’t blame her for wanting some time alone; it was something he hadn’t had enough of since Chad had died. He knew there were emotions still buried in him that he would have to face someday. Not tonight, though.
“Exoskeletons?” Jeff asked as soon as Carlee had disappeared.
“You didn’t think we were natural power-lifters, did you?”
“I wouldn’t put anything past you at this point.”
“You’re starting to wise up,” Stefani said as she stared at the spot where Carlee had disappeared into the foliage.
“You think she’s going to be OK?”
“She’s been through worse.” Stefani didn’t take her eyes off the spot where their friend had left them.
“I can imagine, losing her—”
“Keep an eye on things,” Stefani said as she followed after Carlee, leaving her gun behind.
“Sure. Wouldn’t want anyone stealing our stuff or anything. It’s real irreplaceable,” Jeff mumbled to himself. He felt restless being left behind again, so he got to his feet and wandered into the trees in the opposite direction. There were clouds of mosquitoes and bugs in the air, and the farther he got from the smoke, the worse it became.
There weren’t any signs of leeches, Apostles, or even humans around. In fact, the entire little island they were resting on seemed to be entirely their own. Thoughts of colonizing the island floated to the top of his mind. They could make it the new home base of the vagrants. It would give them a home of their own; they could fly far away, press in supplies, and bring them back. If they did it right, the Apostles wouldn’t be able to find them. It could be a new Fifth Springs.
The idea of a new community without the ridiculous rules of the coalition and treacherous mayors was appealing. But the more he thought about it, the more problems he came up with. Eventually, it would get too big, and it would draw too much attention. And it wouldn’t offer the same number of opportunities to help people as traveling would.
But that was an excuse. Deep down, he knew he wouldn’t be happy—even after Stefani helped him with his revenge—living the Fifth Springs life. The world had changed too much for that. He had changed too much for that. Before, he had been limited to a few square miles where he might find someone acceptable to settle down with until a leech wiped them out because it had nothing better to do. There were endless possibilities now, real opportunities to live for the first time.
And that, he realized, was why he didn’t have an answer to what he wanted out of his life. It was a question that he had never considered before. Having desires was just not practical in the world he had been raised in. Everyone was equally poor, hungry, and likely to die at any moment. Hope for a meaningful death had been the only realistic goal to aspire to.
Now, he wanted to have a meaningful life.